Mayhem in Middle Earth
by Becky Greenleaf
Summary: Two cousins arrive in Middle Earth and cause absolute mayhem. THE TWO TOWERS EDITION OF MAYHEM IN MIDDLE-EARTH HAS ARRIVED! CHAPTER 24 IS NOW UP AFTER A LONG DELAY! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Mayhem in Middle Earth  
  
Authors: Becky Greenleaf  
  
Genre: Humor\Action\Adventure  
  
Rating: Let's just say PG to be safe.  
  
Summary: Aww man do I HAVE to? C'mon I have enough of this from my evil  
  
English teacher. Oh fine. Two cousins end up in Middle Earth during The Fellowship of The Ring and they make everyone they meet wish they'd never been born. (My evil teacher would be proud. Such a short summary. Not like my 150-worders on the 50-word limit she gave us. Whoops. Now I've said too much.)  
  
WARNING: This pertains to everyone. Some of you may be angry that this story makes fun of your favorite character but let me just tell you something: this story makes fun of EVERYONE. Everyone. Legolas, Aragorn, Arwen, Gandalf, Frodo EVERYONE. So you see I am not particular to leave Legolas perfectly immaculate, saying all his lines perfectly and is the perfect Elf. NO ONE escapes the torture. MWAHAHAHA.  
  
Author's Note: J'adore Legolas in case you haven't noticed by now. Ooh he is so hott, he is a wonderful archer and I love that horse trick (The Two Towers) and I scream every time he does something in LOTR: FOTR and LOTR: TTT movie. And every time I read any of his lines in the books I have to stop and read it over three times. What? I'm a fangirl but I'm a fangirl from the good side. Not a Mary-Sue *shudders at the horrible thought*. Plus I can spell really well so haha definitely not a Mary-Sue. And I've read the books. Sorta. I'm 1\2 way through ROTK. I've read TTT and FOTR though. J'aime Orlando Bloom. He's gorgeous!  
  
Author's Important Note: Sadly, this is part Mary-Sue. The idea of girls falling into Middle-Earth has been used before and it's gonna be used again. But there is going to be absolutely NO romance in this fic. It's only going to be me or Missy swooning after Legolas, Aragorn etcetera etcetera etcetera.  
  
Author's Other Note: This is mostly based on the movie but may have some pieces from the book. Not too sure about that but neeway.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this story and myself. Missy owns herself. J.R.R. Tolkien owns the Lord of the Rings and all the characters in them. The actors all own themselves, sadly. If Legolas and Aragorn are being auctioned off on E-Bay please tell me so I can try to buy them with *she and Missy opens wallets* a grand total of $3.00! 


	2. Chapter 1: Where are we?

Chapter 1: Where are we????  
  
Becky and her cousin Missy trudged through the woods, both out-of-breath and dragging heavy suitcases with them.  
  
"How-much-longer-till-we-reach-the-house?" Missy managed to wheeze out when they had come to a clearing in the woods.  
  
"You don't wanna know," Becky paused for a second to check her watch and keeled over headfirst onto her suitcase. "Owwie."  
  
Missy didn't waste any time. She plopped down onto the grass and leaned against a big tree.  
  
The two cousins fell silent, contemplating the past few hours.  
  
Becky, Missy, Becky's parents and Missy's parents and Becky's aunt, uncle and cousins had all arrived on this little island this morning by boat. They had had a horrible long hour and a half boat trip in which everyone had gotten soaked to the bone.  
  
Becky had insisted as soon as they'd stepped off the boat that she was not staying soggy and dripping wet like this. So she'd insisted on staying back to change her clothes at the public bathroom and Missy had been forced to stay with her. And to make matters worse their evil family had left them with most of the baggage.  
  
Plus they'd been walking through the woods for four hours and they seemed to be getting no closer to the house.  
  
"You know, we really should get going," Becky said, not even bothering to scrape herself off the suitcase.  
  
"Just now.must take nappy," Missy mumbled and then her eyes closed.  
  
"Good idea," Becky propped up onto her arm.  
  
As the cousins dozed off into a deep sleep, no one noticed the wild swaying of the branches overhead and the soft singing in a fair tongue that filled the air.  
  
The leaves began to fall from the trees and they slowly swished downwards and began spinning in frantic circles in the air.  
  
The singing grew louder and there was a brilliant flash of light.  
  
***  
  
A few hours later, Becky painfully cracked open her eyes, waking up from a wonderful dream. But she soon had to shade her eyes from the bright glare of the afternoon sun.  
  
She sat up groggily and rubbed her eyes. She grinned stupidly remembering what had happened in the dream but then frowned because she had woken up just when it was getting good.  
  
Then she took a good look at her surroundings.  
  
But why did the forest look so different all of a sudden?  
  
The trees were different; taller and greener. The air was fresher and cleaner and the sky was a lovely blue. She even heard birds chirping happily overhead.  
  
Becky glanced at her watch to see how long she'd slept and her eyes widened in surprise.  
  
The hands of the watch were spinning wildly.  
  
"What in the world?" Becky said, confused. Maybe it had gotten wet or something.  
  
Maybe it had rained while they were sleeping.  
  
Speaking of they, she glanced across to the tree to see her cousin still fast asleep.  
  
She hurried over and quickly shook her awake.  
  
"No. Give me the Aragorn bookmark! Give it to me. My Ranger!" Missy mumbled sleepily.  
  
"Wake up," Becky said, laughing. "I can guess what you were dreaming about." Missy sat up wide-awake and blushing.  
  
"Must've been an interesting dream. You know the dream I just had was about Lord of the Rings too! It was about Leggy," Becky said and began telling Missy (who really wasn't paying attention) all about it.  
  
Becky was the avid the Lord of The Rings fan out of the two cousins. She was a head-over-heels crazy Legolas fan-girl. She was totally obsessed with "Leggykins" and her desktop and screensavers were adorned with him. She spent all her free time, reading the LOTR books or watching the movie or downloading more LOTR stuff.  
  
She also had several Elvish names and knew how to talk some Elvish. She had seen The Fellowship of The Ring thirteen times (she'd made it her goal to see it nine times in honor of the whole fellowship but she couldn't resist watching it over and over again) and she'd seen The Two Towers three times. She'd completely memorized the entire script of the Fellowship of The Ring and the majority of The Two Towers. She knew everything about all the characters.  
  
She had read about a million "You know you're obsessed when." lists and had more than half of the obsessions highlighted.  
  
Missy on the other hand had seen The Fellowship of The Ring once in its entirety and really couldn't care less about seeing the second one. *Fangirls around the universe gasp in horror*. She was an Aragorn fangirl though she was yet to admit it.  
  
"Hey the forest looks different," Missy said, taking in their surroundings.  
  
"Tell me about it. It seems so strange. And look what my watch is doing," Becky held out her wrist for Missy to see.  
  
"That's really strange," Missy said. "But I think we should get going. Our parents are probably wondering what's happened to us."  
  
"Or what's happened to all the food we have," Becky gestured to one of the suitcases which was packed to the brim with cooked food and cans and cans of Coke.  
  
"Out of spite, we should eat everything," Missy said, with an evil glimmer in her eyes.  
  
"We should but let's not," Becky said. "I'm peckish though."  
  
"Yeah," Missy said and Becky dug two sandwiches out of a bag and they started walking and eating.  
  
"Ooh wait!" Becky cried suddenly. 'I left a bag."  
  
They hurried back and they saw something that made them stop in their tracks.  
  
"Are those chairs?" Missy asked, shocked.  
  
All Becky could do was shrug. "What are chairs doing in the middle of a deserted forest?"  
  
"This is too freaky!" Missy said. "I wish I'd gone with them to the house."  
  
"Me too. Suddenly seeming soaked to the bone is not such a bad idea," Becky shivered, glancing around nervously. "This doesn't look familiar at ALL."  
  
"You know, maybe we should go ask those people for some help," Missy indicated to the chairs. "Maybe they could tell us how to get out of these woods."  
  
"Are you sure those are chairs?" Becky asked, gazing doubtfully at them. "They could just be really big rocks.  
  
"What've we got to lose?" Missy asked and without another word headed off towards the ring of chairs.  
  
"We could just get more lost but don't listen to me," Becky muttered under her breath but followed her cousin. The rest hadn't helped them at all and they seemed to be even more tired than before. But nevertheless they trudged on and finally the ring of chairs came into perfect view.  
  
Suddenly Becky let out a little squeal and stumbled forward. Without warning her arm shot out and grabbed Missy's shirt and the cousins went flying into the center of the ring. 


	3. Chapter 2: In The Council of Elrondor so...

A\N: Hey! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story. Read and review for more craziness ;) I still don't own anything except me, myself and this story.  
  
Chapter 2: In The Council of Elrond.or so you think.  
  
Becky tossed a few suitcases and duffel bags off of her and got hesitantly to her feet.  
  
She looked down for Missy and saw her struggling out from under a pile of suitcases.  
  
Mere inches away sat a pedestal with a gleaming golden ring sitting atop it.  
  
"Ooh Missy. You could have been splattered," Becky said and went to help unearth her cousin. "There's, like, this pedestal there and this pretty, pretty ringy. Ooh precioussssssssssssssss."  
  
"What did you say?" a voice asked and Becky turned in surprise.  
  
She did a double take and her jaw dropped.  
  
All the people that had been sitting in the chairs were now standing and she could see their faces perfectly.  
  
This looked exactly like Elrond's Secret Council from the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.  
  
She glanced around at all the faces, scanning them carefully.  
  
There was Aragorn dressed in those green velvety robe-y-thingies and looking a bit gorgeously stunned. There was Boromir looking completely lost (but still quite cute) and Elrond (who has spoken) was totally giving them the candy cane eyebrow. Gimli was staring at them eyes wide and Gandalf was expressionless.  
  
Frodo had been about to sit in his chair but now he hovered right over it looking all hobbity.  
  
And. there was her Leggy; one perfect eyebrow lifted just enough to show he was startled.  
  
Becky just stared, mouth agape and eyes wide at the GORGEOUS tall, blond haired crystal blue eyed Elf that stood before her.  
  
This was really Elrond's secret council!!!  
  
She let loose an ear splitting, glass shattering, earthquake bringing scream which caused all the elves to cower, gripping their ears.  
  
"It's LEGGY!" Becky screeched and dove at him, knocking him off his feet and the two went sprawling. "I can't believe it's YOU!!!"  
  
She began smothering him with kisses and hugs as Legolas struggled to his feet.  
  
"Hello," the confused but ever polite Elf said. "I am Legolas. Who are you?"  
  
The only reply the Elf got was loud fan girl screaming.  
  
"OMYGOSH! Leggy!" Becky screeched. "I wonder if it really is Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, Son of King Thranduil."  
  
"My lady, how do you know my name yet I know nothing of you?" Legolas asked, a bit taken aback that she knew who he was.  
  
"He called me a lady! A LADY!" Becky screeched. "I wonder."  
  
Becky reached up and pulled on his left ear.  
  
Legolas grimaced in pain and tried even harder to get away from Becky.  
  
"Missy, Missy. Look it's LEGGY!" Becky called.  
  
Missy had finally gotten out from under those suitcases and stood gaping at her surroundings.  
  
"Where are we?" Missy asked, confused.  
  
"You are in Rivendell," Elrond said, with a slight scowl. "Who are you?"  
  
"Rivendell?" Missy repeated and then realized what he had said. "RIVENDELL? You mean the Elven Rivendell???"  
  
"Yes," Elrond put a hand to his forehead, his eyebrows nearly up to his hairline. "I ask again, who are you?"  
  
"Oh. I'm-" Missy trailed off when she suddenly noticed someone who had remained so still and silent that she had not seen him before.  
  
"Oh my, oh my, oh my," was all Missy could say. Aragorn, son of Arathorn strode over to Legolas and Becky. Boromir followed him.  
  
"Oh Leggykins I love you so much! I love you forever. You're sooooooooo hot and beautiful and gorgeous and breathtaking. Will you marry me? Please tell me you'll marry me! I lov-Hey what're you doing?" Becky cried for Aragorn and Boromir had each taken an arm and was towing her away from Legolas.  
  
"OMYGOSH!!" Becky let out a loud fan girl scream and wrapped her arms around Aragorn.  
  
"Missy look who it is! Missy? Missy?" Becky cried.  
  
Her cousin had completely zoned out and was staring with glazed eyes at Aragorn.  
  
Suddenly Becky let go of Aragorn and backed as far away as she possibly could.  
  
"Eww," Becky wrinkled her nose. "Haven't you ever heard of shampoo and soap? Or perfume? Yuck!"  
  
She pulled her Victoria's Secret Garden Fragrant Body Splash in Strawberries and Champagne and ran around Aragorn, spraying him from head to foot.  
  
Aragorn doubled over coughing and Becky now lunged at Boromir.  
  
"Ooh! I'm sooooooooo sorry. I'm really, really, really, really sorry!"  
  
She burst into floods of tears and poor Boromir just blinked.  
  
"Why are you sorry?" he dared to ask.  
  
"Cause you're gonna die. Die! Die! DIEeee!" Becky finally let go of Boromir to pull a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose loudly. "Wahhh!"  
  
Boromir backed away uncomfortably and returned to his seat.  
  
"Are you alright?" Legolas asked, hurrying over to Aragorn who was now lying on his back, still coughing loudly.  
  
"Oh Leggy! You're soooo sweet!" Becky screeched and began to run in his direction but Missy, who had come back to her senses, grabbed her by the back of her shirt.  
  
"You know Legolas, if it really is you, you should have run when you had the chance," Missy said, struggling to restrain Becky who was fighting valiantly.  
  
"What are we doing here?" Becky asked suddenly, stopping struggling.  
  
"Yeah what are we doing here?" Missy said.  
  
"I'm sure we would all like to know," said Elrond looking stressed out. "Perhaps after you've rested and had a meal, you will tell us the tale. Perhaps also your names. We are in the middle of a very important council. My daughter shall get you some rooms."  
  
As if on a cue, Arwen appeared at the edge of the circle.  
  
Aragorn suddenly stopped choking to death and smiled at Arwen.  
  
The two smiled lovey-dovingly at each other till Becky made a gagging noise which made everyone turn to stare at her. Including the lovebirds.  
  
"You two are sickening and hopeless. You make me wanna poke my eyes out with spoons!" Becky yelled at them. "You should listen to your father. Stay away from Ara-Hot Ranger Dude."  
  
Luckily Becky had caught herself in time. Couldn't go giving away Leggy's second line.  
  
"Did you say council?" Missy said, eyes wide, realizing what Elrond had said.  
  
"Yes he did! We're in Elrond's Secret Council," Becky said.  
  
"No way!" Missy said. "You're lying. How could we possibly be in Middle Earth?"  
  
"I don't know. We really shouldn't have taken that shortcut through the woods. Never trust a Missy," Becky glared at her cousin.  
  
"You are actually in fact in Middle Earth. In Rivendell as I said before," Elrond said, beginning to pull out strands of his hair.  
  
The cousins let out loud fan girl screams, grabbed each other's hands and began jumping up and down.  
  
"I love this part! I'm so staying!" Becky said.  
  
"Me too!" and they let loose another round of fan girl screeching.  
  
"I am sorry," Elrond said, his left eye visibly twitching and a vein in his forehead began jumping like a crazy bunny. "But this is a secret council."  
  
"Like I care. Leggypoo is here and so am I!" Becky said, calming down. She grinned maniacally across the council at Legolas who backed further away in his seat.  
  
"Well if you are going to stay may we at least know your names?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Ooh. I'm sorry. We must've totally freaked you guys out by calling you'll by your real names and you totally don't know us," Becky said. "Okay. Whole circle of people, I'm Becky and that's my cousin Missy."  
  
"What kind of names are those?" Boromir asked.  
  
"What kind of a name is Boromir?" Becky shot back. "And Faramir?"  
  
"Whoops!" Becky clamped a hand over her mouth as Boromir gazed at her in shock.  
  
Elrond opened his mouth to utter some very nasty curses in Elvish that his mommy would have smacked him across the head for but Becky cut him off thinking he was going to start introducing people.  
  
"But don't worry everybody. I already know everyone's names," Becky said. "That's Strider the Ranger over there," Becky pointed at Aragorn who was lost in Arwen's eyes but his head snapped around when he heard his names. "He has many other's but I'm not gonna say them now. Gimli, son of Glóin of the Misty Mountains. Boromir, brother of Faramir, Son of the Lord Denethor. That pesky dark haired girl over there is Arwen Undómiel, the Evenstar of her people. Blecch. How the heck did that happen? And there's Frodo Baggins of the Shire. Ain't he one of the cutest little hobbitses? Ooh and Gandalf the Grey! Do a trick for me Gandalfy! Pull a bunny out of your beard! And you are Lord Elrond Halfelven."  
  
Becky finished completely out of breath and a whole circle of shocked faces gaped back at her but she didn't seem to notice.  
  
"Anyhoo, chop chop. Let's get on with this council," Becky said clapping her hands together. "Hot Ranger Dude, get your greasy butt over here and Arwen go AWAY!"  
  
"Hey I'm not going anywhere. I can stay here if I want. Can't I Daddy?" Arwen said, putting her hands on her hips. "Daddy, why didn't you ask me to be at the council? Huh, Daddy?"  
  
"You will go away because I'm the author!" Becky yelled at her. "Now hightail your Hot Ranger Dude-stealing, Asfaloth-stealing, Glorfindel- moment-of-glory-stealing booty outta here!"  
  
"Yes Ma'am," Arwen took off like the Nazgûl were after her.  
  
"You go Becky!" Missy said and the two cousins began a victory dance in the middle of the council.  
  
"Yeah, go Missy it's your birthday!" Becky said, now bouncing up and down like a jackrabbit on her heels.  
  
"Please.leave. Please.I beg you.go.go.go!" Elrond begged.  
  
"Touché," Missy said, rolling her eyes. "Dude, you need to lighten up on the coffee aight?"  
  
"Oh my gosh, Missy. You totally spoke French there. Do you know Orlando Bloom can speak fluent French?" Becky said and with that she marched over to the now seated Legolas and plopped into his lap. "Yes he can speak fluent French and he was born on January 13th, 1977-" and she broke off into a full rant of Orlando Bloom rattling off his biography, all the while stroking the horrified Legolas' hair. "Oooohhh," Missy said, seeing Aragorn who had taken his seat. She raced over to him and plopped herself in his lap. "Hi there."  
  
She wrapped her arms around the confused Ranger who remained perfectly still.  
  
"Hey! He's MINE," Arwen appeared again and glared daggers at Missy.  
  
"I don't see your name on him," Missy shot back.  
  
"Right there," Arwen grabbed Aragorn by the Evenstar around his neck and dragged him to his feet. (A\N: I don't think he wears the pendant in the movie under his robes. If anyone knows pleez tell me.)  
  
"See?" Arwen flipped the Evenstar over, choking Aragorn and pointed to a tiny A.U. written on the back.  
  
"See this!" Missy ripped off the pendant and ground it into powder with her heel.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Arwen squealed angrily. "I'm gonna get you for this, you-you-you HOBBIT!"  
  
Becky and Missy gasped in unison.  
  
"You didn't-" Missy said, shocked.  
  
"She did," Becky confirmed from Legolas' lap.  
  
Without another word Missy lunged at Arwen.  
  
And a catfight broke out then and there in the ring.  
  
Missy was kicking and clawing and hissing and Arwen was only calling for "Daddy!"  
  
Becky ran over to the aid of her cousin, reluctantly leaving Legolas' lap.  
  
She tugged Arwen's hair and she let out a murderous shriek.  
  
Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas came over and tried unsuccessfully to tow away the girls but they paid no attention to them.  
  
Suddenly Legolas leaped aside but he was too late. Arwen had accidentally kicked him in the knee.  
  
"You little--," Becky said and promptly burst into a string of Elvish and English curses. "Rebecca!" Missy chided when she heard the English pieces.  
  
"How dare you kick my $$@%%** Prince of Mirkwood!" Becky said, finishing because she was now out of breath.  
  
Arwen had dozed off on the ground had her thumb in her mouth and was snoring lightly.  
  
Boromir and Aragorn burst into loud applause but quickly stopped when Lord Elrond shot them a murderous look.  
  
"That's ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! GET OUT! GET OUTTTTT!" Elrond screamed at them. He began doing the freaky thing Galadriel had done in Lothlórien. He turned blue and the earth actually began to tremble. "You will get out of my council. You will be allowed to stay in my city as long as you like. Now will you just LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE! ALL OF YOU LEAVE. JUST GO. I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW!"  
  
The whole council stared in open-mouthed awe at Elrond who had turned back to his normal color and was breathing heavily.  
  
"Dude you like, need to like, totally lighten up. Sheesh. If you wanted us to leave why didn't you just say so?" Becky asked. "C'mon Leggy."  
  
She tried to grab Legolas' arm but he'd already disappeared and was quickly followed by Aragorn, Boromir and most of the council.  
  
Merry, Pippin and Sam had come out from their various hiding places and had assembled around Frodo and Gandalf.  
  
Elrond had resumed thumping his head on the pedestal when Frodo quickly grabbed the ring and slid it back into his pocket and Arwen was still fast asleep.  
  
The cousins shrugged and grabbing their suitcases they headed off. ~~*~~ I do not own Victoria's Secret Garden Fragrant Body Splash in Strawberries and Champagne. I do not own the idea or the company. I do own a bottle of the spray though ( 


	4. Chapter 3: In Which Elrond has a Facemas...

Chapter 3: In Which Elrond has a Facemask and Aragorn is Kidnapped????  
  
"La dee dee la dee da la la la la la!" a voice echoed through the halls of the House Of  
  
Lord Elrond causing the entire of Rivendell to cower in pain. "La la la la la."  
  
The singer was no other than Becky who had just returned from a nice long bath in a stream.  
  
She skipped down the hall which was a bit difficult for one wearing platform shoes but she was so darn happy.  
  
She saw Missy emerging from her room, dressed in her favorite red dress.  
  
"Hi cousin dearest!" Becky called and skipped happily over to her cousin. "Where's Hot Ranger Dude?"  
  
"Why are we calling him Hot Ranger Dude? Isn't his name Ara-" Becky had slapped her hand over Missy's mouth.  
  
"Shhh. We don't know who else can hear us," Becky looked around, shifty- eyed. "Where's Leggykins?" Missy asked.  
  
"Probably off brushing his long golden hair," Becky said, eyes glazing over and Missy rolled her eyes knowing better than to have asked. "You know what? Let's go find him."  
  
Becky skipped off down the hallway and promptly began throwing open doors left, right and center.  
  
Missy giggled to herself but trotted after her cousin.  
  
Missy flung open a door and let out a horrified shriek.  
  
Lord Elrond was sitting in his bedroom, a blue facemask on. He was dressed in a purple bathrobe and pink bunny slippers.  
  
"Hey Elrondie. Decided to try the mask huh?" Becky said, skipping into his room like they were old friends.  
  
Elrond cringed at the name 'Elrondie' and looked like he wanted to run away but instead he said, "Yeah, it's a bit sticky but."  
  
"Hey! Isn't that my blue corn facemask?!!!" Missy said, eying the jar he had in his hand.  
  
"Oops," Becky blushed and looked down at her feet. It was then Missy realized Becky was wearing her blue dress.  
  
"And that's MY dress," Missy said.  
  
"Oops," Becky repeated. Missy looked like she was about to strangle her when Aragorn, Legolas and Arwen appeared in the doorway.  
  
"We heard someone scream and became concerned," Aragorn said and then gaped at Elrond in shock.  
  
Legolas just lifted an eyebrow again and Arwen was blinking rapidly.  
  
"Daddy?" was all she could say.  
  
"Good Lord boy. Don't you do anything but lift that eyebrow?" Missy asked, irritated. "That's all you ever do besides look hotly lost."  
  
"Hey! Don't insult the merchandise!" Becky glared at her cousin then bounced over to Legolas. "Hiiiiiiiiii."  
  
The Elf looked horrified but tried his best to smile.  
  
"Hello," he greeted her, fighting the great urge to run and climb up a tree and stay there forever. "Sut naa lle?" He had lapsed into Elvish. He usually spoke in a mixture of Common and Elvish but since he'd reached Rivendell he had been conversing in Elvish.  
  
"Oh I'm fine. Thanks for asking darling," Becky dove at him and hugged him tightly.  
  
"How come we just understood what he said?" Missy asked.  
  
"This is part Mary-Sue. We know these things," Becky said.  
  
"Riiiiight," was all Missy said.  
  
"My lady. May I ask you something?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Sure, dahling. Anything you want," Becky grinned up at him. Legolas overpowered the urge to run and asked, "I have not ever seen you before in all my lifetime so how do you know my full name, my proper title? That question has been plaguing my mind since we've met."  
  
"Doesn't everyone know who you are?" Becky asked looking at Missy for agreement.  
  
She nodded, suddenly being in a very good mood as Aragorn was in the room.  
  
"Of course. I wasn't the only screaming one in the cinema," Becky said.  
  
"Cee-ni-ma? What is this cee-ni-ma you speak of?" Aragorn asked, looking lost.  
  
Arwen finally broke down into hysterical laughter and began rolling on the floor.  
  
"Daddy you look ridiculous. What's wrong with your clothes and that thing on your face?" Arwen pounded the floor and giggled louder.  
  
"A cinema is somewhere you go to see a movie," Becky explained patiently to Aragorn.  
  
"Moo-vee?" Aragorn repeated looking even more lost than he did before.  
  
"Oh right. These things weren't invented yet," Becky said. "Silly me."  
  
Aragorn, Legolas and Elrond stared at her as if she had gone mad.  
  
"Alright then," Lord Elrond said. "Now if you people would kindly leave my room I need to prepare for the feast and I suggest you do so too." Elrondie had been so nice and had decided to throw a feast in honor of Missy and Becky.  
  
"Change?" Becky said. "I'm going just like this. Maybe need to put on a little makeup but that's it."  
  
Everyone including Arwen who had finally stopped laughing looked at her in shock.  
  
"But you're not decent. What is that strange garb you are wearing?" Legolas asked.  
  
"It's called a dress, Leggy," Becky said. "And there's nothing wrong with it. This is considered a decent length where I come from."  
  
And she was right for the dress rested just in the middle of her knees.  
  
"It is so short. You could not possibly be seen in public dressed like that," Aragorn said. "Her too."  
  
He gestured at Missy who pulled her red dress down defensively.  
  
"Hey! I like this dress," she said indignantly.  
  
"And you're one to talk. Look at the state of your hair, man," Becky said.  
  
"What's wrong with my hair?" Aragorn ruffled his greasy hair lovingly. "Don't I look rugged?"  
  
"Yeah. Ruggedly dirty," Legolas muttered to Arwen and they began snickering. Luckily Becky didn't notice or she'd have tried to rip Arwen limb-from-limb but she was too busy with that little yellow light bulb over her head.  
  
Missy met her eyes and Becky nodded slightly.  
  
Without warning she dove at Aragorn. She latched onto his arm and Missy took the other.  
  
Together the two cousins towed the Ranger who was struggling to get loose (though he couldn't because we are 5\600000000 of a Mary-Sue and we have extraordinary strength() through the halls of The House Of Elrond with Legolas, Arwen and Elrond who was still covered in blue facemask, at their heels.  
  
Missy made a detour into their rooms and came back clutching a large bag.  
  
"Oh no. Please what are you going to do to me?" Aragorn whimpered, very much unlike himself. "It's not.no you wouldn't.you couldn't.nooooo!!!!"  
  
All he had to do was look at Becky and Missy's faces and he knew his doom had come.  
  
"No. Please I beg of you," Aragorn struggled to get down on his knees. "I beg you on bended knees."  
  
"No. Sorry Hot Ranger Dude whose name I really know but I ain't gonna say nothing now," Becky said, dragging him through the front doors.  
  
Boromir, Gimli, Gandalf and the hobbits soon joined them.  
  
"What's going on here?" Gandalf asked, looking from Becky and Missy who was clutching Aragorn, Arwen and Legolas who were STILL snickering and Elrond in his blue facemask.  
  
"Outta the way, Gandalfy. Wouldn't wanna fall into shadow before your time now would you?" Missy said but quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oops."  
  
"What did you say?" Gandalf said, drawing up to his full height.  
  
"She said nothing. C'mon cousin," Becky towed Aragorn faster until they reached their destination: a small patch of hedges hiding a long flight of stairs.  
  
"Yep. We're here," Becky said and she and Missy disappeared behind the bushes with Aragorn. "Now you will stay here okay?" ~~*~~ Translations: Sut naa lle?-How are you? 


	5. Chapter 4: How Aragorn Came To Look Sort...

The name Hot Ranger Dude belongs to ME ME ME! I wish the person did but sadly he belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
Chapter 4: How Aragorn Came to Look (Sorta) Clean in the Council Of Elrond  
  
After the cousins disappeared everyone just stood around, trying to look like they were doing something.  
  
"Lord Elrond I think you should go wash off your face," Legolas offered helpfully, indicating Elrond's blue face. "I think that you may scare some of your people before the sun is set."  
  
And what Legolas was saying was true for several elves had seen Elrond as they raced through the halls, and all of them had fainted quite dramatically.  
  
"Quite right. But I think I shall remain here until those girls I return. I really do not want to leave Estel alone with them," Elrond said, worriedly glancing over the hedges.  
  
"Why don't we go after them?" Boromir suggested. "One of them is like a hobbit. She is quite short."  
  
All four hobbits glared daggers at him.  
  
"What? It was just an observation," Boromir shrugged. "And the other one is wearing these.odd shoes. They are very high and I doubt she would have gotten far either."  
  
"True what Boromir is saying. Let us follow them," Gandalf said and the yet- to-be-fellowship-minus-one-add-two raced after them.  
  
"What are they going to do to him?" Frodo asked.  
  
"I do not even want to think, young hobbit," Legolas called over his shoulder as he nimbly leapt down step after step.  
  
He had barely known those two girls for a day and although they seemed quite harmless they acted a bit insane. Scratch that. They were altogether insane. Take for example, the younger but taller (A\N: mwahaha) girl had pounced on him the moment they'd stumbled into Lord Elrond's council and had addressed him by his full title after he'd given only his first name. And then she'd plopped down on his lap and had begun to talk about someone named Orlando Bloom?  
  
Plus she'd stroked his blond hair and Legolas had been quite startled by that. He didn't want human hands ruining his lovely hair. After all he'd washed it only an hour before the council and then he'd just washed it again.  
  
His lovely hair. He patted his hair lovingly ignoring the weird glances he was getting from the yet-to-be-fellowship-minus-one-add-two-minus-one.  
  
And what were those girls' names again? He had heard the younger one introduce them to Lord Elrond that her name was Becky and the other was Missy but what kind of names were those? Those certainly could not be their proper names. But he had nothing else to call them besides those weird names and 'my lady' but those didn't seem too proper for those girls.  
  
Finally they all reached panting, except for Legolas, Arwen and Elrond, the bottom of the stairs which broke off into a small stretch of sand and then a small crystal blue pool.  
  
A little way down was a path of stepping-stones across the pool.  
  
"Ooh." the Elves said in unison and dashed across the sand to the edge of the pool. There Arwen proceeded to pull out the sparkly barrette from her hair and fluff out her hair.  
  
Legolas neatened the Elvish braids that hung behind his ears and smoothened his already-perfect-not-a-strand-outta-place hair.  
  
Elrond rearranged his little gold circlet and took his pinky finger and began shaping out his eyebrows.  
  
"Must look like candy canes. Must look like candy canes," he kept repeating.  
  
"Look! Strider!" Frodo called and pointed across the pool and sure enough there was Aragorn, tied to a tree and he was soaking wet. He was also gagged. He looked a bit drowsy but was fighting it as best as he could. It seemed that Becky's body spray had had a serious effect on him and he was still clearly recuperating. The two girls were sitting on two stones not too far away from him digging through their bag.  
  
The girls looked up when they heard Frodo call.  
  
"Didn't I tell you boys to stay up there?" Becky asked, getting to her feet. She brandished two bottles in her hands.  
  
"Ahem," Arwen pushed her hair back into the sparkly barrette and glared across the pool at Becky.  
  
"And Elf-chick," Becky corrected.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" Elrond asked, hurrying forward.  
  
"Nothing," Missy said, untying Aragorn from the tree and bringing him to the edge of the pool.  
  
The cousins tossed him in headfirst and he hit the water with a splash, soaking everyone.  
  
"Hey! Do you have any idea how long I had to comb my hair to get it like this?" Boromir asked, touching his hair that now hung limply and wet around his face.  
  
"Three hours I tell you. Three!"  
  
Legolas began shaking out like a dog and suddenly he was dry again.  
  
He proceeded to smoothen back down his long blond hair and rearrange it.  
  
Becky sighed dreamily until Missy poked her and the two dragged Aragorn to his knees in the water.  
  
Missy pulled out the gag from Aragorn's mouth and before he had a chance to breath ducked his head under the water.  
  
Becky popped opened the bottle and some thick gooey purple substance fell into the palm of her hand.  
  
"Let my man go!" Arwen said and began leaping across the stones to get to him.  
  
"Ooh. Where the heck did that come from?"  
  
The yet-to-be-fellowship-minus-one-add-one ran after her.  
  
They rushed to Aragorn's aid but Becky and Missy had already begun working the purple gooey substance into his hair.  
  
"No!!" Aragorn sputtered, now fully awake, writhing in their grasps, soaking them with water. "Please no!"  
  
"Knew we shouldn't have fully dumped him in those two times," Missy said.  
  
"I didn't throw him in the first time," Becky said with wide innocent eyes. "I tripped on a stone and kinda let him go. So did you."  
  
"I thought we'd stopped," Missy said, defensively.  
  
"Whatever. Time to wash out this round," Becky said and dunked Aragorn's head under the water.  
  
The once blue water turned purple and then an odd gray color.  
  
"What's that?" Missy asked.  
  
"All the grease in his hair," Becky said.  
  
For now it had become obvious what the cousins had done to him.  
  
They had done one of the two things Aragorn hated most: washing his hair.  
  
The yet-to-be-fellowship-minus-one-add-two stood gaping as the cousins and Aragorn who had given up fighting and was just moaning pitifully.  
  
"Think we should give it a second wash?" Missy asked, touching Aragorn's once greasy and slimy (^__^) hair but it was now soft and smelling like bouquets of flowers.  
  
"Yeah and then for the conditioner," Becky said and she and Missy got to work scrubbing in a second round of shampoo.  
  
They ducked him under again and he came out hissing and moaning. "My eyes!"  
  
"You should've closed them," Missy said and lathered the conditioner into her hand.  
  
They rubbed into Aragorn's hair and then they just dragged him back onto the sandy shore.  
  
The cousins undid his restraints and they plopped down, exhausted on the rocks.  
  
And Aragorn just poked miserably at his hair.  
  
"Don't play with it," Becky snapped at Aragorn who immediately put down his hand.  
  
"The conditioner needs to set and stay for awhile then we'll wash it out," Becky continued more gently but the Ranger looked even more frazzled.  
  
"Melamin?" Arwen took his hand and murmured into his ear. "What is wrong?"  
  
Becky and Missy, unknown to each other, began pantomiming that they were throwing up.  
  
"There is a lovely smell on the air," Legolas said, leaning forward with his pretty little nose in the air.  
  
Becky sighed dreamily and launched herself at him.  
  
"That is the scent of Hot Ranger Dude's shampoo," Becky said, hugging the life out of the poor Elf.  
  
"Becky, don't confuse him even more. Poor thing's probably never even heard of shampoo," Missy scolded.  
  
"Shampoo? Of course I have heard of shampoo," Legolas said, staring at Missy as if she was mad. (A\N: Which she is!!! *Gets knocked on head with piece of wood by Missy*) "'Tis the best thing ever invented. Oh shampooooooooooooooo."  
  
Legolas sighed and gazed at his long blond hair. Missy was sure he would've stroked it except for the fact that Becky had both his arms pinned firmly to his side.  
  
"Okay Becky I think you should let him go now," Missy said coming to the aid of Legolas.  
  
She grabbed the back of Becky's dress and pulled her away from Legolas who backed as far away as he possibly could to Aragorn's side.  
  
"How is he?" Legolas asked Arwen softly.  
  
She had been muttering sweet Elvish nothings into his ear and patting his hand because she could do nothing more as 'Daddy dearest' was shooting them a dangerous look.  
  
"It does not look so good," Arwen said.  
  
"Oh will the Ranger stop being such a baby? Sheesh," Becky said, stalking up to them and shoving Arwen quite roughly and shifted Legolas aside gently.  
  
"I think the conditioner has set enough," Becky said. She motioned Missy over and the cousins gently grabbed Aragorn and hauled him to the edge of the water.  
  
"Don't worry. You're going to be alright," Missy said, trying to comfort the Ranger who had begun to whimper.  
  
"C'mon my little future King of Gondor, Aragorn son of Arathorn. Elessar," Becky hissed in his ear before she quite realized what she was doing.  
  
Aragorn looked at her in surprise. The only people that knew what he was were Legolas, Gandalf, Elrond and Arwen. Nobody else could possibly know. Could they?  
  
Becky smiled and Aragorn, still wondering, was tossed headfirst back into the water.  
  
They tugged him back to the surface and washed out the conditioner.  
  
"Ooh. Shiny," Frodo said as they dragged Aragorn back up unto the shore and placed him at the base of a large tree. He gaped at Aragorn's hair.  
  
"Doesn't he look pretty?" Becky cooed, patting Aragorn's head.  
  
"Must trust them. Must trust fangirls," Aragorn kept repeating to himself.  
  
"Okay Missy let's get to work," Becky said, digging through the sack.  
  
She produced a small thing with an odd shape. It was spattered with spots and it had a black background while the spots were brown.  
  
She pressed something on it and it whirred to life.  
  
The yet-to-be-fellowship-add-two jumped in surprise.  
  
Gandalf's hand tightened around his staff, Boromir unsheathed his sword, Aragorn pulled a knife out of his robes and Legolas pulled out his bow and arrows from the Valar knows where. The hobbits all drew their little swords.  
  
"Where the heck were those?" Missy asked gaping at them. Especially at the quite sharp dagger Aragorn had pulled out.  
  
"I never go anywhere unarmed," said Legolas gazing at the thing Becky held. What was that strange wizardry? He had never seen anything like it before.  
  
"Oh this," Becky said, waving the thing and everyone took a step back. "This my boys and Elf-Chick is a hairdryer."  
  
"A what?" Sam said.  
  
"It's a hairdryer," Becky repeated. "Like, duh. You use it to dry your hair."  
  
She gestured to Missy who held Aragorn down against the tree.  
  
Becky pulled out a brush from the bag and began to brush Aragorn's hair.  
  
"Cousin dearest it's stuck!" Becky exclaimed, tugging furiously at the brush handle that refused to come out from Aragorn's hair.  
  
"We washed his hair but still it's in serious need of brushing," Missy said, letting go of Aragorn and began tugging at the handle.  
  
Together the cousins unearthed the brush and they began to slowly brush out Aragorn's hair.  
  
"It's alright Estel," Becky said. "It's just a brush. Gonna brush your hair nicely, okay? Gonna make it pretty but not as pretty as Leggy's." She winked at Legolas who looked horrified.  
  
"How do you do that?" Arwen asked. "I've been trying to get him that still since he was BORN to brush and wash his hair."  
  
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of-" Becky immediately clamped both hands over her mouth. "What I meant to say was it's a gift that I possess."  
  
"Right," everyone eyed her strangely.  
  
"I think it's time we blow dry," Missy said, holding up the blow dryer.  
  
"Yep I think so too," Becky went over to the edge of the pool and filled a little silver bowl she'd filched from Elrond's room. She got a towel and the brush and the two girls closed around Aragorn who despite himself began to scream.  
  
*** Six hours later.  
  
The hobbits were sitting at the edge of the pond, eating sausages; Boromir had fallen asleep with his hair in the water (tehehee); Legolas, Arwen and Elrond were trading beauty secrets; Gimli was sharpening his axe on a rock much to the distaste of Elrond and Gandalf was sitting smoking his pipe when the two girls finally moved away from Aragorn.  
  
"I present to you the new and improved Strider," Becky said, gesturing over her shoulder and a figure came forward.  
  
The yet-to-be-fellowship-add-two-minus-one gasped simultaneously.  
  
The hobbits stopped eating *gasp*, Boromir woke up to discover he had a head cold, Gimli dropped the axe on his foot, Gandalf stopped smoking his pipe and Legolas blinked.  
  
Arwen and Elrond stopped talking about cucumbers and stared.  
  
A tall man with glossy black hair that fell in slight waves to his shoulder stood before them.  
  
A nervous smile broke out across his face.  
  
"What do you think?" he asked.  
  
"Estel?" Elrond asked, blinking in amazement.  
  
"Yes?" Aragorn said. "It is I."  
  
"By the Valar, he's almost as clean as I am!" Legolas exclaimed gazing in shock at Aragorn.  
  
For the Ranger was almost as clean as Legolas. His hair was brushed, blow- dried and washed, his face was clean (well as clean as you can get if all you have with you is face cleansing cloths and a bowl of water) and his hands were clean. There was absolutely no dirt on his hands save for the little bit under his fingernails that were way too far for Becky to reach.  
  
"Melamin!" Arwen ran forward and embraced him. "You look wonderful."  
  
Missy let out a loud wail which made everyone turn to look at her oddly.  
  
"What?" Becky asked. "Doesn't he look positively hot-ter?"  
  
"I liked him better dirty," Missy sniffled. "I mean he is still hot clean but he was the rugged dirty ranger not the clean ranger!"  
  
Missy burst into full-fledged tears and began to trumpet her nose in a tissue.  
  
Aragorn made his way over to her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder.  
  
"Did you not wish for me to look like this.Missy?" he said awkwardly.  
  
"Well yeah because you know I thought you'd look even better," Missy sniffled. "But you don't!!!! I liked you much more when you were dirty. You're meant to be dirty!"  
  
The Ranger looked a bit lost but then an idea struck him and he leaned over and whispered something into Missy's ear.  
  
Missy smiled slowly and then broke out into a full-fledged grin. She launched herself at Aragorn and hugged him tight.  
  
"Awww. Group hug," Becky hugged Aragorn.  
  
"Ahem. That is my dirty-Oops sorry. Clean man," Arwen said, thumping her foot.  
  
"Hello honey. He's gonna l-" Becky trailed off. "Whoopsy. We don't see that till The Two Towers. But anyway he doesn't really.um.thing because he's in the Return of The King." Everyone looked at her strangely.  
  
"Becky I think you should shut up now," Missy said.  
  
"Yeah I agree. Now since Ranger Dude is clean can we get to the feast part?" Becky said. "I'm hungryyyyyy."  
  
"If you insist," Elrond said, heading towards the flight of stairs. "Come. Legolas and Arwen, we shall discuss. beauty later."  
  
"Ooh," Becky said, letting go of Aragorn and hooking onto Legolas' arm. "You're beautiful enough. You don't need beauty secrets but if you want I can tell you EVERYTHING I know."  
  
Out of nowhere a huge book appeared in Becky's free hand nearly toppling her over.  
  
On the cover in sparkly pink letters read "Becky's Beauty Book."  
  
"Ooh," Arwen appeared at Becky's side. "Pretty pink."  
  
"Yes so dears. Let's start with the basics for Elves: the hair. Now you know your hair has to be-" Becky droned on and on to the very interested Arwen and Legolas (who couldn't help but overhear) as they headed up the stairs.  
  
"Good Lord," Missy rolled her eyes and quickly followed. ~~*~~ Translations: Melamin-my love  
  
Well what do you think? Love, hate? Love, hate? Love, love, love? REVIEW pleez. Oh and A\N: I will be referring to Elrond and Arwen as Elves even though they are Half-Elves but it would be really annoying to type The Elf and two Half-Elves? Dontcha think? 


	6. Chapter 5: At The Feast Of Elrond

A\N: I don't own anything.  
  
Chapter 5: At the Feast of Elrond  
  
"Nooooooooo!!!!!!" a scream echoed throughout Rivendell. "No WAYYYY! NEVER!"  
  
There was only one person in the history of the universe that can scream like that and you guessed it. It was Becky.  
  
She was standing in Arwen's room with Missy and Arwen.  
  
"Try it on," Arwen said, holding out the white robe-y-dress thing.  
  
"No way. Yuck. I am NOT wearing that hideous thing," Becky backed as far away as possible.  
  
"Becky," Arwen said patiently. "Many important people are going to be at dinner.  
  
There are going to be Men, Dwarves and some Mirkwood Elves that came with Legolas present."  
  
"Soo. It's only Leggy I care to see," Becky said and she and Missy burst into loud giggling-screams. "Ooh my Leeeeeeeeeeeeegolas!"  
  
"Besides what's wrong with our clothes?" Becky asked, gesturing at her and Missy's jeans and T-shirts.  
  
"Please," Arwen said holding out the robe.  
  
"Noooooo," Becky said. "Hey do you know if Legolas has a girlfriend?"  
  
"A girlfriend?" Arwen repeated. "What is that?"  
  
"Betrothed, beloved?" Becky said, racking her brain for all other possible meanings of the word.  
  
"Well." Arwen said but caught the murderous glint in Becky's eyes. "If he had I wouldn't tell you."  
  
"Cool," Becky said. "And no I still won't wear those robes."  
  
Arwen rolled her eyes and sat gracefully on the bed. "You are hopeless. Fine. Go dressed like that."  
  
"C'mon let's go check on Elrondie," Becky said and the cousins raced giggling madly down the hall.  
  
Arwen sighed and quickly followed them.  
  
She found them bothering her father who had obviously been in the middle of dressing. "Ooh Elrondie. That mask did wonders," Missy said, so high up on her tiptoes in Elrond's face that she nearly toppled over. "You can keep it."  
  
"Thank you," Elrond said, jumping away from Missy. "Hello Arwen."  
  
"Come here Elrondie and lemme do your hair," Becky grabbed Elrond's arm and dragged him to sit on the bed. She picked up a brush out of nowhere and began to brush his hair.  
  
"Ooh we just looooove to brush people's hair don't we?" Missy said, pulling a brush once again out of nowhere and took a side of Elrond's hair to brush.  
  
"Arwen? Help Daddy please," Elrond begged.  
  
"They do brush hair very nice," Arwen said. "Look at Estel."  
  
"Why do you call Aragorn Estel?" Missy asked, conversationally.  
  
"It means hope in Elvish," Becky said before Elrond or Arwen could say anything.  
  
Arwen and Elrond exchanged looks.  
  
"Girls, I think we should have a little talk. I wanted to save this for later so that everyone else will hear but." Elrond trailed off.  
  
"Go on Elrondie," Becky said, putting down the brush and flopping onto the floor.  
  
Missy did the same and stared up expectantly at Elrond.  
  
"How do you know so much about us? About Elves? About Aragorn?" Elrond asked.  
  
"You are human and yet you know things that no normal human should."  
  
"I knew this would've come eventually," Missy said, sighing. "It all started-"  
  
"No. I would much rather we tell it to the whole Council," Becky said, cutting off Missy. "I'd rather tell it face to face with my Leggy."  
  
"And my Aragorn," Missy said.  
  
The two fangirls sighed together receiving a glare from Arwen.  
  
"Your Aragorn?" Arwen said, glaring at Missy.  
  
"Yes our Aragorn. We owns him yess we does," Becky said, lowering her voice and deepening it.  
  
Arwen and Elrond just stared in open-mouthed amazement.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Don't mind her," Missy said, gesturing at Becky. "She does that all the time these days."  
  
The Elves just blinked at her once again.  
  
Then it dawned on Becky.  
  
"Oh no. I'm not Gollum and I'm definitely not related to him," said Becky.  
  
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Minno!" Elrond called and Legolas stepped in. He was dressed in a flowing green robe and he almost seemed to be glowing.  
  
"'Quel undome," Legolas greeted Elrond and Arwen then stopped in his tracks when he saw Missy and Becky situated on the floor.  
  
"OMG! I love it when you speak Elvish," Becky sighed dreamily.  
  
"Hello," he said, immediately changing to Westron. No sense in having that crazy girl after him again.  
  
"Yes Legolas? I sense that you wish to speak to me about something," Elrond said.  
  
"I did. It is very important but we shall discuss at later. Perhaps tonight? It was best to be done at the feast last night or at the Council but I will announce at tonight at the other feast. Although I wished to speak with you about it privately first," Legolas said, glancing sideways at Becky and Missy who were both hanging on his every word.  
  
"Oh no Leggy darling. Go right ahead," Becky said, grinning much to the horror of Legolas. "I already know what you're gonna say."  
  
"You do?" was all Legolas could say.  
  
"Of course. At least I have a feeling what you're going to say," Becky said and plunged into a long rant before anyone could say anything. "You're going to tell Elrond about why you, the hot Prince of Mirkwood, came to Rivendell as a messenger from his father King Thranduil, instead of a real Elf messenger. The reason is that you've come to tell him that Gollum has escaped from Mirkwood. Isn't that right? Although it comes in the council."  
  
A flicker of surprise graced Legolas' features.  
  
"Well yes," he said. "I was going to say something like that but not quite in your manner of speaking."  
  
"Well Legolas you shall tell me in full detail at the feast. We should get going," Elrond said, putting on his circlet and heading for the door.  
  
He was closely followed by Arwen and Legolas who was trying to fend off Becky from clutching the sleeve of his robes.  
  
They arrive downstairs at Elrond's feast hall where everyone is seated.  
  
Elrond sat at the head of the table and gestured for Becky and Missy to sit further down on the table.  
  
They saw Legolas taking a seat next to Aragorn and the two girls made a mad dash and pulled two chairs into the middle of them: Becky on Legolas' right and Missy on Aragorn's left.  
  
"Hi Leggy!" Becky giggled and hugged him.  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes gracefully but said, "Hello again Becky."  
  
He gave Aragorn a pleading look but Aragorn just gave a little half smile.  
  
Missy dove at Aragorn and pulled him into a strangling hug and Legolas smirked at Aragorn.  
  
"Elrondie I'm hungggggggggrrrrryyyyyyy," Becky wailed, releasing Legolas and gazing rapturously at her plate. "Do you have any lembas? I have been DYING to try some."  
  
"Ooh lembas," Missy said. "What's lembas?"  
  
"Cousin dear have I taught you NOTHING? Lembas is Elvish waybread," Becky said.  
  
"There is no lembas at the moment," Arwen said shooting them a curious look. "But I shall see to it that some is made."  
  
"Aww. I was hoping you'd have some you know. I really wanna taste it. Because since in The Two Towers when Frodo and Sam were eating it, it looked really good and then Legolas in the special extended DVD of FOTR, which sadly I do not have, goes 'One bite could fill the stomach of a grown man'."  
  
Becky sighed dreamily and dropped her head onto the table.  
  
Everyone just looked at her until she finally lifted her head back up.  
  
"What?" Becky asked, glancing around. "What?"  
  
"I think someone's had a little too much pipeweed," Pippin whispered to Merry.  
  
"I do not do drugs. Yucky!" Becky said, making a face. "And neither should you little hobbitses."  
  
"Hey I'm not little. I'm twenty-nine," Pippin shot back.  
  
"You're still underage. The adult age of a hobbit is thirty-three and you're still four years away! MWAHAHAHA!" Becky giggled maniacally.  
  
"Lord Elrond I think you should feed her," Missy spoke up. "She gets.a bit insane if you don't feed her on time."  
  
"A bit insane?" Elrond said, lifting his eyebrows. But he clapped his hands together lightly and several Elves appeared bearing trays and trays of delicacies.  
  
"Ooh," Becky and Missy's eyes glazed over and they attacked the trays of food not knowing what they were eating. The four hobbits looked at each other, shrugged and dug in after them.  
  
Elrond sighed and as soon as an Elf had filled his cup with wine he drank it down and kept going at it.  
  
"Poor Daddy," Arwen eyed Elrond who had now reached his fifth draught.  
  
Boromir and Gimli were watching the girls and the hobbits in amazement while  
  
Legolas sat eating gracefully and watching them, his face expressionless.  
  
Aragorn's lips were twitching. He was struggling to overcome the desire to laugh.  
  
Gandalf looked like he wanted to smile but he saw the look on Elrond's face and hid the smile in his beard.  
  
Finally Becky and Missy sat back leaving the hobbits to finish ravage away at the food.  
  
"That was really good," Becky said, wiping her mouth daintily. "Ooh! Where are Elladan and Elrohir?"  
  
She looked around expectantly.  
  
"My sons will not be joining us tonight," Elrond said. "Nor at the Council tomorrow."  
  
"Dang. I really wanted to see them," Becky said, lower lip trembling. "From The Return Of The King's description they sound HOT!"  
  
"Hot?" Elrond repeated looking completely stunned and confused. "My sons are hot?"  
  
"Yes they're gorgeous and hot and fine but they can't touch my Leggy with a fifty-foot pole," Becky said, nodding like she'd actually seen Elladan and Elrohir face-to-face.  
  
"Oh well," Becky sighed. "I'll just wait for ROTK movie. I hope they're in it. December seventeenth is too far."  
  
"Oh well. I haven't seen The Two Towers so I know nothing," Missy said.  
  
"It was your OWN fault," Becky said. "If you hadn't been so moody and totally snapped at your FAVORITE cousin because she was talking about The Lord of The Rings and Legolas, maybe I would've invited you along."  
  
"What about the second time?" Missy asked.  
  
"I was still mad at you. Nobody insults my Elf. NO ONE," Becky's eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
"Why would I waste my breath on Legolas?" Missy shot back.  
  
By then the entire table was listening. Including Legolas who was a bit concerned. It sounded like him they were talking about! "How dare you!" Becky launched out of her seat at Missy.  
  
"I dare much!" Missy shouted back.  
  
"Hey!" Aragorn said, leaping out of his seat as the fighting cousins knocked it over.  
  
He grabbed the back of their dresses and pulled them apart.  
  
"Calm down!" Aragorn said.  
  
Everyone looked at them quite shocked as the cousins tried clawing at each other.  
  
"I can't! She insulted my Elf!" Becky glared at Missy.  
  
"Your Elf is blond!" Missy shot back.  
  
"AHHH! Elendil!" Becky tried to struggle free of Aragorn's tight grip.  
  
"What did you say?" Aragorn blinked at her.  
  
"Yes Dirty Ranger Dude, I know that's your war cry and everything but I can't help but borrow it!" Becky said. "You sound so cute when you say it."  
  
"Yes he does," Missy said and the two fangirls shared a sigh.  
  
Then they dove at each other again but this time they hugged.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Missy!" Becky sniffled.  
  
"Me too!" Missy said.  
  
The entire table just blinked.  
  
Elrond rolled his eyes and started in on his ninth draught.  
  
Missy pulled away from Becky and dove at Legolas.  
  
"I'm sorry Legolas! I'm sorry I insulted you, I'm sorry I called you blond even though." Missy reached up and grabbed a handful of Legolas' hair, pulling him down to her height. "It really looks like blond to me. Yep you're blond."  
  
"Aww!" Becky sighed. "Kodak moment. Where the heck is my camera?" ~~*~~ Yeah I know it ended a bit abruptly there but I hope you like it. Don't worry, they're going to find out exactly how we got to Middle-Earth. Even though poor Elrond and everyone else were supposed to find out in this chappy but don't worry, it'll come. EVENTUALLY. Review and maybe you'll get more. ;)  
  
Translations: 'Quel undome-Good evening Mwahaha. Prepare for more madness and craziness. LEGOLAS RULES! **blushes** Just needed to get that out. ARAGORN RULES TOO! EVERYONE RULES! P.S: Missy just read what I've written so far and I'm sure she thinks I'm officially crazy. GO ME! Someone should tell her she's crazy :P :P :P 


	7. Chapter 6: The Council of Elrond

Author's Sane Note: Thankies to Steph, Omnipotent Genghis Khan Sammid and all those who have reviewed but I haven't seen your names yet. Don't worry I'll thank you'll in the next chapter. Please, please review this is my first story.  
  
Author's Not so Sane Note: WHO DID IT? WHO? TELL ME RIGHT NOW: Who stole my other half of the Milky Way bar? Who took it? Grrrrrrrr... *Sees a Kit Kat bar* Ooh! More chocolate.  
  
Whoo hoo! You'll will finally see something you recognize from the movie (with minor changes teehheeee!!!)  
  
Neeway, I've failed two Science tests and avoided doing my English homework to get you this. Shh! Don't tell anyone. So you better appreciate *gets mean expression* also please REVIEW *smiles sweetly*.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own chocolate, Milky Way bars, Kit Kat bars, M&M's or any other type of candy mentioned in this fic. They all belong to their respective owners. I do NOT own the Lord of The Rings. Nor do I own Orlando Bloom *wahhhh!!!* but I do own some piccies of him :)  
  
Here it is at long-lasted. The fantastically long-awaited Chapter 6!!!!  
Chapter 6: The Council of Elrond  
  
Aragorn was walking down the hall on his way to Elrond's council when he heard footsteps coming from behind.  
  
He turned to see those two girls running after him, waving and giggling.  
  
"Hi Hot Ranger Dude. What's up, my future King of Gondor?" Becky said, skidding to a stop in front of him.  
  
"What's up?" Aragorn repeated, looking a little confused.  
  
"Nothing. We're bored," Missy said.  
  
"That's nice," Aragorn said, looking a bit lost. "But if you'll excuse me I must get to an important meeting."  
  
He cordially nodded at Becky and Missy and continued on his way shaking his head.  
  
Aragorn had gotten halfway down the hall when he realized those footsteps were still following.  
  
He turned to see Becky and Missy in mid-step. When they saw him turn around they froze.  
  
"Hi. I think we can pretty much guess where you're going," Becky said, coming up to him. "Elrond's Secret Council!"  
  
She grabbed his left arm and latched on tightly.  
  
"I am sorry but you cannot come with me," Aragorn said, gently trying to detach  
  
Becky's hand from his arm. "It is a secret council."  
  
"But I loooove Elrond's Secret Council. That scene just made my day," Becky said, lip trembling, eyes beginning to spout water.  
  
"You have to take me. Please. I get to see my Leggykins in action. Please, he's gonna defend you. PLEASE," Becky begged him, sobbing pitifully into his dark green robes (yep the same as yesterday).  
  
"Yeah and you're gonna sit there on your butt doing nothing really," Missy chimed in, clutching onto his right arm.  
  
"Actually no. He does say things and eventually he gets off his butt," Becky said, carrying on as if Aragorn wasn't there.  
  
"Oh cool," Missy said, hugging Aragorn. "!!"  
  
"Isn't it?" Becky hugged him too and sighed.  
  
"That is very nice but if you will excuse me I really must get going," Aragorn managed to shake off both girls and proceeded at a brisk walk down the hallway.  
  
He hadn't gone three steps before they pounced on him again.  
  
"Please darling Hot Ranger Dude. Please," Becky begged. "You can get dirty again if you want. I won't pounce on you and shampoo you. At least not until you become really unbearable."  
  
"That decision has already been made," Aragorn shared a secret smile with Missy. "Dangit. I feel so left out!" Becky burst into tears. AGAIN.  
  
"There, there," Aragorn patted her head sympathetically. "I will tell you all what I can later if I can."  
  
"No that's not good," Becky sniffed. "I wanna go to the Council. NOW NOW NOW." Becky suddenly straightened up and stomped her foot and glared at everyone in a close five mile radius to glare at. Her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed.  
  
"Ooh. This is not good," Missy said, preparing to run.  
  
"What?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"A temper tantrum is coming on. Just now you will hear screams," Missy pulled out two pieces of cotton from her pocket and stuffed them in her ears.  
  
Becky opened her mouth.and a melodic Elvish voice floated down the hallway.  
  
"Estel? I thought you would be at the Council already," Legolas glided down the hallway, dressed in dark brown velvety-like robes that looked really familiar. In fact they looked like the same he wore yesterday. (Oh well, who pays attention to his clothes? Heehee.)  
  
Becky immediately snapped her mouth back shut and dove at Legolas.  
  
"Whew," Missy sighed, plucking the cotton out of her ears. "Thank you so much Legolas. You have no idea how much you just saved us."  
  
"You are most welcome," Legolas said, smiling slightly even though he wasn't really sure what he was being thanked for. (A\N: Yes, I know that line was from TTT) "Hi Leggy darling. Let's go to the Council," Becky hooked her arm through his and began towing him down the hallway.  
  
"Thank the Valar," Aragorn murmured under his breath but he didn't say it softly enough.  
  
Becky came running back to him and hooked her left arm through his right arm.  
  
"Don't think I forgot you," Becky said, grinning and she dragged the Man and Elf down the hallway with Missy following close behind.  
  
They arrived in time to the other members of the Council taking their seats.  
  
"Ah Aragorn, Legolas," Elrond trailed off seeing Missy and Becky. "What are they doing here?"  
  
"They wouldn't leave," Aragorn shrugged helplessly. "They could stay you know.  
  
They are just two little girls."  
  
"Yeah," Missy said but then glanced at Aragorn. "Hey! I'm not little."  
  
"Are you sure you shall remain quiet and you swear, swear never to tell a soul about this Council?" Elrond studied Missy and Becky carefully.  
  
"Yes. Sure Elrondie. Whatever you say," Becky said. "I swear on this bar of chocolate."  
  
Becky pulled a Milky Way bar out of her little knapsack that she carried everywhere and waved it in Elrond's face.  
  
"Chocolate?" Elrond repeated, giving them his 'freaky eyebrow' thing.  
  
"OMYGOSH! I forgot, you don't have chocolate in Middle Earth. You have to taste this," Becky opened the bar and gave it to Elrond who eyed it suspiciously.  
  
"Give it a taste. You'll love it," Missy reassured him.  
  
Elrond hesitantly nibbled on the end of the chocolate. His eyes grew wide and he took a bigger bite.  
  
"Isn't this good?" Becky asked, smiling. "Chocolate for everyone!"  
  
Becky dug into her bag and began handing everyone chocolate bars.  
  
"Here you are darlings. Since I wuv you so much you get two bags of M&M's and a Milky Way bar and a Kit Kat bar," Becky shoved these at Legolas before planting a kiss on Legolas' cheek. "Ooh soft!"  
  
Legolas gazed at Becky, with a slightly horrified expression. He glanced down at the bags of candy in his hands and lifted an eyebrow. "Come Legolas. Let me help you," Missy plucked the M&M's bag from his hand and split open the top. She poured some into his palm and gave the bag back to Becky.  
  
Legolas cocked his head curiously at them and bringing his hand up to his face, suspiciously sniffed it.  
  
"I don't think M&M's bite, darling," Becky said, pouncing on the candy in Legolas' palm. "It's not good to leave them sitting on your hand. The colors are gonna stain your pretty little palm. You eat it immediately." And with that she shoved the entire handful of chocolate in Legolas' mouth.  
  
Legolas did the only reflex thing he could do at the moment: he chewed up the candy and swallowed it.  
  
Legolas blinked and a slow smile spread across his features.  
  
"This is good," he said. "It has such an elegant taste, not too sweet and not too bitter. What is it called?"  
  
"It's called chocolate M&M's," Becky informed him. "Want some more?"  
  
"Please," Legolas said, offering his hand.  
  
Becky grabbed his hand and planted a kiss on it. Then she dropped the bag of M&M's into his hand and walked over to Elrond who was currently seated on his chair.  
  
"I think it's time we get this council on the road, Elrondie," Becky said, poking Elrond in the shoulder.  
  
He didn't do anything except take another bite of his Milky Way and sigh dreamily.  
  
"C'mon Elrond. I need to see Hot Ranger Dude in action," Missy said.  
  
"Be quiet. Hot Ranger Dude does nothing except sit on his dirty butt and watch my Elf do everything," Becky shot back and turned her attention on Elrond. "That's it. Gimme that candy bar!"  
  
She dove at Elrond and with lightning-fast speed plucked the Milky Way bar out of his hand.  
  
Elrond looked shocked and then burst into a tantrum. "Give me my Milky Way bar!"  
  
"Start the Council RIGHT NOW or you will never, ever get another Milky Way bar AGAIN," Missy chimed in.  
  
"Yes my lady," Elrond immediately straightened up. "Shall we begin?"  
  
Elrond rose to his feet as the other members of the Council took their seats and began tearing into their chocolate bars and candies with help from Missy.  
  
He indicated for Becky and Missy to sit on two chairs that appeared to have materialized out of nowhere but they flopped onto the ground.  
  
"Strangers from distant lands," Elrond pointedly looked at Becky and Missy who had begun to tear into their own candy bars. "Friends of old. You have been summoned to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite, or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." He gestured to Frodo.  
  
Frodo came forward and set the Ring onto the pedestal and then stopped and gazed out at the area surrounding the Council.  
  
"What are you doing Frodo?" Elrond asked, arching an eyebrow at Frodo.  
  
"Looking for more visitors," Frodo smiled at Becky and Missy who waved back. "My M&M's have finished."  
  
"Oh I should have given you more, like I did Leggy. Hobbitses eat a lot," Becky said, tossing Frodo a Kit Kat.  
  
"Thanks," Frodo retreated to his seat and he ripped into the candy bar.  
  
Becky smiled, proud of her accomplishment of introducing chocolate to the inhabitants of Middle Earth.  
  
"So it is true," Boromir muttered gazing at the Ring.  
  
Aragorn eyed him (A\N: Not like that you sick person this is PG!) oddly but he had finally manage to open his candy bar because Missy had a sudden shy attack and Becky was too busy gaping at "her Leggykins" devouring M&M's like he'd never seen food before.  
  
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor," Boromir said.  
  
He took a bite of his Milky Way bar and gave Becky and Missy a nod of approval.  
  
"No we didn't make the candy. It's a candy company back on Earth," Missy said. "Someday we must write them a letter telling them how much we love them."  
  
"Yeah," Becky said. "But we'll do that later. On with it."  
  
"Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor kept the forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!" Boromir stated.  
  
Everyone looked at Becky with their eyebrows lifted as she repeated every single on of Boromir's lines.  
  
"You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master," Aragorn explained.  
  
A loud squeal was heard as Becky and Missy burst into frantic applause and began screaming at the top of their lungs.  
  
"Go Hot Ranger Dude! It's not your birthday though we're gonna party like it is!" Becky screeched. "For being so dang cute, you get another candy bar!"  
  
Becky flung a Kit Kat at Aragorn who deftly caught it.  
  
Aragorn smiled, slightly amused and began tearing into his first candy bar, tucking the second bar into his robes.  
  
"And what would a Ranger know of this matter?" Boromir glared at Aragorn because he'd gotten another candy bar.  
  
Legolas shot to his feet, quick to defend Aragorn, "This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."  
  
Becky and Missy burst out into loud screams and began jumping up and down on the floor.  
  
"I can finally call him by his real name," Becky said.  
  
Frodo stifled a giggle but Elrond shot them a glare and gestured for them to be quiet.  
  
"Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?" Boromir looked astonished.  
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor," Legolas replied.  
  
"Havo dad, Legolas," Aragorn said, holding up his hand.  
  
"What the pink furry clouds?" Becky shouted. "How dare you tell my Elf to sit down? He will sit when he wants!"  
  
"Grrr-" Missy clamped her hand over Becky's mouth and she immediately shut up.  
  
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," Boromir returned to his seat looking sulky.  
  
Gandalf cleared his throat. "Aragorn is right. We cannot use it."  
  
"You have only one choice," Elrond said. "The Ring must be destroyed."  
  
Boromir looked annoyed but remained silent.  
  
"What are we waiting for?!" Gimli leapt to his feet and Elrond shot up in his seat as he brought his axe down upon the Ring.  
  
The axe breaks and he is flung backwards onto the ground.  
  
"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Glóin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came," Elrond looked around the Council. "One of you must do this."  
  
There is dead silence all around the Council. Becky and Missy dared not say anything to ruin the moment.  
  
"One does not simply walk into Mordor," Boromir said softly. "Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air that you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."  
  
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?" Legolas cried in frustration, once again shooting to his feet. "The Ring must be destroyed."  
  
"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?!" Gimli accuses.  
  
"And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?" Boromir leaped to his feet.  
  
"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf!" Gimli shot to his feet.  
  
All the Elves, the Dwarves and then everyone except Frodo and Aragorn stand up.  
  
"Never trust an Elf!" Gimli shouted and Legolas flung out his arms to hold back the Elves that stood behind him.  
  
Everyone gets in on the big argument and they argue for a while, eyes flashing and hands flying to emphasize points.  
  
"How dare you, you short Dwarf! You're jealous because my darling is taller than you!" Becky jumped in front of Legolas to try to protect him but if he really needed protecting she'd have failed miserably as she came up to his shoulder.  
  
Everyone gets in on the big argument and they argue for a while, eyes flashing and hands flying to emphasize points.  
  
The Ring begins muttering in the Dark Language but only Frodo hears it..  
  
Frodo comes forward and says softly, "I will take it. I will take it."  
  
Finally everyone hears him and stops to listen.  
  
"I will take the Ring to Mordor.though I do not know the way," Frodo said, looking all big-eyed hobbity innocence.  
  
"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear," Gandalf stood next to Frodo with his hand on Frodo's shoulder.  
  
"If by my life or death, if I can protect you, I will," Aragorn finally got off his Hot Ranger Dude butt and knelt before Frodo. "You have my sword."  
  
"Oh you look so noble!" Missy cried.  
  
"Dang, you really will look good seated on the throne of Gondor!" Becky exclaimed and the two cousins shrieked and began dancing round the semi- circle.  
  
Legolas shook his head but only Aragorn, Gandalf and Elrond caught the tiny hint of a smile on his mouth.  
  
"And you have my bow," Legolas strode forward and stood besides Frodo.  
  
"And my axe," Gimli stood besides Legolas.  
  
Legolas didn't look too pleased but he quickly changed his face to expressionless.  
  
"You carry the fates of us all, little one," Boromir began walking slowly towards Frodo. "If this is indeed the will of the Council then Gondor will see it done."  
  
"Here!" Sam the hobbit leapt out from behind some bushes where he'd been hiding and ran up behind them. "Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me!"  
  
"Oh that is so cute!" Becky sighed and dabbed at her eyes with a lace handkerchief.  
  
"No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret Council, and you are not," Elrond said.  
  
"Oi! We're coming too!" Merry cried.  
  
He and Pippin had been standing at the entrance to the Council.  
  
Elrond's head whipped around and he gave them the "candy-cane" eyebrow as they ran towards Frodo.  
  
"You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us," Merry said.  
  
"Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing," Pippin said.  
  
"Well that rules you out, Pip," Merry said and it was a few moments before Pippin realized what he had said.  
  
"Nine companions. So be it. You shall be-" Elrond trailed off.  
  
Becky and Missy had come forward and were now hugging Elrond.  
  
"Please Elrondie. We wanna come too. Don't make us stay here all by our lonesome," Becky begged, pulling on Elrond's robes. "Pleeeeease?"  
  
"Yeah please Elrondie," Missy begged. "We'll give you more chocolate."  
  
"Yeah. We'll give you two Twix bars, two Kit Kats, two Milky Way bars and two bags of M&M's," Becky said, pulling out the candy and looking all business-like.  
  
"Five bags of M&M's," Elrond demanded.  
  
"Three," Missy said the same time Elrond said four.  
  
"Three it is," Elrond held out his hands. "It's a done deal. Pass up my chocolate."  
  
"First declare us the Fellowship of The Ring," Becky said holding back the yummy candy.  
  
Elrond rolled his eyes but straightened and declared, "Eleven companions. So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of The Ring."  
  
"Great. Where are we going?" Pippin asked, widening his cute little hobbitsy eyes.  
  
"Mordor darling," Becky answered, going to stand with the Fellowship and tossed the candy at Elrond.  
  
Elrond immediately took off screaming something about they will never get his candy. 


	8. Chapter 7: Party in Rivendell

This chapter is dedicated to Hot Ranger Dude, as Saturday was his birthday and I COMPLETELY forgot to put it in Chapter 6 so this chappy is dedicated all to my favorite Ranger. Not Viggo Mortensen people, it's ARAGORN! Yep March 1st it's also the day he.okay I'm gonna shut up before I give away what happens to you movie people and perhaps some bookies who haven't reach ROTK.  
  
Please, please, please read and review. I love to get feedback.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings nor do I own Aragorn, Legolas OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS. They belong to the amazing J.R.R. Tolkien. J.R.R. Tolkien belonged to himself. I do however own this story and the plot (which really doesn't exist.)  
  
Author's Other Note: OMYGOSH!!! I just saw Black Hawk Down for the first time ever Monday night! Orlando Bloom looks so darn cute you just wanna hug him and give him a big kiss. *sighs and hugs and kisses her one of her many piccies of him* and he did so not fall, the helicopter was shot and it jerked! Darn you for lying on the poor, sweet boy who looks good half-bald and he looks SO CUTE in camouflage. He looks so cute in anything might I add ;) eww, you sick, sick person! I meant with a beard even!  
  
Thank you to my reviewers: Omnipotent Genghis Khan Sammid, Steph, Missy and Aunty Marcy. Wuv you all!  
  
Sorry it took so long for this chapter to get out but you see it's quite long. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Chapter 7: Party In Rivendell  
  
It was bright and early the next morning as Elrond climbed out of bed.  
  
He quickly washed his face with a basin of water and changed into his daytime robes.  
  
Elrond paused in front of his mirror to make sure his hair was neat and then headed out the door.  
  
Birds were chirping merrily in the boughs of the trees and Elrond smiled to himself in relief, as that and the sound of leaves rustling in the gentle morning breeze were the only sounds.  
  
Thank Elbereth those girls were still sleeping.or so he thought.  
  
As Elrond headed down the hallway he really began to wonder how his house could possibly be so quiet. He knew Legolas was an early riser and when was the last time Aragorn had actually laid down on a bed and slept???? (A\N: Think the Two Towers.)  
  
Arwen was most definitely getting her "beauty sleep", Elladan and Elrohir had just returned from their long journey so it was understandable they were resting late and Gandalf was most likely out smoking his pipe in the garden.  
  
Elrond blanched at that thought. Most horrible for one's skin, especially for an old wizard.  
  
And his servants? Surely his servants would be up now and scuttling about.  
  
Then as he neared the hall he heard voices, laughter and loud rustling.  
  
Elrond groaned but quickly hastened closer to see exactly what it was.  
  
He entered the Hall to find Becky and Missy arguing.  
  
Everyone stood around eying them curiously except for Legolas and Aragorn who were positioned on top of Elrond's dining table holding a long wall scroll of cloth between them.  
  
Pippin and Merry were bouncing about in the folds of the cloth and giggling madly.  
  
Frodo and Sam were watching them with smiles on their faces.  
  
Gandalf, Gimli and Boromir were seated at the far end of the table and Arwen was snoozing on the table wearing her Daddy's blue corn facemask.  
  
All Elrond's servants stood around watching them and whispering to each other.  
  
"No, no no Missy," Becky was saying. "I told you that the writing was going to be gold on both sides, not blue on one side and gold on the other!"  
  
"Well I would've heard you if every other word was not a sigh and a drool over Legolas!" Missy shot back.  
  
"He's prettyful. He deserves to be worshipped," Becky said.  
  
"What is going on here?" Elrond asked, storming over to the cousins.  
  
Becky gestured to Legolas and Aragorn who tossed Merry and Pippin out of the cloth scroll and held it up.  
  
Elrond could see that it was really a banner and this side of the banner had gold writing.  
  
"Party in the House of Elrond!" Elrond read. "What?!"  
  
"We're having a party for you," Missy explained. "Since you've been such a dahling and let us become part of the Fellowship we've decided to throw you a party."  
  
"What color do you prefer Elrondie?" Becky asked, getting up on the table with Aragorn and Legolas. "Gold?" She made Aragorn and Legolas flip it over. "Or blue?"  
  
"Actually I prefer purple," Elrond said before he could stop himself.  
  
"Had a feeling so," Becky said and then she called to the Elves. "Bring some more gold glitter. And some purple from my suitcases. Oh and those little packs of letters. Get me more gold!"  
  
An Elf handed her a tube of gold glitter and more gold letters while several others hurried off in search of the purple glitter.  
  
"Arwen!" Becky poked Arwen in the back. "Time to start sticking again."  
  
She reluctantly woke up but jumped up instantly when she saw her daddy.  
  
"Arwen?!!! You are in this mischief too?" Elrond asked, his jaw almost scraping the ground.  
  
"Whoops," Arwen said but as soon as Becky handed her the gold glitter and letters she got to work removing the blue letters.  
  
"Ooh and the glue!" Becky tossed Arwen the glue.  
  
As soon as Arwen pulled the cover of the glue poor Lord Elrond dropped to his knees, hands clamped firmly over his nose.  
  
"Here, have a clothes clip," Missy tossed Elrond a blue clothes clip which she pulled out from her pocket.  
  
Elrond clamped it on his nose, following the example from everyone else in the room.  
  
"What is that awful scent?" Elrond asked, getting to his feet a bit embarrassed.  
  
"Don't worry Elrondie. It's just glue. We forgot to buy the non-scented one," Becky said.  
  
"C'mon Arwen. Hurry up!" Becky instructed her. "The party's tonight and we still have to send out the invitations!"  
  
"Ooh! Invitations!" Missy said and dashed out of the room.  
  
She was back seconds later with three Elves behind her all holding two bags of envelopes each.  
  
"C'mon Becky let's get to work," Missy said and the two cousins began furiously writing up the invitations.  
  
"Wait," Becky said and then she turned to Elrond, "Exactly how many Elves are there in Rivendell?"  
  
Elrond paused for a second, "About twenty thousand!"  
  
Becky promptly fainted in a not-so-graceful heap on the floor.  
  
She immediately leapt back up and glared at Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"Either one of you was supposed to catch me," Becky said. "Let's try that again."  
  
Becky swooned again dramatically but this time she landed on a cushion.  
  
"Well thank you whoever did that," Becky said, getting to her feet and shot another glare at Aragorn and Legolas who both stifled a laugh.  
  
"You're welcome," Frodo said, gazing at her with his big, cute hobbity blue eyes.  
  
"That's it. You're getting a hug!" Becky dove at him and gave the hobbit a big bone-crushing hug. "I love you, you big blue-eyed short hobbit."  
  
"Did you not say you loved me first?" Legolas asked, looking a bit puzzled.  
  
"Ooh, I love you more!" Becky immediately let go of Frodo and leaping up onto the table she grabbed Legolas into a hug, and they would've fallen to the ground if Aragorn hadn't grabbed Legolas' arm.  
  
"And you too Hot Ranger Dude," Becky blew him a kiss.  
  
"Hey, he's mine!" Missy leapt up onto the table and grabbed Aragorn.  
  
"He's not yours, cousin. He's J.R.R. Tolkien's," Becky scolded. "Thank you J.R.R. Tolkien for creating him. And Legolas! Ooh lots of love to him for creating my favorite Elfy. And Boromir! And Frodo! And-"  
  
"We get the point," Missy said.  
  
"I do not know of any J.R.R. Tolkien," Aragorn said.  
  
"Didn't expect you would, darling," Becky said. "C'mon you'll we have to get this show on the road."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~12 hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (6:30 p.m.)  
  
Becky hustled around making the final touches on everything that needed fixing.  
  
She had managed to get some Rivendell Elves to be the orchestra and her, Missy and Sam had only returned a half hour ago from delivering the invitations.  
  
Becky and Missy hurried into the kitchens to check on the food.  
  
"How's the lembas coming along?" Becky asked, peering into the lembas side of the kitchen where hot trays of lembas were being placed on the table every few minutes.  
  
"They are coming along quite well," a She-Elf replied as she hurried to place another tray on the table. "Would you like to sample one?"  
  
"Sure!" Becky grabbed one and nibbled on it delicately. "Ooh! Lembas!"  
  
She grabbed several handfuls and stuffed them into her pockets and took off.  
  
"You'll have to excuse her. She's a little crazy," Missy said but she suddenly grabbed a handful and took off after her cousin.  
  
"I think everything's ready," Becky said, bouncing back out into the hall and examining the banner.  
  
"The only thing we need to do is to bathe and change our clothes and we'll be ready," Missy said and the two cousins stuffing the remaining lembas in their mouths, ran up the stairs to the second floor where their rooms were located.  
  
They were halfway there when Arwen materialized as if from thin air in front of them. She was holding two robe-y-thingies that were white and trimmed with gold.  
  
"Hello girls," Arwen said, smiling what looked like a very evil smile. "Where might I ask are you two going?"  
  
"To change our clothes," Becky replied, suspiciously eying the robes in Arwen's hands. "What are those for?"  
  
"These are for wearing," Arwen said, her evil smile getting eviler.  
  
"NO!" Becky shrieked. "I'm not putting on that thing!"  
  
"Hey, didn't you always say their dresses were cool?" Missy said but then clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oops."  
  
Becky glared daggers at Missy.  
  
"C'mon, Becky," Arwen pleaded. "Daddy insisted. He said that it was the least he could do for you since you were throwing up such a lavish party. And it's one of the finest qualities of dresses I've ever seen. It was made by the Lothlórien Elves."  
  
"Okay," Becky grabbed one of the dresses out of Arwen's hands. "If it was made by Lothlórien Elves it rules in my book."  
  
Missy grabbed the other dress and each cousin dashed off to her own bathroom (which they'd only just found out they actually had in Rivendell this morning!)  
  
Arwen stood patiently waiting when they came running back half-an-hour later fully dressed.  
  
"See that wasn't so hard," Arwen said. "They don't look half bad on you."  
  
"Well that's a compliment and a half," Becky said sarcastically.  
  
"It's a bit long for Missy but it'll have to do," Arwen said. "Come. Let's go make one final check of things."  
  
"Ooh. Wait," Becky said. "We've got things for the party."  
  
She winked at Missy who headed back to their rooms and came back lugging a heavy suitcase.  
  
"What is in there?" Arwen eyed the suitcase suspiciously.  
  
Becky and Missy had long since explained to everyone that suitcases were meant to hold things.  
  
"Fun stuff," Becky and Missy giggled madly.  
  
"By the way Arwen where are your brothers?" Becky asked conversationally.  
  
"They are resting in their rooms," Arwen said, waving a hand down to the North end of the hallway.  
  
Becky shrieked and took off in that direction, screaming, "Elladan! Elrohir!" at the top of her lungs.  
  
"You shouldn't have told her that," Missy said but nevertheless she and Arwen hurried off after Becky.  
  
Further down the North end of the hallway two doors flung open at the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling their names.  
  
Elladan poked his head out his door to see Elrohir doing the same and rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
  
"Huh?" Elrohir asked. "I heard someone call my name."  
  
"Me too," Elladan said but they didn't have to wonder anymore as Becky came running down the hallway and seeing the two Half Elves she stopped and screamed.  
  
"OMYGOSH!" Becky stopped and stared with wide eyes at the twins who stared back at her. "You'll are so hot!"  
  
She looked back and forth between the twins deciding whom to hug first.  
  
"Hello," Elrohir said. "I don't believe we've met. Were you the ones that called us?"  
  
"No. I believe that was Becky," Missy said, coming to a running stop behind Becky. "Hello there Elladan and Elrohir. Now who's who?"  
  
"I am Elladan," Elladan said, pointing to himself. "And that is my brother Elrohir."  
  
"You look so much alike," Missy said.  
  
"Duh. They're twins," Becky replied rolling her eyes.  
  
"Who are you?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"I'm Becky and that's Missy," Becky introduced. "I love you guys! You'll are so cute in The Return of The King!"  
  
"They don't really look like Elves," Missy said, bounding up to Elrohir and pulling on his ear. "The ears are definitely real. They have dark hair. I thought all Elves were blond."  
  
"Of course they're Elves. Though they're Halfelven," Becky said. "Like Arwen and Elrondie." Becky pulled Missy away from Elrohir who rubbed his ear and winced.  
  
"Elrondie?" Elladan repeated.  
  
"Ada," Arwen explained, appearing behind Becky and Missy. Legolas, Aragorn, Elrond and another golden haired Elf closely followed her.  
  
"Ooh," Becky said, completely abandoning gaping at Elrohir and Elladan and turned her attention on Legolas who looked adorable in a long light green velvet robe.  
  
She launched herself at him and hugged him. "You look so cute, I could eat you with a spoon!"  
  
"Aww," Missy said and she whipped out one of their disposable cameras and snapped a picture of them.  
  
Legolas blinked in amazement and shook his head quickly to get rid of all the little dancing arrows around his head.  
  
"Hello Legolas," Elladan said. "How have you been? I haven't seen you for a very long time."  
  
"I am fine. As you can see I have had my hands quite full," Legolas said, trying to detach Becky.  
  
"Ah Estel. It has been a long time, little brother," Elrohir said and he and Elladan stepped forward to embrace Aragorn.  
  
"Hey! I'm NOT little," Aragorn said indignantly.  
  
"That's so cute!" Becky and Missy said simultaneously.  
  
The camera whirred again and Elladan, Elrohir and Aragorn were blinded for a moment by the flash.  
  
"Ah I see that you have found my sons," Elrond said, coming forward. He was dressed in purple (!!) robes. "Alas they shall not be joining us for the party."  
  
He began to usher them back into their respective rooms but Elrohir paused in the doorway.  
  
"What party? Nobody informed me of a party," he said.  
  
"I didn't hear of a party either. Where is it to be held?" Elladan asked.  
  
"Right downstairs in the Hall," Becky said. "No one told you?"  
  
"No." Elrohir said, looking at his Ada.  
  
"My dear sons I was trying to save you but you have brought this fate upon yourselves," Elrond said, shaking his head and tears actually came to his eyes. "If you want to have this fate then you shall attend."  
  
"Ada?" Elladan asked, looking at Elrond strangely.  
  
"Hello Lord Glorfindel," Elrohir said, looking past Legolas, Aragorn, Elrond and Arwen to the tall blond Elf who stood there.  
  
"Glorfindel? Where? Where?" Becky's head snapped around and she quickly scanned the area.  
  
She spotted the tall golden haired Elf who stood behind while everyone talked and tackled him.  
  
"OMYGOSH! You're so hot! Glorfindel!" Becky smothered him with kisses. "I love you so much. You so rule! I love your part in the book. Let it be known to the world that Glorfindel really saved Frodo! You're soo tall!"  
  
Glorfindel gazed down at Becky his head cocked a little to the left.  
  
"Do I know you?" he asked.  
  
"Nope. I'm Becky," Becky said. "That's my cousin Missy. And I love you so much."  
  
"She has lot of love to give," Elrohir said to Elladan and they both laughed.  
  
"That's because I love you all!" Becky said. "Now if you don't mind let's par-tay!!!"  
  
Elladan and Elrohir (darlings that they are) volunteered to drag the heavy suitcase Missy had brought from their rooms downstairs to the party, which had just begun.  
  
Elrond hurried about to meet and mingle with his guests. The hobbits were already positioned by the food table; Boromir was talking with the Gondorian humans; Gimli was talking to the Dwarves and all the Dwarves were glaring at the Elves that surrounded them; and Gandalf was sitting in the corner talking to Bilbo.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir set the suitcase by the food table and Becky and Missy promptly burst it open and began digging through the contents.  
  
They came up with bags and bags of mini Twix bars, Milky Ways, Snickers and packs of M&M's.  
  
Becky and Missy grabbed six bags each and trotted over to Gandalf.  
  
Becky whispered something into his ear and he reluctantly nodded.  
  
Gandalf let out a piercing whistle which caused everyone's head to spin around and focus on him.  
  
There was a loud thumping of hooves and Asfaloth appeared in the hallway, a piece of paper in his mouth.  
  
Glorfindel stroked his horse's mane, took the paper and skimmed it quickly. With a slight smile, he handed it to Gandalf who read it aloud.  
  
"Dear Gandalf, what do you want? I cannot come at the moment, as am very busy looking for horse-wife on the Pelennor Fields. Send back message with Asfaloth. Your friend, Shadowfax."  
  
Gandalf smiled and then burst into a fit of raucous laughter that stunned everyone in The House of Elrond.  
  
Becky and Missy also burst into hysterical laughter because they knew the real reason of Gandalf's whistle.  
  
"Dear Asfaloth tell Shadowfax that I was not calling for him. I was merely trying to get everyone's attention," Gandalf told Asfaloth who nodded and took off.  
  
"Well now that we have you're attention," Missy said and she gestured to Becky.  
  
"Yes. We have something to give to you. We promise that it is very, very good," Becky said. "If the Lord of Rivendell likes it-" everyone looked at Elrond who nodded vigorously. "You'll should love it!"  
  
They ripped into the packs of candy and began throwing handfuls at the crowds.  
  
The masses dove for the candy, pushing each other aside roughly and acting very much unlike Elves (and whatever else they were.)  
  
Click! Becky snapped a picture.  
  
Elrond was down on his knees, grabbing candy by the handfuls and stuffing them into his robes.  
  
Click! She snapped several more.  
  
Glorfindel had just discovered the delights of a Milky Way bar and was shoving Elrond roughly aside (choosing to ignore the fact that Elrond was the Lord of Rivendell.)  
  
Elladan and Elrohir were watching their father in absolute shock but they decided it must be fun and they began grabbing handfuls themselves.  
  
The hobbits were stuffing as much candy in their mouths as they could hold.  
  
Merry and Pippin were fighting over a Milky Way bar.  
  
Everyone had gotten in on the scavenging, even Gandalf who was surreptitiously slipping Milky Way bars into his cloak and Boromir who looked as if he'd never before seen food.  
  
Arwen was crawling about on her hands and knees, trying to steal some from her daddy who wasn't sharing.  
  
Aragorn was also on his hands and knees in a most un-kingly posture, scavenging for chocolate.  
  
Legolas was flitting in and out of the crowds, quick as lightning taking all the candy he could find.  
  
Becky seeing that lovely Elven prince running out of candy called to him.  
  
"Oh my lovely Legolas!" she shrieked loudly causing everyone to stop fighting over candy and stare at her. "CATCH!"  
  
She flung an entire bag of candy at him and he deftly caught it.  
  
Legolas caught the murderous glint in everyone's eyes and he immediately took off running and Elrond, Glorfindel and the rest of the population of Rivendell took off after him.  
  
Becky and Missy giggled but they too joined the running crowd of Elves.  
  
"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF! I demand you get back here right now and let me confiscate that chocolate or you'll never be welcome in Rivendell again!" Elrond howled after Legolas who was a good few paces in front of him.  
  
"Yeah what Daddy said," Arwen said, coming panting along.  
  
Aragorn and Boromir outpaced her as they slowly began gaining on Legolas.  
  
Aragorn's fingers grazed the back of Legolas' hair.  
  
"Hey! Don't touch the hair if you haven't thoroughly scrubbed your hands with soap," Legolas shouted over his shoulder and he quickened his pace.  
  
"Legolas darling. Slow down!" Becky said, struggling to run as her legs were getting tired. "I can't run this fast with all this chocolate. Dang."  
  
The entire crowd except Legolas and Aragorn stopped and circled Becky and Missy.  
  
"You have chocolate?" Elladan said, getting a maniacal glint in his eyes. "Where? Where?"  
  
"LEGOLAS! ARAGORN! Catch!" Becky and Missy tossed the remaining bags of chocolate at the two friends who had stopped when they heard their names. Once again they took off as the crowd launched at them again.  
  
"Hey! Rivendell!" Becky shouted a sudden idea coming to her head and she nudged Missy in the ribs. "Smile!"  
  
They immediately set off their cameras making sure to turn on the flash.  
  
The population of Rivendell blinked wildly and struggled to free their heads of that blinding light.  
  
"Run my darlings run!" Becky shouted at Legolas and Aragorn who didn't need a second reminding.  
  
The Elf and Ranger took off into the night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heheehheeeee. Well did you like or not? I had fun writing this chappy. If you don't like it please tell me in your review. Thanx to my lovely family (Missy, Aunty Marcy!). Oh and to Missy, where is IT? WHERE IS IT? I checked my inbox and it's NOT there. Hmm???? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWW!! 


	9. Chapter 8: The Day After

Becky Greenleaf, your lovely author here. Sorry this took so long. School. Ick. Exams. Ick. HOT ELF last night on Starz!. Yummy. Bought a magazine today (from last year) with picture of Hot Elf's alter ego, Orlando Bloom. Yummier. Please read and review! Thankies to all my reviewers. Luv you all!  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except for this story and myself. I do not own any of the characters within except for Becky who is me. Missy belongs to herself. Legolas, Aragorn, Frodo, Gandalf etc. belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. The wonderful actors belong to themselves. *Sobs while hugging that famous Ned Kelly pic of Orlando Bloom (Joe Byrne). You know the one at the Cook homestead *cough*. You know of the one I speak. *  
  
Yeah, yeah. Lame title. Tell me about it.  
  
Chapter 8: The Day After  
  
The sun had been high up into the sky for four and a half hours when Legolas Greenleaf sat up in his bed and gently rubbed his gorgeous blue eyes.  
  
He glanced out the window of his guest bedroom and saw the sun high up in the sky.  
  
He wondered how he could have slept so late and then he remembered the party last night and how he and Aragorn had run for miles trying to escape the crazy population of Rivendell.  
  
Legolas felt under his pillow and sure enough twelve bags of chocolate lay there huddled up in a heap next to his knives. He'd managed to get five extra bags away from Aragorn when he'd yelled that Arwen was doing the chicken dance in a bikini.  
  
Legolas smiled at the memory of the expression on Aragorn's face even though the both of them had no idea what the chicken dance or a bikini was.  
  
He smiled and plucked a Milky Way bar out and began to eat it.  
  
He recalled how shocked the Ranger had looked when he'd turned round to discover that Arwen was nowhere to be seen and Legolas was leaping from tree to tree with five extra bags of chocolate.  
  
What happened after that had been very hazy but Legolas recalled that eventually they went back to the party (with Legolas telling Aragorn he'd eaten all the candy.) Becky and Missy had brought out bottles and bottles and bottles of a black liquid. At first Legolas had been a bit concerned that they'd want people to actually drink impure water. But then Becky had convinced him that Coca-Cola was good by forcing some down his throat. Legolas had to admit that it tasted quite good. Very fizzy.  
  
But there was something in that Coca-Cola and chocolate combination that wasn't very good for Elves. Especially when you were drinking the Coca-Cola by the twelve-packs and the chocolate by the bags. He remembered Elrond and Glorfindel had been dancing around the room doing, according to Missy, "The Egyptian" and Elladan, Elrohir and himself had been singing. What they had been singing, Legolas really could not remember. For some reason when he tried to remember it, he suddenly began to blush fiery red and feel extremely embarrassed.  
  
He remembered Arwen Undómiel herself, the Evenstar of her people, was singing or more appropriately shrieking a little-known romantic song in Elvish on her knees to Aragorn (who being Lord Elrond's foster son and had lived in Rivendell and traveled to many Elf realms, had understood every embarrassing word.) Legolas laughed to himself remembering the extremely horrified look on Aragorn's face as he tried to run but Arwen's Elven strength held him in place.  
  
"My darling Elfiekins. I see you're awake," a voice shrieked at him and Legolas jumped and turned in surprise to see Becky and Missy perched on the edge of his bed grinning at him.  
  
"Where did you two come from?" Legolas asked, lifting an eyebrow at the two cousins who grinned maniacally back.  
  
"I love it when you laugh!" Becky flung herself at him and nearly strangled him. "I wuv you!"  
  
"You know how long we've been waiting for you to get up?" Missy said. "Since the party ended last night."  
  
"How did you get into my room?" Legolas asked. He hadn't been that drunk from the Coca-Cola last night that he'd forgotten to lock his door?  
  
Becky, as if reading his thoughts, finally let go of him and held up a key.  
  
"Bribed from the hands of Lord Elrond," Becky grinned and she and Missy slapped their palms together.  
  
Legolas blinked and backed as far away from the two girls as possible.  
  
"Did you enjoy the party, dahling?" Becky asked, inching closer to him.  
  
"Of course," Legolas replied courteously. "It was.interesting."  
  
"How much do you remember?" Missy asked, smirking.  
  
Legolas frowned in thought because he only remembered up to a certain point.  
  
"Oh beauty!" Becky shrieked. "Does he not look totally loveable?"  
  
"Well, only up to when Arwen was singing to Aragorn," Legolas recalled, a tiny smile flickering over his features. "But my memory seems very hazy as to what the twins and I were singing and to what we did after. Would you please tell me?"  
  
"That's it mon beau Elf?" Becky asked, incredulously. "That's all you can remember?"  
  
"Yes," Legolas answered, getting a bit concerned seeing the look on Becky's face.  
  
"A lot more happened after that. If you know what I mean," Becky winked at Missy and they giggled insanely.  
  
"If you would be so kind as to tell me?" Legolas asked, his anxiety rising.  
  
Becky opened her mouth to speak but Missy stepped forward and grabbed Legolas' arm.  
  
"Why don't we visit the Hall first?" Missy said. "Maybe that will jog your memory."  
  
"Could you kindly wait for me a little while?" Legolas asked, hurrying back into his room to take his knives, hide the candy, straighten his clothes and brush his hair.  
  
"Don't you go anywhere unarmed?" Missy asked, she and Becky each hooked onto an arm and began tugging him down the stairs.  
  
"No," Legolas replied. "You come to us in perilous times when war is around almost every corner. One must be prepared when it comes."  
  
"Oh you speak so poetically," Becky nearly swooned and she succeeded in dragging Missy and Legolas down three stairs. "Oops."  
  
"It is all right," Legolas replied, trying to ignore the pounding headache that had just arrived behind his lovely blue eyes.  
  
They arrived at the foot of the stairs and Legolas gasped.  
  
The foot of the stairs was strewn with Coca-Cola bottles, chocolate bar wrappers, bottles and bottle of Elven wine and.sleeping Elves???!!  
  
Sure enough several passed out Elves were curled up snoozing on the floor.  
  
"You see Coca-Cola, Elven wine and chocolate do not mix I'm afraid," Becky said, walking over to an Elf and poking him.  
  
"Lord Erestor?" Legolas asked, peering over Becky's shoulder at the Elf she'd just poked.  
  
"Poor Elf had the deadly combination of Elven wine, Coca-Cola and chocolate bars," Becky replied, giggling slightly.  
  
Legolas shook his head at the sight and walked further down the hallway and into the hall.  
  
Once more the room was full of Elves either passed out on the floor or on couches.  
  
He recognized many colleagues of Lord Elrond and to his surprise, several of his father's colleagues that had arrived with him from Mirkwood.  
  
He saw Lord Glorfindel curled up on a couch, hugging his half-drunk bottle of Coca-Cola to his chest.  
  
"Oh how shweet!" Becky bounded over to him and ruffled his hair.  
  
"Isn't it amazing how drunken and passed out Elves manage to retain their elegance and grace?" Missy asked.  
  
"Oh yeah. Especially you Legolas!" Becky said and Missy and her burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
"Could you kindly explain?" Legolas asked politely about ready to tear out his hair.  
  
"Well, last night after Arwen sang to Aragorn, you danced. A quite elegant dance," Becky said, giggling hysterically.  
  
"I danced?" Legolas asked, blushing red. "What did I dance?"  
  
"Oh you look so lovely when you blush," Becky giggled and grabbed the Elf into a strangling hug. "Much kisses to you."  
  
"Exactly how and what I was dancing?" Legolas asked.  
  
"You were doing the chicken dance," Becky provided helpfully.  
  
"The chicken dance?" Legolas repeated, blinking. "But I don't even know what the chicken dance is!"  
  
"Well you seemed to know last night," Missy said. "You and the hobbits were quite entertaining."  
  
The cousins erupted into loud hysterical laughter causing several Elves to leap up from their drunken stupor.  
  
"Good morning Elrondie!" Becky said, spotting Lord Elrond stumbling into the room, his hair in disarray and the same robes he'd been wearing at the party.  
  
Lord Elrond took one long at the room and nearly collapsed.  
  
"What in the world went on last night?" Lord Elrond asked, stunned.  
  
His house! This would take weeks to clean up!  
  
"Don't you know?" Becky asked. "You contributed to half of this!"  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, Aragorn and Arwen walked in.  
  
Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen appeared to be literally sleepwalking and Aragorn was keeping his distance from Arwen.  
  
"Legolas!" Elrohir cried when he saw him and he and his brother rushed forward to meet him. "Do you remember what happened last night?"  
  
"I remember we were singing but what we were singing and what happened after Arwen sang to Aragorn is a blur," Legolas said, glancing at Aragorn who looked ready to crawl into a hole and die.  
  
"What were Elladan, Elrohir and myself singing last night?" Legolas asked Missy and Becky.  
  
"I really haven't a clue," Becky shrugged. "I can speak and understand some Elvish but that was some serious rapid fire Elven you'll were doing last night. Actually I believe it was a very freaky mix between Westron, Sindarin and Quenyan."  
  
"Good Elbereth," Legolas gasped, horrified. What in the name of the Valar could they have been singing?  
  
"I can tell you what you were singing," Lord Elrond said, now taking notice of Legolas.  
  
"You were singing about the summer of 2530 of The Third Age," Lord Elrond said, lifting an eyebrow at Legolas. "Something about my sons and you, Arwen, Lothlórien and Haldir of the Galadhrim of Lothlórien. Care to explain?"  
  
Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen gasped simultaneously but as soon as Lord Elrond looked at them they adopted an innocent look.  
  
Legolas gulped loudly, the memories now flooding back to him.  
  
He swore there and then in his mind never, never to get drunk again and give away all his secrets.  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, Leggy, Arwen, Lothlórien and Haldir?" Becky repeated. "This I wanna hear in English. Er, Westron."  
  
"Legolas?" Lord Elrond said, staring down Legolas.  
  
"Well," Legolas began, deciding to be truthful. "It was when Elladan, Elrohir and I visited Arwen in Lothlórien. We met with our old friend Haldir. There was a very big party-"  
  
"Something tells me that I do not want to hear anymore but continue," Lord Elrond said cutting off Legolas.  
  
Legolas reluctantly went on, "Which Galadriel and Celeborn did not know of as it was being held in a secret place. The party was going quite well. The food and the drink were excellent. There were lots of Elven maidens. I danced with a very pretty friend of Arwen's. Her name was-"  
  
A scream ripped throughout the hall and there was a loud thud.  
  
Everyone turned to see Becky in a dead faint on the ground.  
  
"Becky! Cousin!" Missy dropped to her cousin's side and hovered over her. "SPEAK TO ME!"  
  
"What happened?" Lord Elrond asked, coming over to Becky's side.  
  
"She fainted!" Missy shouted, looking panicky. "My cousin fainted! Save her! Call the ambulance, call EHS, call a doctor!"  
  
"Alright, alright. I will see what I can do," Lord Elrond said. "But first why did she faint?"  
  
Aragorn also rushed over to Becky's side and plucked a handful of Athelas out of his pocket. (A\N: Does Hot Ranger Dude have pockets???!!!)  
  
"I don't know. She was good as ever just now and then when Leggy started talking about." Missy trailed off and then glared at Legolas who took several steps backward.  
  
By now he knew that insane fangirls were not to be messed with.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"You mentioned some girl. My poor cousin freaked at the idea of you and an Elven chick," Missy said, fanning her fallen cousin.  
  
Then a sudden idea struck her and she leant over and whispered something into Becky's ear.  
  
Becky shot bolt right up.  
  
"When? Why? Where? What?" Becky leapt to her feet and she swiftly scanned the room and quickly aimed her eyes at the roof.  
  
"That was some amazing healing," Aragorn said with a wry smile. "What did you tell her?"  
  
"I told her Orlando Bloom had fallen out of the Black Hawk and needed catching," Missy said, smiling.  
  
"He did so NOT fall, cousin," Becky said, averting her eyes from the ceiling for a moment. "Those stupid people shot the Black Hawk and it jerked and he fell out."  
  
"You know you totally contradicted yourself there right?" Missy asked.  
  
"So?" Becky replied. "Hey where the heck is Orlando Bloom?"  
  
*Fangirls around the world look up at the ceiling too.*  
  
"Silly cousin. What would Orlando Bloom be doing in Middle Earth?" Missy asked.  
  
"Grrr," Becky growled menacingly but gave up staring at the ceiling. "I have piccies at least."  
  
Then she caught sight of Legolas and promptly burst into tears.  
  
"You have a girlfriend!" Becky sobbed onto Missy's shoulder. "Missy, he has a girlfriend!!!!!!"  
  
"What is a girlfriend?" Legolas asked a little lost.  
  
"Betrothed, beloved," Arwen quoted Becky.  
  
Becky wailed louder and Missy handed her a Kleenex. "After all we meant to each other!" Becky wailed. "After all these.months!"  
  
"I have only known you for four days!" Legolas exclaimed. "I do not even know where you're from, your age, your full name. I don't know anything about you."  
  
Becky wailed louder and blew her nose loudly into the Kleenex.  
  
But she stopped wailing and her eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
"FINE!" Becky shrieked at him. "This relationship is so over."  
  
"But I barely know you!" Legolas said.  
  
Becky pulled Legolas' other hairbrush from her bag and tossed it at him.  
  
"Here's the hairbrush I took!" she sniffled mournfully. "And your extra quiver. And one of your arrows. BUT I'M KEEPING THE TUNIC AND THE TIGHTS I STOLE FROM YOUR ROOM THIS MORNING!"  
  
Becky took off with another wail of "I can't believe my Legolas dumped me!"  
  
"But I barely know you!" Legolas repeated to Becky's retreating form.  
  
By now all the Elves had woken up and were staring at Legolas.  
  
They all shook their heads and eyed him critically.  
  
"WHAT?" Legolas asked. "I've only known her for four days!"  
  
He looked for support from Lord Elrond and everyone else but they all just shook their heads.  
  
"Good Elbereth!" Legolas said and headed out for a walk in the gardens to clear his head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Half-an-hour later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Legolas strolled slowly through the gardens of Rivendell. He paused for an instant to gaze upon the absolute beauty that surrounded him.  
  
He neared his favorite spot in all the gardens: a small fountain surrounded by a lone bench.  
  
But as he got closer he froze in the bushes.  
  
The insane fangirl sat on the lone bench, crying her eyes out.  
  
Next to her on the bench sat Legolas' tunic and tights.  
  
She held a candy bar that she'd picked from his room this morning too, a big green box sat on her lap; it contained The Lord of The Rings trilogy and all the bookmarks that she'd printed off the Internet.  
  
"MY LEGOLAS! WHERE HAVE YOU GONEEEEE??!!!" Becky howled as if in pain.  
  
Legolas cowered in pain and covered his sensitive ears.  
  
"WHY? WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND GET A GIRLFRIEND?" Becky wailed even louder causing the birds to fly out of the trees. "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE KEPT YOUR CUTE PRINCELY BUTT IN MIRKWOOD?"  
  
Legolas moaned softly and pressed his hands harder over his ears.  
  
He had to stop her eventually or he was going to become the first deaf Elf ever.  
  
As Becky burst into another stream of tears, Legolas slowly made his way out of his hiding place and came towards her.  
  
"Becky?" he said softly and she looked up and her eyes widened.  
  
"Leggy you've come back to me!" Becky howled and pounced on the prince. "Leggy, I'm soooooooorrrrrrrryyyyyy. I still wuv you. I'm sho sho glad you've found me. MY ELFIEKINS!"  
  
"Actually I was taking a walk," Legolas said.  
  
"Oh," Becky said, finally letting go of him. "But now that you're here, let's talk."  
  
She plopped down onto the bench and gently moved her LOTR and Legolas stuff and gently put them back in all their proper plastic wrappings and bags.  
  
Becky delicately folded Legolas' clothing and quickly hid them.  
  
Legolas pretended he didn't see as he sat at the far end of the bench.  
  
"So Leggy, how are you?" Becky asked, grabbing something out of one of her bags and inching closer to Legolas.  
  
He backed further away. "I am quite well, thank you. And yourself?"  
  
"Wonderful because you're here!" Becky said, sliding as close to him as she could get. "I have something to show you."  
  
Becky pulled out the thing she'd grabbed from her bag and held it up.  
  
Legolas looked at it curiously but nonetheless took it from her hands.  
  
"What is this?" he asked, turning the item over and staring at it.  
  
It was very bright and shiny and felt like paper but he'd never seen paper with so much color before.  
  
"It's called a magazine! And looks who's on the cover!" Becky pointed to a man on the cover.  
  
"He looks a little familiar," Legolas regarded the shape of the man's face. It almost looked a little like him but Legolas was no mortal, nor was he dark haired and dark eyed.  
  
"It's Orlando Bloom. Doesn't he look hot?" Becky screeched and hugged the magazine.  
  
"I do not know of an Orlando Bloom," Legolas said.  
  
"Oh well. Didn't expect you would," Becky rose to her feet and put the magazine back into its plastic wrappings. "Come on. It's lunch time and I'm hungrryyyy."  
  
She loaded the LOTR stuff into her bag, grabbed Legolas' hand and dragged him back to The House of Elrond.  
  
As they neared the entrance Becky stopped dragging Legolas and turned to him.  
  
"Do you really have a girlfriend?" Becky asked, pulling out her handkerchief and getting ready to cry into it.  
  
"Betrothed, beloved?" Legolas remembered from this morning. "No. Those Elvish maidens were very beautiful but most of them were already engaged or married. Arwen's friend was very pretty but she liked another Lothlórien Elf."  
  
"Yes!" Becky shrieked. "Stupid Elf-chick. Her loss is my gain. Will you marry me?"  
  
"I. Barely. Know. You," Came the strangled reply.  
  
"Cool. Will you know me next week?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What did ya'll think? It hurt me so much to write about giving back Leggy all those things I stole from his room *giggle*. Sorry if everyone seemed a little OOC. Fangirls can drive them crazy. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. It's all quite simple. Go to that little button at the bottom of the page, go to submit review and CLICK! It's not hard. Really. 


	10. Chapter 9: Farewell to Rivendell

Disclaimer: I do not own Gummi Bears; I do not own Herbal Essences, I DO NOT OWN THE LORD OF THE RINGS. However I do own a big black paddle brush, a bottle of Herbal Essences Hair Spray, a little brown wooden brush, a headband with a butterfly, purple sunglasses. Etc. All the gifts that I have given (mostly) belong to me. The ones that I label from Missy are owned by Missy. I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THIS STORY AND THE PLOT WHICH SERIOUSLY DOES NOT EXIST.  
  
Warning: Contains book spoilers for The Two Towers and The Return of The King if you haven't read the books.  
  
Chapter 9: Farewell to Rivendell  
  
Two weeks later it was time to leave Rivendell. The Fellowship was all packed and standing near the bridge waiting for Becky and Missy.  
  
"ELRONDIE! I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH!" Becky wailed as she sobbed all over Elrond's robes. She and Missy pulled him, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen into a strangling hug.  
  
"I'm gonna miss you, the two cutest hottest twins I've ever, ever, ever laid eyes upon," Becky said to Elladan and Elrohir. "AND ARWEN! I didn't really like you but I'm gonna miss you tooo!"  
  
"GLORFINDEL? WHERE IS GLORFINDEL?" Becky howled. "I have to see Glorfindel before I go!"  
  
"Lord Glorfindel is currently occupied at the moment," Elladan said. "We wish you good luck on his behalf. We will be sure to tell him you were looking for him."  
  
"I want to see Glorfindel now in case I never see him again," Becky shouted. "GLORFINDEL YOU GET HERE RIGHT NOW."  
  
Suddenly Glorfindel appeared as if out of nowhere.  
  
"Someone called my name?" he asked.  
  
"I did," Becky said and flung herself at Glorfindel. "Oh I'm gonna miss you so much. Why couldn't you come toooooo?"  
  
"Bye Glorfindel," Becky said reluctantly letting go of him. "I'll always remember you. You too Elladan. You too Elrohir. You too Arwen. ELRONDIE!"  
  
Becky ran towards Elrond and hugged him.  
  
"I always thought you were seriously stressed but now I see you're really cool. I'm gonna miss you," Becky sniffled and when she drew back from Elrond he had a bag of chocolate in his hand. "Remember Missy and me from this."  
  
Elrond had been seriously overwhelmed by the display of affection from Becky but it was not unwelcome.  
  
He patted the top of Becky's head and hid the chocolate ignoring the hungry glances from his children and Elven Lord.  
  
"Whenever you wish, you are always welcome to visit Rivendell," Elrond told Becky and Missy. "The doors of my house will always be open to you and you may stay as long as you wish."  
  
"Oh ELRONDIE!" Becky howled loudly. "I'll miss you!"  
  
Becky and Missy dug out more packs of mini-chocolate bars and gave them to Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Arwen.  
  
"May you enjoy these and always remember us," Becky said, blowing her nose loudly into her handkerchief. "Ooh wait. I have to give you'll gifts. It's only right."  
  
Becky and Missy ran to Bill the pony who was overloaded with all their suitcases.  
  
They pulled down the largest one (much to the relief of the poor pony) and began emptying it.  
  
"This is for you Glorfindel," Becky said, pulling a small nicely polished wooden brush out of her bag. "You can hide it easily in your robes, you know when you just wanna give your hair a little touch up, Golden-haired."  
  
Becky winked at him and a smile flickered across his face, as he understood what she said.  
  
"Oh and this too," Becky handed him a pack of golden hair ribbons. "To put in your hair and make it prettier."  
  
"Thank you, Becky," Glorfindel said and Becky beamed back at him.  
  
Of course no one but The Elves, Gandalf and Aragorn understood exactly what the insane fangirl was talking about.  
  
"And I give this to you, Arwen," Becky pulled out a little silver barrette with a two flowers on it. "Ooh and this too."  
  
Becky placed the barrette and a container of sparkly pink and purple lip- gloss in Arwen's hand.  
  
"Pretty," Arwen immediately put the barrette in her hair and then gaped at the lip-gloss. "Sparkly."  
  
"Oh and this too," Becky leaned over and whispered something into Arwen's pointed ear.  
  
At the first thing Arwen looked shocked and then when Becky told her something a small smile flitted over her features.  
  
"I thank you from the bottom of my heart," Arwen said. "For what you just told me, what you're going to do and for the gifts."  
  
Becky smiled and moved on to Elladan and Elrohir.  
  
"Well I really don't know you boys but I know you like to play pranks," Becky grinned at them and Elladan and Elrohir blushed. "So these I give to you."  
  
Becky handed them a tube of purple hair mascara and another tube of electric blue hair mascara to be "used on Elrondie when he's sleeping", several bags of purple, gold and blue glitter, a bottle of glue "for creative purposes" and a large bag of confetti to be "used at the next big bash."  
  
"Hannon le Becky," Elladan and Elrohir told her and they hugged her.  
  
"Ooh.Elves hugged me and I didn't hafta hug them first!" Becky said. She winked at Legolas hoping he'd take her hint. (Un)fortunately he didn't.  
  
She moved on to Elrond.  
  
"I really don't know what to give to you but here you go," Becky began emptying every pocket of her bag. "You can have my silver headband with the pretty purple butterfly on it. You know when you can't find that golden circlet thingy. Here's my extra pair of purple sunglasses. I don't need them, I have another pair. Ooh and you can have my grape lip-gloss. Don't think I own anything else that's purple."  
  
"Thank you," Elrond said, examining the silver headband carefully. "What do you do with this?"  
  
He held up the pair of purple sunglasses.  
  
"You put them on see?" Becky took the sunglasses from him and put them over his eyes. "Like that. Whaddya think?"  
  
"Everything is so purple!" Elrond exclaimed, putting on the silver headband.  
  
"I feel very giving," Becky said, all of a sudden. She reached into the suitcase and drew out a large plastic bag. "I feel like sharing."  
  
"And when she's giving don't you dare stop her. She doesn't give away much anyways," Missy said, receiving a death glare from Becky.  
  
"I only give to those I wuv," Becky sniffed at Missy. "NOT INCLUDING YOU."  
  
"I feel so hurt," Missy said. "I guess I'll go give out my share of gifts while you try to figure out who you're giving what."  
  
"Okay," Becky said, getting down on her knees and rummaging through the bag.  
  
Missy went up to Glorfindel and handed him a little golden box.  
  
"To put your hairbrush in when you're not carrying it around. You seem to like golden stuff!" Missy told him. "It also has a little gold mirror in there too."  
  
Glorfindel smiled and then realized Missy didn't know as much about Elves as her cousin did.  
  
Missy moved on to Arwen and pulled out a tiny pendant from her pocket. It was little diamond-looking-like thing with silver wrapped around it.  
  
"This is also from Becky as I don't own anything I'd think you'd like except some chocolate," Missy said, putting the pendant in Arwen's hand. The sparkling thing fascinated Arwen and she gazed at it, mouth open in awe.  
  
"Sparkly," Arwen said again.  
  
"This is to make up for what I did to your Evenstar," Missy said, blushing slightly.  
  
"Oh that's alright," Arwen waved it off. "I own four others. Besides I got Lord Erestor to glue it back for me when you'll were using the glue for the party."  
  
Arwen held up the old Evenstar pendant with glue very obviously showing.  
  
Missy gave her a thumbs up and went to Elladan and Elrohir.  
  
"Oookay. I positively really don't know you boys at all even though I've know you'll for like, two weeks," Missy said. "But here."  
  
She handed them some more glitter, confetti, a pack of double-sided tape to "do evilness to Elrondie and Arwen" and a pack of Flaming Red hair dye to "do wickedness to the Elven Lords. Read the instructions."  
  
"And this is for you Elrondie," Missy handed him a glittery silver fairy tiara.  
  
"This is for you, Leggy my darling, my beautiful, my sweet, my gorgeous, my lovely-" Becky said.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Missy cut her off. "We get your point."  
  
Becky glared at her cousin but began emptying her pockets, a duffel bag and several pockets in the suitcase.  
  
"This is for you," Becky said, tossing Legolas a pack of Gummi bears. "Keep them close. They don't have as much sugar kick as chocolate but they're really good."  
  
Legolas nodded and immediately opened the bag of Gummi bears. He pulled out a little pear colored one and poked it with his lovely Elven finger. "So soft."  
  
"This too my loveliness," Becky tossed him a large black paddle brush that she'd only gotten last Valentine's Day. "I haven't used it yet, but anything for you!"  
  
"Ooh," Legolas stared, mouth slightly agape at the brush. He twirled it deftly between his fingers. He slowly ran it through his hair and smiled.  
  
"And this too!" Becky pulled a bottle of Herbal Essences hairspray out of a duffel bag and handed it to him. "Make your hair smell nice and lovely and keeps it in place."  
  
"Er.you can also have Missy's defrizzing hair thing. I don't know what can possibly be defrizzed in your pin straight hair but you can amuse yourself with it. It smells nice," Becky said, handing him Missy's 'defrizzing hair thing'.  
  
"My defrizzing hair thing!" Missy shouted.  
  
"You don't mind sharing with my lovely do you?" Becky said, eyes narrowing dangerously and mouth curling to let out a murderous shriek.  
  
"No, no. Of course not," Missy said, quickly preparing the cotton to stuff her ears with. "I was just wondering where that had been. I've been missing it for a while."  
  
"Oh," Becky said and then dug out another pack of gold ribbons, and then a pack of blue and a pack of silver. "These are also for you, Legolas."  
  
"Hey how come he gets so much gifts?" Aragorn said in a very un-kingly way. He pouted very much resembling a five year old.  
  
"Because I love him more. Duh," Becky replied, but she bounced over to Aragorn and patted the top of his head. "Don't feel bad. I love you too. Just that Legolas is extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely gorgeous and you're just extremely, extremely, extremely gorgeous. See the difference?"  
  
"Yes, I think," Aragorn said. He did not honestly comprehend what that crazy girl was saying.  
  
"Hmm. Sadly I think that's all I have to give Legolas," Becky said, pawing wildly through her stuff. "Yeppers that's it."  
  
She pulled out a bar of Dove soap, a sponge-y-scrubby-thingy and a box of facial wipes.  
  
"These are for you, Aragorn," Becky handed them to Aragorn. "They are from me and Missy. Ooh and here's a brush too. Use it well."  
  
Aragorn looked at the soap and blinked.  
  
"Thank you," Aragorn nodded at Becky and Missy.  
  
Missy nearly swooned and Becky elbowed her in the ribs.  
  
"And Boromir you get a razor," Becky said, tossing him a Gillette Mach 3. "Ooh and um, I don't have any shaving cream as I found only the razor in one of the suitcases but you can have my Jergens cream. I hope it works the same way."  
  
Boromir nodded at Becky and Missy and stared in wonder at the shaver and cream.  
  
"And Frodo you can have my chain in case you know the chain that holds the Ring ever breaks or something," Becky gave Frodo the chain. "And Sam you can have this scented stationery card with roses on it since you know you love gardening and stuff. And you can have some of my plastic flowers too."  
  
Sam took the card and flowers and gazed at them in amazement. He sniffed the card and smiled.  
  
"And Frodo you can have my chain too," Missy said, handing it to Frodo. "And Sam you can have these flower shaped perfume things. I'm not sure what you can do with ladies' perfume but they smell like the flowers. Boromir, you can have some shaving wax. Aragorn you can have my hair gel. Though I doubt you need it with all that grease already in your hair. And Legolas you can have my other tub of hair gel. It should hold your hair quite nicely."  
  
Becky bounced over to Gandalf. "You can have my pink lei and you can have my fairy wand. I hope you like them even though I'm not sure you'll know what to do with the lei."  
  
Gandalf whisked the fairy wand through the air and chuckled when the silver ribbons attached to the star part glittered.  
  
"You can have my glittery hair bow," Missy said. "You can tie it in your beard. It looks so good with the wand."  
  
Becky went to Gimli and handed him a bottle of blue spray paint. "Your beard needs some serious sprucing up."  
  
"And you can have these beads to tie on your braids," Missy said, handing Gimli some blue and white flower shaped beads.  
  
"And for you hobbits," Becky and Missy smiled at Merry and Pippin. "You'll can have these vegetables we found stored in the food suitcase. Mushrooms and carrots."  
  
The hobbits tackled the bags with a quick shout of thanks and began ripping into them.  
  
"And Bill, you can have this whole bag of carrots," Becky said, holding up the bag to get the pony's attention. "We'll keep it for you and make sure you'll get some along your way."  
  
"It's time we've gone on our way," Gandalf said, straightening up and clearing his throat.  
  
Becky burst into tears again and dove at Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel, Arwen and Elrond.  
  
"Ooh I'm gonna miss you guys so much," Becky sobbed as Aragorn and Legolas towed Becky away.  
  
"Namárië!" Elrond called, lifted his hand in farewell to the eleven companions. "May the Valar watch over you."  
  
Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir practiced the wave Becky had taught them.  
  
Glorfindel smiled and nodded at them.  
  
The Eleven Walkers headed out of Rivendell with Becky and Missy calling and waving goodbyes.  
  
"I'll always remember your lovely city, Elrondie!" That was Missy.  
  
"Don't worry Arwen. I remember. I won't forget!" Becky called back.  
  
"Ooh, Elladan and Elrohir. You'll were really sweet!" Missy sniffled.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll see them again soon. Hopefully." That was Becky.  
  
"Namárië Imladris!" that was the last thing Becky called out. 


	11. Chapter 10: The Ring Goes South

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story except for Becky and that's me. Missy belongs to herself. Everyone else belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Author's Note: Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed. It was really sweet of you. *Smiles* I hope you'll enjoyed my story and I hope you will review more. PLEASE? I really love to know what people think of my lovely little story. Also the Elvish that they're speaking is Sindarin in case anyone wanted to know. If my translations or Elvish is incorrect please tell me. Also I have combined a teeny tiny reference of the book of The Fellowship of The Ring with the movie in here. Hope you don't mind.  
  
Maybe you're wondering why you got two whole chapters on one day. I'm feeling extremely happy now that I have two gorgeous posters of a very Hot Elf adorning my bedroom door. *Sighs and kisses the posters*  
  
Chapter 10: The Ring Goes South  
  
"We must hold to this course, west from the Misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there our road turns east to Mordor," Gandalf said as the Fellowship stopped for lunch on a ridge in the country of Hollin.  
  
"Ooh Mordor!" Becky said, helping herself to sausages. "How interesting."  
  
The original Fellowship just shook their heads and looked away.  
  
Boromir began to teach Merry and Pippin swordplay.  
  
"Two, one, five. Good. Very good!" Boromir commented.  
  
Aragorn was smoking his pipe. "Move your feet."  
  
"You look good Pippin," Merry told his cousin.  
  
"Thanks," Pippin replied.  
  
"Faster!" Boromir said.  
  
"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf! We could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome," Gimli said to Gandalf.  
  
"No, Gimli. I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice," Gandalf replied.  
  
Legolas caught sight of something in the distance and he leaped nimbly up onto a rock.  
  
Becky leaped up after him but succeeded in tripping over a rock and went flying backwards.  
  
She landed in heap at Gandalf and Gimli's feet.  
  
Boromir laughed so hard he lost control of the sword and hits Pippin, who he is fighting with, on his hand.  
  
"Ahh!" Pippin cried, shaking his hand.  
  
"Sorry," Boromir said quickly.  
  
"Get him!" Pippin yelled, tackling Boromir.  
  
"For the Shire!" Merry also tackled Boromir.  
  
Aragorn flashed a rare smile.  
  
"Hold him. Hold him down, Merry!" Pippin called.  
  
"You've got my arm! You've got my arm!" Merry cried.  
  
"What is that?" Sam asked, noticing the shapes in the distance.  
  
"Nothing," Gimli assured him. "It's just a wisp of cloud."  
  
Boromir had surrendered to the hobbits and they were all getting to their feet.  
  
"It's moving fast. Against the wind," Boromir noticed.  
  
"Eeeee!" Becky shrieked just before Legolas said, "Crebain from Dunland!"  
  
"HIDE!" Aragorn yelled, causing Becky and Missy to nearly stuff cotton into their ears.  
  
"Well say it loud enough for the birds to hear why don't you?" Becky grumbled, grabbing up her suitcases.  
  
"Merry!" Boromir called.  
  
"Frodo! Hurry. Take cover," Aragorn instructed.  
  
Sam put out the fire and grabbed the pan of sausages. Everyone else scurried about grabbing their belongings and dashing behind the rocks or to the cover of trees.  
  
Aragorn grabbed Frodo and they ran under the cover of some rocks.  
  
Just then the Crebain swooped down and began circling the area, examining it thoroughly.  
  
Finally the Crebain swoop off and the Fellowship emerges from their hiding places.  
  
"Spies of Saruman. The passage south is being watched," Gandalf said. "We must take the pass of Caradhras."  
  
They all turned to stare up at the tall mountain that loomed behind them, its peak covered with snow.  
  
"Ooh. Brr," Becky and Missy said simultaneously.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They trudged slowly up Caradhras and already the snow was ankle deep and rising higher about them.  
  
Frodo tripped and fell, tumbling down the slope.  
  
"Should have made a little hobbit snowball," Becky commented as Aragorn rushed to help Frodo to his feet.  
  
Frodo brushed the snow off his clothes and furiously searches for the Ring. He realizes he dropped it.  
  
Boromir picks up the Ring by its chain with his right hand.  
  
"Boromir!" Aragorn said, looking all hot and ranger-y with his hair blowing in the wind.  
  
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing," Boromir reached out his left hand to touch the Ring.  
  
"Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo!" Aragorn said.  
  
Boromir as if just out of a trance walked to Aragorn and Frodo. "As you wish."  
  
He held out the Ring which Frodo promptly grabbed.  
  
"I care not," Boromir laughed and ruffled Frodo's hair.  
  
He walked off to where the remaining members of the Fellowship were waiting.  
  
Aragorn removed his hand from the hilt of his sword as Becky and Missy came stumbling back down the mountain.  
  
"Frodo!" Becky said, running to Frodo, a Milky Way bar in her hand. "You fell? Take this little gifty from Becky and Missy and you'll feel better."  
  
She opened the Milky Way bar and handed it to the hobbit who gratefully began to nibble it as it had frozen rock solid.  
  
Aragorn eyed the candy bar with obvious hunger but didn't say anything.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Crebain swoop into Isengard where Saruman is awaiting them.  
  
"So Gandalf, you tried to lead them over Caradhras. And if that fails, where then will you go?" Saruman said.  
  
Becky and Missy suddenly appeared in Isengard, a few inches from Saruman who leaped in surprise and stared at them.  
  
"Well, we'll have to go through Moria and then when we lose Ga-" Missy said but Becky clamped a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Hey don't give away our secrets," Becky scolded and they disappeared once again.  
  
"That was odd," Saruman blinked but quickly waved the thought of the strangely attired girls away.  
  
"If the mountain defeats you, will you risk a more dangerous road?" Saruman asked.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Fellowship minus one trudged along through the bitter cold and snow. Aragorn and Boromir each held two hobbits while Becky and Missy had latched themselves onto Aragorn's coat; Gimli stumbled along in front of them and Gandalf up ahead, ploughed through the snow.  
  
Legolas was slightly ahead of everyone as he was an Elf and was able to walk atop snow.  
  
"Go Leggy! It's your birthday!" Becky called, from her not-so-warm spot on Aragorn's coat.  
  
"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas noticed, his beautiful blond hair blowing around his face.  
  
"It's Saruman!" Gandalf cried, as boulders fell from above.  
  
"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn shouted, struggling to be heard over Saruman.  
  
"NO!" Gandalf shouted back and lifted his staff. He began shouting something. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Saruman is standing atop the pinnacle of Orthanc, staff in hand.  
  
He was shouting a spell to raise Caradhras but Becky appeared, hands on hips.  
  
"Hello? Would you like, stop doing that? Like, my Elf's hair is getting so totally ravaged from the cold weather and all that leaping around to avoid the boulders," Becky said in a high-pitched voice. "Could you like, stop? Like, please?"  
  
Saruman glared at her and with a gesture of his left hand, flung her off the edge of the pinnacle of Orthanc.  
  
Moments later Becky came floating up in midair on a purple magic carpet, courtesy of Elrondie.  
  
"Like, that wasn't very nice. Like I'm gonna teach you a lesson," Becky said but then glanced at her watch which conveniently had started working again. "Whoops. Gotta get back to mah darling Elf! Bye-bye."  
  
She disappeared leaving a very confused Saruman the White staring after her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A bolt of lightning hit the mountain, bringing down snow and rocks.  
  
The Fellowship are buried for a few moments.  
  
First Legolas pops out of the snow like a little daffodil. (A\N: I always say that when I see him do that. Dunno why.)  
  
Aragorn struggled out with the hobbits and then he and Legolas proceeded to dig out Becky and Missy who were still attached to Aragorn's coat but were half-buried in the snow.  
  
As soon as Legolas pulled Becky out of the snow she screeched and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"My hero, my sweet, my darling. My Elf! You have saved me from eternal freezing," Becky sighed. "Thank you my darling."  
  
"You are most welcome," Legolas replied, courteously as ever.  
  
"We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan! Or take the west road to my city!" Boromir cried.  
  
"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard," Aragorn replied.  
  
"If we cannot pass over the mountain. Let us go under it! Let us go through the Mines of Moria," Gimli suggested.  
  
"Moria. You fear to go into those mines. The Dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke there in the darkness of Khazad-dûm: shadow and flame." Gandalf heard Saruman's voice in his head.  
  
"Will you stop flustering the poor old wizard, Saruman?" Becky said.  
  
"Why are you hearing me?" Saruman asked, now in both Becky and Gandalf's head.  
  
"Because I'm special!" Becky said.  
  
To everyone else except Gandalf it looked as if she were talking to herself.  
  
Pippin pointed his hand at his temple and swirled it around in a circle.  
  
"She's crazy," he whispered to Merry.  
  
"Tell me about it. She has good food though," Merry whispered back. "And that puts her in my good books."  
  
"Let the Ring bearer decide," Gandalf said. "Frodo?"  
  
Frodo looked around at all the tired faces, worn out from the cold weather and he immediately knew what he must do.  
  
"We will go through the mines," Frodo said.  
  
"So be it," Gandalf said, his face slightly grave.  
  
"Ooh. Nice and warm Moria!" Becky said, shivering.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well whaddya think? I just wrote this today! Sorry I took so long, I've been really busy with school, projects and exams. I have a BIG project due Monday and I've barely started. So please, please, please read and review. I'll really appreciate it. 


	12. Chapter 11: A Journey in The Dark

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. But if you'll know if Legolas and Aragorn are being auctioned off somewhere I'll be willing to pay a nice price. Hehe.I'm a poet and I don't even know it! Ooh I forgot to mention that namárie is Quenyan not Sindarin. So sorry about that. Thank ye, Thank ye, Thank ye to all my lovely, lovely, lovely reviewers!!! Look at the end for your review-replies even though I don't have that much reviews to reply too *Cries* Also much thanks to Al for helping with my Elvish translation for this chapter *throws candy at Al* Hannon le, hannon le, hannon le!!!  
  
This chapter is also mixed strongly with the book and the movie. Part 1 is bookverse and Part 2 is part bookverse part movieverse. Several parts in Part I and II are taken straight from The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring; Book II-Chapter IV A Journey in the Dark; pgs 391-399.  
  
Chapter 11: A Journey in The Dark  
  
PART I  
  
Becky and Missy sat huddled close together around the fire. The howling of wolves was heard all around them.  
  
Becky began to nibble nervously on her fingernails and inched closer to Aragorn and Legolas who were on watch.  
  
They had been sheltering at the bottom of a small hill but they had climbed to the top for their defense in the night when Aragorn said that the Wargs had come.  
  
Becky was a bit frightened. Why? She had no clue why. She knew what Wargs were. She'd seen them a million times in The Two Towers and they hadn't frightened her at all when she'd read about them but going to see them face to face was a bit different.  
  
Becky shuddered. Things had been going to perfectly movie-like and then all of a sudden the harsh reality of the book came crashing in.  
  
She inched closer to Legolas and wrapped her arms around his hand.  
  
"Hi dahhhhhling!" Becky whispered to him.  
  
Legolas smiled slightly at his new arm ornament. "Hello Becky. Do you mind loosening your grip or perhaps moving your hand? If the Wargs attack I would like to have my hands free."  
  
"Oh sure," Becky released his arm but almost immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pinning both arms to his side. "Better?"  
  
"Yes," Legolas replied, not wishing to say anything else.  
  
Aragorn caught his friend's eye and smiled. He shook his head slightly at the fangirl who was now whispering animatedly to Legolas.  
  
He turned to notice Missy seated right next to him.  
  
Becky's cousin looked very much confused and she kept glancing around, frightened by every little noise.  
  
"Missy? Are you alright?" Aragorn whispered, causing Missy to jump several feet into the air.  
  
"I-I'm fine. J-just p-p-perfect," Missy stammered. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a Twix bar and began eating to calm her nerves.  
  
Aragorn eyed the candy bar and Missy catching his gaze, handed him a Milky Way.  
  
"Thank you," Aragorn nodded before ripping into the candy bar. "You should try to rest. The journey up Caradhras must've been hard for young girls like you."  
  
"No. I'm just fine thank you," Becky said, peeling open a Kit Kat bar and handing it to Legolas who looked rather pleased.  
  
But five minutes later she had fallen asleep on Legolas' shoulder.  
  
"Good Elbereth!" Legolas exclaimed and gently tried to detach the sleeping fangirl. But even in sleep she was just as hard to get rid of.  
  
Legolas gave up trying to detach her and scooped back up his bow.  
  
The hours passed slowly and Legolas found that he was surprisingly getting tired.  
  
He looked around the circle and saw that the hobbits had dozed off; Gandalf was sitting, gripping his staff tightly; Missy had also fallen asleep, head in her lap; Aragorn was sitting there, looking slightly dazed as he very slowly ate his Milky Way bar; Boromir was sitting next to Aragorn, deep in thought and of course Becky was still asleep on Legolas' shoulder.  
  
Suddenly out of the corner of Legolas' eye he spotted many shining eyes. Some had advanced almost to the ring of stones in which the Fellowship had lit a fire.  
  
All who were awake saw a large wolf-shape gazing at them from a gap in the circle. All who had been sleeping immediately awoke from the very terrifying presence of the creature.  
  
Becky whimpered and tightened her grip on Legolas' shoulder and with the other hand she grabbed Aragorn's coat.  
  
The wolf howled loudly.  
  
Becky nearly fainted.  
  
Gandalf strode forward with his staff held high. "Fly you fools!"  
  
The entire Fellowship stared at him.  
  
"Er, I meant to say something else," Gandalf said, looking flustered.  
  
"Fly you wolf?" Missy suggested helpfully.  
  
"Fool of a Took?" Pippin suggested.  
  
"Buh-bye Wargy?" that was Becky's ever helpful suggestion.  
  
"I shall go with the last one," Gandalf said. "Buh-bye Wargy!"  
  
"Mr. Merry I think that Gandalf is not so right in his head as I always thought he was," Sam whispered to Merry. "Perhaps he's had a little too much pipeweed and chocolate."  
  
At this they all turned to see the tip of a Kit Kat bar poking out from Gandalf's robes.  
  
"I think so," Becky said.  
  
"Ah yes!" Gandalf cried. "Listen, Hound of Sauron! Gandalf is here. Fly if you value your foul skin! I will shrivel you from tail to snout, if you come within this ring."  
  
The wolf snarled and leaped towards them.  
  
Becky let go of Legolas and Aragorn. There was a sharp twang and a hideous yell.  
  
Legolas had loosed his bow the instant Becky had let go of him.  
  
The wolf fell to the ground; Legolas' arrow had pierced its throat.  
  
All around them the watching eyes were no longer to be seen.  
  
Becky dove at Legolas and hugged him tightly.  
  
"You're so brave. You totally saved us. You deserve a hug," Becky said, hugging him even more tightly. "Maybe a Kiss too."  
  
Legolas using every last ounce of his Elven strength detached Becky and ran to the furthest corner of the circle for his life.  
  
"Fine. I meant a Hershey's Kiss," Becky said, pulling out a small pack of them. "But you know since you don't want it, I'll have it."  
  
"Well if you were so kind to have offered," Legolas smiled and extended his hand.  
  
Becky immediately surrendered the bag and went to sit by her cousin who had nearly gone into complete shock at the sight of the ugly Warg.  
  
"Hi Missy. How are you doing?" Becky asked.  
  
"Was that really a Warg?" Missy asked, nibbling her fingernails.  
  
"Yep. Ugly little creatures aren't they?" Becky said.  
  
"LITTLE?" Missy lifted an eyebrow at her cousin.  
  
"We-el. You know what I mean," Becky said.  
  
The cousins sat whispering to each other for a few minutes until Missy finally realized something.  
  
"Becky? Don't you realize we never found out exactly how we ended up in Middle Earth?" Missy whispered. "We never told Elrondie and everyone else. Something just tells me that Elrondie knows."  
  
"Yeah," Becky whispered back. "All I remember was that we were walking, we got tired and fell asleep. And I had that dream."  
  
Becky trailed off with a dreamy sigh.  
  
"Becky. Exactly what did you dream about?" Missy asked cautiously.  
  
"You mean you weren't listening?" Becky glared at her cousin.  
  
"Of course I was listening," Missy lied. "It was just so long ago and with all that was taking place I kinda forgot."  
  
"Oh," Becky said. "That's a good excuse. Well I dreamed that you and I were in Middle Earth. Just like we are now. Except the dream was all movie- verse. It wasn't part book part movie."  
  
"What did we do in Middle Earth?" Missy asked.  
  
"I-I don't remember," Becky said surprisingly. Her mouth was twisted in concentration as she tried to remember. "All I remember was that we were in Middle Earth and that was it."  
  
"Wait a minute. You didn't happen to do that thing you used to do when you doze off on the kitchen couch?" Missy asked, eyeing her cousin suspiciously.  
  
"What thing?" Becky replied, innocently widening her eyes.  
  
"You know when you start mumbling Elvish under your breath like a crazy person?" Missy accused.  
  
"I have no clue what you're talking about," Becky replied even more innocently.  
  
By now most of the Fellowship had inched closer to listen to their conversation.  
  
"Yes you do," Missy said. "I've heard you. Like the time when we were watching TV and you fell asleep on the couch and next thing you know I'm hearing stuff like 'I aymar prestor an' and 'Rimming oh nin in somewhere called Laer?!' And I wonder if my cousin has gone off."  
  
"So what if I love Elvish?" Becky asked defensively. "Elves rule! And your pronunciation was so totally wrong there!"  
  
"And you know what? I was whispering I think," Becky said. "I think it was that Galadriel part in the beginning and Arwen's lines at the Fords of Bruinen. And your pronounciation was like COMPLETELY TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY so WRONG, it's I amar prestar aen and rimmo nîn Bruinen dan in Ulaer!"  
  
"You are one crazy little girl," Missy said. "I'm gonna fall asleep right now and go home."  
  
Missy dropped to the ground and proceeded to snore.  
  
"Not so loud you fool of a Missy," Becky scolded.  
  
Suddenly a great host of Wargs began attacking The Fellowship from every side.  
  
Grey shapes began springing over the ring of stones. Several went immediately after Becky and Missy, their keen noses sniffing out the chocolate.  
  
They were quickly brought down by Aragorn and Legolas who were both horrified at the idea of losing good many bags of candy. (A\N: You mean my Legolas didn't want to save me because he loved me???!!! And Aragorn didn't love me either?!)  
  
Becky screamed bloody murder and dove behind Gandalf and clung to his coat.  
  
"I thought you were my fangirl!" Legolas said, lifting perfect eyebrow at Becky and simultaneously (A\N: just love that word) taking out several Wargs with perfectly aimed shots.  
  
"Hey, you got da perfect aim and the perfect bow and arrows and the perfect hotness but he's the wizard and the one with the staff," Becky shouted back from behind Gandalf. "Besides he only needs one hand and you need both."  
  
"Fling fuel on the fire!" Gandalf called to the hobbits. "Draw your blades, and stand back to back!"  
  
Gandalf lifted a burning branch, though with a little difficulty as Becky and Missy who had woken up were clinging to his cloak, and strode to meet the wolves who gave back before him. He tossed the blazing brand high into the air. It flared with a sudden white radiance like lightning; and his voice rolled like thunder.  
  
"Naur an edraith ammen! Naur dan i ngaurhoth!" he cried.  
  
There was a roar and a crackle, and the tree above him burst into a leaf and bloom of blinding flame. The fire leapt from tree-top to tree-top. The whole hill was crowned with dazzling light. The swords and knives of the defenders shone and flickered. The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled.  
  
"That was sooooo cool. They should have totally put that part in the movie," Becky said enthusiastically coming out from behind Gandalf's cloak. "It would have been so cool to see a flaming arrow on screen but even better to see it in real life!"  
  
Slowly the fire died till nothing was left but falling ash and sparks; a bitter smoke curled above the burned tree-stumps, and blew darkly from the hill, as the first light of dawn came dimly in the sky. Their enemies were routed and did not return.  
  
"What did I tell you, Mr. Pippin?" said Sam, sheathing his sword. "Wolves won't get him. That was an eye-opener, and no mistake! Nearly singed the hair off my head!"  
  
"Like duh. What do you think it did to my darling?" Becky said, going over to Legolas and pulling on his blond hair. "Look at his lovely golden locks. Look ever so closely at the ends. My darling's hair! SINGED."  
  
"And Aragorn!" Becky went to Aragorn and pulled on his greasy hair. "Well er, it's now so greasy that we can fry eggs in it!"  
  
"Really?" Pippin cried coming forward. Merry and Sam closely followed, eggs and a frying pan clutched in their hands.  
  
"Actually no. I can only see my reflection," Becky said, angling a lock of Aragorn's hair so she could see her face better.  
  
"REALLY?" Legolas cried, nearly shoving Becky out of the way. "I really can see my reflection. I've been searching for a mirror for so long! My hair's a mess!"  
  
"Why didn't you just ask her?" Missy suggested dryly. "She has like, ten mirrors carrying around."  
  
"Oh."  
  
PART II  
  
"The walls of Moria," Gimli said, pointing to a stone wall on the other side of a valley of water.  
  
"I only see a wall," Becky said, leaning forward eyes straining into the darkness.  
  
"Dear Valar," Aragorn muttered under his breath.  
  
When they had made their way across the lake Becky noticed there were two huge holly trees.  
  
"Well, here we are at last!" said Gandalf. "Here the Elven-way from Hollin ended. Holly was the token of the people of that land, and they planted it here to mark the end of their domain; for the West-door was made chiefly for their use in their traffic with the Lords of Moria. Those were happier days, when there was still close friendship at times between folk of different race, even between Dwarves and Elves."  
  
"It was not the fault of the Dwarves that the friendship waned," said Gimli.  
  
"I have not heard that it was the fault of the Elves," said Legolas.  
  
"I think it was the fault of the Dwarves. My darling Elf does NOT have a temper," Becky said, hugging Legolas. "Now do you darling?"  
  
"I thought you liked all of them," Missy pointed out.  
  
"I do!" Becky said then burst into tears. "I'm sorriiiiieeee Gimli it's just that ELVES RULE!"  
  
The Fellowship excluding Legolas, who looked very pleased at the thought that his race 'ruled', moved far away from Becky.  
  
They all searched the place with their eyes hoping to find the door.  
  
"Well, here we are and all ready," said Merry; "but where are the Doors? I can't see any sign of them."  
  
"Dwarf-doors are not made to be seen when shut," said Gimli. "They are invisible, and their own masters cannot find them or open them, if their secret is forgotten."  
  
"But this Door was not made to be a secret known only to Dwarves," said Gandalf, suddenly coming to life and turning round. "Unless things are altogether changed, eyes that know what to look for may discover the signs."  
  
"Did that make any sense to you?" Missy whispered to Becky who promptly shook her head.  
  
Gandalf walked forward to the wall. Right between the shadow of the trees there was a smooth space, and over this he passed his hands to and fro, muttering words under his breath. Then he stepped back.  
  
"Look!" he said. "Can you see anything now?"  
  
The Moon now shone upon the grey face of the rock; but they could see nothing else for a while. Then slowly on the surface, where the wizard's hands had passed, faint lines appeared, like slender veins of silver running in the stone. At first they were no more than pale gossamer- threads, so fine that they only twinkled fitfully where the Moon caught them, but steadily they grew broader and clearer, until their design could be guessed.  
  
"Well, let's see... Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight," Gandalf said. "It reads: The doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter."  
  
"What do you suppose that means?" Merry asked.  
  
"Oh, it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password, and the doors will open," Gandalf said and then lightly touched the silver star in the middle of the door with his staff.  
  
"Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen!" Gandalf cried.  
  
"Oh if only he knew," Becky rolled her eyes and plopped down onto a rock. "Time for some candy and coke."  
  
Becky ripped into a chocolate bar and opened a bottle of coke.  
  
Merry and Pippin immediately wandered over to her side.  
  
"Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa!" Gandalf tried another spell.  
  
"Mines are no place for a pony. Even one so brave as Bill," Aragorn said to Sam as he took all the baggage off the pony.  
  
"BILL!" Becky howled, running to Aragorn and Sam. The poor pony jumped about four feet into the air. "Don't go!!!!"  
  
Becky hugged the pony around the neck and sobbed into his mane.  
  
"Moria won't be the same without you!" Becky whimpered.  
  
Aragorn beckoned to Legolas and Boromir who came and carried off the hysterical fangirl.  
  
"Bye bye, Bill," Sam said, looking slightly depressed.  
  
"OH SAM!" Becky said, freeing herself from Legolas and Boromir's grasp and leaping to Sam. She pulled the hobbit into a bone-crushing hug. "Don't be depressed. You can have some of my pictures if I ever get out of Middle- Earth and find a photo developing place."  
  
"Go on, Bill. Go on. Don't worry Sam. He knows the way home," Aragorn said as he, Becky and Sam watched Bill trot off.  
  
Merry and Pippin were throwing stones into the water as Becky had run off just as they'd been about to get their candy and they were very miserable.  
  
"Do not disturb the water!" Aragorn said, grabbing Pippin just as he was about to fling a stone into the water.  
  
"Ooh! I love it when you say that!" Becky and Missy began jumping and shrieking to each other.  
  
Gandalf flops down and takes off his hat. "Oh, it's useless."  
  
"C'mon people. It's so easy," Missy said, really wanting to give them a hint. "Can't we tell them?"  
  
"You know how to get in?" Gimli said, staring at them in amazement.  
  
"FOOL OF A MISSY!" Becky shouted. "By the way, do you even know how to get the doors to open?"  
  
"Er, no," Missy said, blushing slightly. "But hey you know. You can tell them."  
  
The entire Fellowship except Frodo who was deep in thought, gathered around Becky.  
  
"Please tell us how we must open the doors," Gandalf asked kindly.  
  
"NO!" Becky said. "As much as I wanna it's just not right. I mean I can't be telling you'll what you must do all the way to Mordor can I?"  
  
"It's a riddle. Speak 'friend', and enter," Frodo realized. "What's the Elvish word for friend?"  
  
"Thank Elbereth. Someone figured it out!" Becky said, clapping loudly.  
  
"Mellon," Gandalf said and the doors opened slowly.  
  
"Here you go Frodo, sweetie," Becky said, slipping him a Twix bar as they headed into the mines. "That's for using that cute little curly hobbit head of yours."  
  
Frodo tucked away the candy bar in case of hard times. He was using all of his physical restraint not to eat it.  
  
"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves! Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone! This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A MINE!" Gimli laughed at the thought of the word 'mine.'  
  
Legolas blanched at the thought of 'ripe meat off the bone' but didn't say anything.  
  
"Like, I don't think my sweet Elf eats 'ripe meat off the bone'," Becky said. "Well I don't really know much about Legolas Greenleaf's eating habits but I do know Orlando Bloom is a vegetarian so perhaps Legolas is too. Are you a vegetarian? An omnivore? A carnivore? I didn't really pay attention to what you ate at mealtimes. Little too hungry myself or perhaps I was distracted by just the thought of you eating."  
  
"I eat meat," Legolas replied slowly. "Among other things but the idea of 'ripe meat off the bone' isn't all that appetizing."  
  
"Ookay. If you say so my sweet," Becky said, skipping along beside him.  
  
"This is no mine," Boromir said. "It's a tomb."  
  
They could suddenly see the rotting corpses of Dwarves and Orcs, covered in cobwebs.  
  
"No! Nooo! NOOOO!" Gimli moaned.  
  
"Yeppers, Yeppers, Yeppers," Becky replied.  
  
Legolas went over to a body and plucked out an arrow. "Goblins!"  
  
"Isn't he brilliantly smart?" Becky whispered to Missy who nodded and added, "Brilliant and hot. What a deadly combination."  
  
"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here! Now get out of here! Get out!!" Boromir said.  
  
"Like who died and made you King?" Becky shot back.  
  
Boromir blinked, taken aback by the meaning. He then glanced across at Aragorn and suddenly grabbed his wrist and pressed his fingers to it.  
  
"What are you doing?" Aragorn asked, trying to free his wrist.  
  
"Making sure you are alive," Boromir said, looking relieved but at the same time disappointed.  
  
"Oh pink fuzzy clouds," Becky rolled her eyes.  
  
As the Fellowship began to back out of the Mines, a tentacle shot out of the water and grabbed Frodo's leg and began pulling him into the water.  
  
The hobbits shouted for help while slashing at the creature with their swords. They manage to free Frodo but suddenly many more tentacles flew out of the water and grabbed Frodo, pulling him up into the air.  
  
Legolas shot at the creature with perfectly aimed arrows as Boromir and Aragorn entered the water and slashed at the Watcher in the Water's tentacles with their swords. Aragorn cuts off the tentacle that is holding Frodo and Boromir catches him.  
  
"INTO THE MINES!!!" Gandalf called.  
  
"Legolas! Into the cave!" Boromir called over his shoulder as Legolas shot at the Watcher one more time.  
  
Everyone scattered into the caves as the Watcher came out of the water and crumbled down the doors, shutting the Fellowship off from the light and the way out.  
  
"We now have but one choice," Gandalf said, the tip of his staff producing light. "We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world. Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Fellowship came to a wide arch opening into three passages.  
  
"I have no memory of this place," Gandalf said.  
  
"Wonderful," Becky said, sarcastically and plopped down unto a rock because she knew they had a long while to wait.  
  
"Are we lost?" Pippin whispered to Merry.  
  
"No," his cousin replied.  
  
"I think we are," Pippin said.  
  
"Shh! Gandalf's thinking," Merry scolded.  
  
"When did you get so responsible?" Becky asked.  
  
After a few moments silence Pippin whispered, "Merry?"  
  
"What?" Merry replied.  
  
"I'm hungry," Pippin said, widening his hobbity eyes and looking sho cute.  
  
"Yeah me too," Becky said. "Here have some Gummi Bears. Can't have you'll eating all the chocolate."  
  
Merry and Pippin gazed in fascination at the little multi-colored bears in their palms.  
  
Becky went over and plopped down next to her Legolas.  
  
"You looked so hot when you were firing those arrows," Becky told him, hugging him.  
  
"Thank you," Legolas said, not wishing to say more in fear that she'd either a) scream or b) faint or c) giggle insanely or most likely d) all of the above. After spending two weeks with the fangirls he'd found out many new meanings for simple everyday words. And he'd learned to really keep quiet and keep expressionless even more than usual. Even the simplest word or the hint of a smile or eyebrow lift would send Becky off into screams.  
  
Also every time he did something, including breathing, she would run after him and hug him to death. Legolas had never known Humans to like hugging so much.  
  
"And Aragorn was like, so totally divine when he was fighting with his sword," Becky went over to Aragorn and hugged him too. "You're so hot too."  
  
"Thank you," Aragorn replied.  
  
They had all learned that 'hot' now meant absolutely completely totally gorgeous and did not refer to the weather; 'fine' also meant gorgeous and also did not refer to the weather; 'ruled' did not mean that you were ruler over a kingdom it simply meant that you were the best.  
  
"And Boromir," Becky took one look at Boromir and burst into tears.  
  
Boromir looked uncomfortable and turned away. The girl had been doing this almost every time she saw him. If he greeted her, she'd burst into tears and hug him. He'd never met anyone who liked to hug and smother with kisses as much as she did.  
  
Frodo looked down and saw something crawling in a chasm far away. He hurried over to Gandalf and sat next to him.  
  
"There's something down there!" Frodo said to Gandalf.  
  
"It's Gollum," Gandalf replied matter-of-factly.  
  
"Gollum? Where?" Becky and Missy leapt to their feet and hurtled over to the chasm.  
  
"Shh! Not so loudly!" Gandalf called but it was too late. The other seven members of the Fellowship hurried over to see Gollum.  
  
"SMÉAGOL!" Becky howled loudly causing the crawling creature to leap in surprise and look up. "Say Milky Way!"  
  
There were several blinding flashes of light as Becky and Missy's cameras went off.  
  
Sméagol-Gollum blinked in shock and fainted, tumbling into the darkness.  
  
"Oops," Missy said, clamping a hand to her mouth.  
  
"Gollum?" Frodo said, eyes widening in surprise.  
  
"He's been following us for three days," Gandalf replied.  
  
"He escaped the dungeons of Barad-dûr?" Frodo asked, amazed.  
  
"Escaped? Or set loose," Gandalf said. "He hates and loves the Ring as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it."  
  
"It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance," Frodo said, suddenly becoming cold and very un-hobbity-Frodo-like.  
  
"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of the Ring."  
  
"Well you didn't hafta be so harsh on the poor witta hobbity," Becky said but Gandalf shot her a look and she fell silent.  
  
"I wish the Ring had never come to me," Frodo said. "I wish none of this had happened."  
  
"Ooh poor sweetie!" Becky said. "He needs a hug. Missy?"  
  
Becky and Missy swooped down on the hobbit and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Alright. On with you," Gandalf shooed them away.  
  
"So do all that come to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case you were also 'meant' to have it. And that is an encouraging thought," Gandalf said. "Ah - it's that way."  
  
"He's remembered!" Merry said.  
  
"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose," Gandalf said as he led them down the chosen passageway. "Let me risk a little more light."  
  
The light on his staff brightened and the Fellowship found themselves in a great hallway with tall pillars.  
  
"Pillars everywhere," Missy said disappointed. "This is boring!"  
  
"How dare you say that!" Becky knocked Missy on the head with her empty coke bottle. "Anyhoosa the interesting part is coming up."  
  
"Behold the great realm of the Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf," Gandalf said.  
  
"Hey if the Dwarves and Elves hated each other so much why is it DwarrowdELF?" Becky asked, even though she most likely knew the answer. "Huh Gandalf huh Gandalf huh?"  
  
"Legolas!" Gandalf called. "Would you please?"  
  
"Hello Becky," Legolas said, coming up behind her. "Sut naa vys?"  
  
Becky screamed and flung herself at him giggling.  
  
"Now there's an eye opener and no mistake," Sam said.  
  
"My eyes are open so they can't be opened anymore can they?" Becky asked and then poked her eyelids. "Owwie!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Whew! Done this chappy finally! Well what did you think? Thank you so much to all my reviewers. Your notes are further down. I think I might actually have another chapter up my tomorrow, I'm feeling ever so hyper. I ate chocolate icing *giggle* mixed with chocolate cake. Oh how Legolas must envy me.  
  
Translations: I do not know the translation for this-Naur an edraith ammen! Naur dan i ngaurhoth! If anyone knows please, please tell me!  
  
Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen!- Gate of the Elves open now for me!  
  
Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa!- Gate of Elves listen to my word, Threshold of Dwarves!  
  
Sut naa vys-How are you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Reply to reviews:  
  
Omnipotent Genghis Khan Sammid- Thanks so much for the reviews! You were my first reviewer. *hugs and throws candy* Yep Elves and beauty tips are my favorite things. Hopefully that might be in the third movie *winks* My darling Elf doesn't know me. *breaks down into tears*  
  
Missy-Well cousin? You only review once? ONCE? ONCE? Get over here and review right now!  
  
Aunty Marcia-*blushes* my family luvvs me!  
  
alliwantisanelfforchristmas- Of course I'm keeping the tunic and tights *dances in front of mirror tugging at the legs of the tights*. They're a bit long but I look GOOD. Also Aragorn was not getting a bath. He was just getting his hair washed and his nails manicured and his face washed. The idea of bathing him scares me *shudder* but Missy might like it *gets evil look on face*. Already totally bombed that Science test. Oh well. *Eats a piece of chocolate cake* Anyone want cake?  
  
Wandering-Ranger-*Hugs her* Finally got to review! I'm so happy!!! Glad you think it's a wonderful story. I do too *winks and giggles maniacally*  
  
Lily of the Shadow-Thanks for the compliment! Sort of I guess. Read part of the havoc in Moria. The madness shall continue in the next chappy which I'm trying to write as fast as I can but as soon as I'm finished you'll shall have it! 


	13. Chapter 12: The Bridge of Khazaddûm

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of The Rings nor do I own any of the characters or actors who play them. The only thing that I own is the story and myself, Becky.  
  
A\N: Becky Greenleaf here. Hope you enjoyed the previous chapter. This chapter is entirely movieverse. Thanks to all my reviewers. I didn't think I'd get this chapter to you'll so soon but you see we made on of those box chocolate cake things and we iced it ever so lavishly with dark chocolate icing but you see silly Daddy dearest let me cut my own slice for myself so now I'm so hyper I'll be up all NIGHT! Hey at least you'll benefit; you got two chappies in two days!  
  
Chapter 12: The Bridge of Khazad-dûm  
  
As the Fellowship walked on Becky and Missy began to skip and sing their very own horribly off-key version of "The Road goes ever on and on."  
  
"The Road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began! Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow if I caaaan!!!!" Becky wailed, skipping circles around Missy.  
  
"The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began! Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow if I caaaan!!!!" Missy imitated, skipping around Becky.  
  
"Aragorn? Legolas?" Gandalf said wearily.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn dutifully stepped over to Becky and Missy. "Hello."  
  
Becky shrieked and half-fainted. Legolas had to hold her up with one hand.  
  
Missy just stared at Aragorn and her eyes glazed over. She half-fainted too and Aragorn held her in place with one arm.  
  
"Thank the Valar," Legolas muttered. "Blessed silence."  
  
As soon as he said that Gimli spotted a door far off to the side. It was strewn with the bodies of dead Orcs. Gimli ran through the door and into a chamber.  
  
"GIMLI!" Gandalf called, more than a little exasperated now.  
  
"No! Oh no! No!" Gimli said, weeping. He was kneeling next to a table in the middle of the room on which lay a great slab of white stone which had many Dwarf runes upon it. The stone gave off an eerie light.  
  
"'Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria'," Gandalf read. "He's dead then. It is as I feared."  
  
Gandalf handed his staff and hat to Pippin who looked a little taken aback.  
  
He reached down to gently remove a book that was gripped in the hands of one of the skeletons.  
  
"We must move on. We cannot linger," Legolas whispered to Aragorn who nodded slightly.  
  
"Why don't you people listen to the extremely hot and soon to be the eldest of you all?" Becky asked, exasperated. "But no. No one ever listens to the immortal, wise, fair, hot, gorgeous, loveliest one of you all who could save all your lives if you'd listen TO HIM WHEN HE OPENS HIS GORGEOUS MOUTH TO SPEAK!"  
  
They all looked at Becky and blinked simultaneously.  
  
"Oh never mind," Becky said, hugging Legolas. "At least I listened to you, darling."  
  
"That thought gives me great comfort," Legolas replied, rolling his eyes at Aragorn over Becky's head.  
  
"They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming." Gandalf read.  
  
"Who's coming Gandalfy?" Missy asked, eyes wide.  
  
Becky left Legolas' side and whispered something to Missy who gulped in terror and leapt to Aragorn's side.  
  
Pippin touched a skeleton by a well and it fell in, dragging a bucket with it and making a great clamor of noise.  
  
Gandalf slammed the book shut and stormed over to Pippin. He grabbed back his hat and staff.  
  
"FOOL OF A TOOK!" Gandalf roared. "Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!"  
  
"Oh poor baby," Becky said, running forward and hugging the poor hobbit. "Sheesh. You didn't hafta be so harsh. Look at the poor thing. He's trembling!"  
  
Suddenly drums are heard and Sting glowed blue.  
  
"Orcs!" Legolas said.  
  
"Isn't he brilliantly smart?" Becky said, almost fainting.  
  
"Yes he is!" Missy said and caught her cousin just as she was about to hit the ground.  
  
"Get back! Stay close to Gandalf!" Aragorn called to the Hobbits.  
  
Boromir ran to shut the door and narrowly missed being shot in the head by two arrows.  
  
"They have a cave troll!" Boromir said.  
  
They begin barring the door with Legolas lightly tossing axes to them.  
  
"Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria that still draws breath," Gimli said from atop the tomb of Balin.  
  
"That's why my loveliness still has to save you," Becky said and received a glare from Gimli.  
  
The Orcs began trying to force into the chamber. Their hands begin appearing in holes in the door. Legolas shoots them with deadly precision. (A\N: what? I love him to death so he gets preference ;))  
  
Finally they burst through the door and begin attacking the Fellowship.  
  
Becky and Missy had been given Elven blades by Lords Elrond and Glorfindel but they hadn't really paid attention when Elrond had tried to teach the girls how to use them. Becky had kept her own wrapped in plastic in the same green box as her LOTR books and she'd also stolen Missy's to use as a mirror.  
  
So Becky and Missy did the next best thing they could do: scream. Among other things.  
  
Becky screeched and raced to her Legolas, pulling out her extra bottle of Herbal Essences hair spray as she ran.  
  
She had noticed Legolas' hair getting the slightest disarrayed while he'd been slashing at Orcs with is Elven blades.  
  
"Leggy!" she shrieked and he turned in surprise wondering if he really HAD to save her.  
  
Becky aimed for his hair but he ducked to avoid losing his head to an ugly Orc and the Orc got the full blast of Herbal Essences Hair Spray.  
  
The Orc spluttered and dropped to the ground.  
  
"I CAN FIGHT!" Becky yelled triumphantly.  
  
"I think I'm getting the hang of this!" Sam cried, knocking out several Orcs with his frying pan.  
  
Just then the cave troll came stomping in.  
  
Legolas was the first one to shoot: getting it in its chest.  
  
"You go my love!" Becky cheered loudly.  
  
"FRODO!" Aragorn yelled as the troll began to drag off Frodo.  
  
"Hey you leave the cute little hobbit alone!" Becky said, stomping over to Frodo's defense and yelling at the troll.  
  
"ARAGORN! ARAGORN!" Frodo yelled helplessly.  
  
"He is coming, sheesh," Becky rolled her eyes. "The guy's gotta save himself before he saves you yah know."  
  
"Frodo!" Aragorn cried. He managed to fight off the cave troll and thrust a spear into its chest but it did not pierce its thick hide. The troll hit Aragorn and throws him aside.  
  
"Hot Ranger Dude!" Becky and Missy howled simultaneously and dove to rescue Aragorn. "We are coming!"  
  
Frodo runs to Aragorn's side and faced the troll. It hurled a spear at Frodo and pinned him to the wall.  
  
Merry and Pippin jumped onto the troll's back stabbing at him with their little swords.  
  
Legolas shot the troll in the neck and it came crashing down slowly.  
  
"You go my sweet Elfy!" Becky hollered and ran to him, nearly crushing his bow in the process.  
  
"Hey! Not by bow!" Legolas cried holding his precious Mirkwood bow over his head. It had been a gift from his father and he didn't want it getting squashed.  
  
Aragorn crawled over to Frodo. "Oh no." He turned him over.  
  
"He's alive!" Sam said, looking amazed.  
  
"Well like duh he's alive. Like, Mithril," Becky said and Missy clamped a hand over her mouth. "Whoopsy daisy."  
  
"I'm all right. I'm not hurt," Frodo said.  
  
"You should be dead. That spear would have skewered a wild boar," Aragorn said.  
  
"Are you comparing the poor little hobbitsy to a boar?" Becky said. "I mean he's hairy and all but you didn't have to tell him that to his face."  
  
"LEGOLAS?" Gandalf said, through clenched teeth.  
  
"Becky dear," Legolas said causing Becky to scream and faint. Missy caught her in the nick of time.  
  
"I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye," Gandalf said with a knowing smile.  
  
Frodo unbuttoned his tunic to reveal his Mithril coat.  
  
"Mithril!" Gimli said, admiration obvious. "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins."  
  
Suddenly they heard more Orcs coming.  
  
"To the bridge of Khazad-dûm!" Gandalf yelled and the Fellowship began running, Becky and Missy with some difficulty as their platform shoes were getting a bit worn out.  
  
Soon they are surrounded by Orcs. Becky shivered and tucked herself between Gandalf and Legolas.  
  
The Fellowship was all ready to fight, swords and axe drawn, bow at the ready, staff and hair spray in hand.  
  
At the end of the hallway they spotted a red glow on the walls.  
  
The Orcs run and the Fellowship lowered their weapons in surprise.  
  
"What is this new devilry?" Boromir muttered.  
  
Gandalf paused to think for a moment. "A Balrog. A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you. Run!"  
  
The Fellowship took off running madly.  
  
Boromir gets to the front of the line but doesn't look where he is going and nearly tumbles off a gap in the stones. Luckily Legolas arrives in time and catches him but both of them toppled backwards.  
  
"My darling saves you and you nearly crush him!" Becky shrieked, estranged. "Get off him!"  
  
She tossed Boromir off him once again nearly sending the poor man hurtling off the stairs.  
  
"Gandalf?" Aragorn said.  
  
"Lead them on, Aragorn," Gandalf said. "The bridge is near."  
  
Aragorn stared at him, not fully comprehending.  
  
Gandalf pushed him away. "Do as I say! Swords are no more use here!"  
  
They ran for a while until they came to a break in the rock. Legolas immediately leapt over landing gracefully on the other side.  
  
"Oh that's it. Will you just marry me and stop torturing me with your hotness?" Becky begged, getting down on one knee and holding out a Milky Way bar.  
  
"I STILL DON'T KNOW YOU!" Legolas yelled at her. "Gandalf!" he motioned for Gandalf to jump over.  
  
Gandalf jumps and Legolas helped him over.  
  
"Hey how come you didn't call me over?" Becky asked, hands on hips. "I'm sure you'd catch the Milky Way bar instead of me wouldn't you?"  
  
Legolas chose to ignore her as at that moment Boromir leapt over with Merry and Pippin in his hands. The rock beneath them crumbled as they went.  
  
By that time Orcs were shooting at them but Legolas quickly pulled out his bow and arrows and were taking them out by the dozen.  
  
"Sam," Aragorn said and tossed him over.  
  
He motioned to toss Gimli but the Dwarf stopped him.  
  
"Nobody tosses a dwarf!" Gimli said and tried to leap over the gap but would've fallen into the abyss had Legolas not caught him by the beard. "Not the beard!!"  
  
"Becky, Missy," Aragorn motioned to fling them over the gap.  
  
"NO WAY!" Becky screamed. "NOT ON YOUR HOT RANGER DUDE LIFE! I AM NOT JUMPING THAT GAP!"  
  
"ME NEITHER!" Missy yelled and the cousins grabbed onto each other.  
  
"Come on," Legolas motioned to them. "Hurry!"  
  
"NO WAY!" Becky shouted again. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE OUTTA YOUR HOT ELVEN MIND? I AM SO TOTALLY COMPLETELY NO JUMPING THAT GAP. I'M NOT BEING TOSSED OVER EITHER."  
  
Aragorn realized that the stone stairs they were standing on were beginning to sway ever so slightly.  
  
"Come on. Please," Aragorn begged. "I beseech you please jump over or let me toss you!"  
  
"CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH ER WESTRON?" Becky glared daggers at Aragorn. "Perhaps you'd like it in Elvish. NYS! NYS! NYS! NO! NO! NO!"  
  
On the other side of the gap Gandalf had been whispering something to Legolas who was beginning to look extremely sullen with each word.  
  
"NO! Please anything but," Legolas begged.  
  
"It is the only way," Gandalf said but there was a slight smile underneath his beard. "I am sorry for doing this to you but we need to get the Ringbearer and Aragorn over here now."  
  
Legolas sighed in exasperation and then shouted back over to the four on the other side, "Becky! Yes, I will marry you."  
  
Becky shrieked in delight and immediately leapt over the gap, dragging her cousin with her.  
  
"AHHHH!" Missy shrieked as soon as her feet touched ground on the other side. She got down on her knees and began kissing the earth.  
  
"OH MY LEGOLAS! I knew you'd come fully to your senses one day," Becky said, hugging him. "I knew you'd finally agree to marry me! When my darling? Shall we get married now?"  
  
"Actually that was just a trick of Gandalf's to get you over here," Legolas said.  
  
"Oh," Becky said, sniffling. "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!!!"  
  
"Frodo!" Aragorn cried, realizing the stone steps were about to collapse. He grabbed Frodo by the back of his tunic. "Steady. Hold on!"  
  
The rock had begun to sway. "Hang on!"  
  
The top of stone broke away from the bottom bit, and fell at an angle, towards the bit of stone that the rest of the Fellowship was standing on.  
  
"Lean forward. Steady," Aragorn instructed Frodo.  
  
"Surfin' Middle-earth!" Becky shouted, giggling.  
  
"Come on! Now!" Legolas called.  
  
Frodo and Aragorn managed to get over onto the other side.  
  
"Over the bridge! Fly!" Gandalf yelled.  
  
The Fellowship runs over the bridge, Becky and Missy being dragged by Aragorn and flapping their arms and going "Caw, Caw."  
  
While the others continue onwards, Gandalf stops in the middle of the bridge and faced the Balrog.  
  
"You cannot pass!" Gandalf said firmly.  
  
"GANDALF!" Becky and Frodo howled at the same time.  
  
Becky would have taken off after Gandalf except that Aragorn, Legolas and Missy were holding her in place.  
  
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn! Go back to the Shadow!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" Gandalf shouted, bringing down his staff in the middle of the bridge. The bridge broke and the Balrog fell.  
  
Gandalf sighed and turned around but the Balrog's whip catches onto his ankle and pulls him down. He grabbed onto the edge of the bridge but could not keep his grip.  
  
"NO! NO!" Boromir yelled, holding onto Frodo who tried to run after Gandalf.  
  
"GANDALF!!!!!" Frodo and Becky yelled. At that moment Becky leapt free of Missy and began running towards the bridge. "NO!"  
  
"Becky! NO!" Legolas shouted and grabbed the back of her shirt, holding her in place. "Stop!"  
  
Becky was struggling to go after Gandalf; she didn't care if it was completely messed up if Gandalf didn't 'fall' and he came with them to Lothlórien.  
  
"Fly, you fools!" Gandalf said and then he fell.  
  
"NO!!!! NO!!!" Frodo howled as Boromir carried him away.  
  
The Fellowship takes off with Legolas and Missy dragging Becky and Boromir dragging Frodo. The only one who remained was Aragorn still staring into the abyss.  
  
"ARAGORN!" Boromir called, still holding the sobbing Frodo.  
  
The Fellowship emerged out of the darkness of Moria into the midst of the Dimrill Dale where they stood in the brilliant sunshine.  
  
Sam sits on a rock and begins to weep, head in his hands; Boromir comforted Gimli; Merry consoled his weeping, younger cousin; and Legolas stood nearby, a look of utter disbelief on his fair features.  
  
By now Becky had stopped crying because she comforted herself by saying they'd see him soon (though without Boromir, Merry and Pippin) and they'd be going to Lothlórien where Haldir was!  
  
Aragorn wiped his sword with a stroke and but it back in it's sheath.  
  
"Legolas, get them up!" Aragorn said and Legolas looked at him in surprise but nevertheless went to Becky and Missy.  
  
"Give them a moment for pity's sake!" Boromir said.  
  
"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs. We must reach the woods of Lothlórien. Come Boromir. Legolas, Gimli, get them up," Aragorn said. He walked over to Sam and helped him to his feet. "On your feet, Sam."  
  
He saw Frodo who had wandered far from the company and called to him.  
  
"GET YO HOBBIT BUT BACK HERE!" Becky yelled loudly, causing everyone to jump and Frodo to turn.  
  
A single tear ran down the Hobbit's face.  
  
"POOR BABY!" Becky yelled and ran after him, enveloping him in a hug. "POOR THING!"  
  
Missy ran after her and joined the hug.  
  
"Come on," Aragorn called to the rest of the Fellowship. "We must hurry."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please, please read and review. Up next Chapter 13: Lothlórien!!!! Galadriel, Celeborn AND HALDIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	14. Chapter 13: Lothlórien

Author's Note: Yep. Becky Greenleaf here once again typing to you. If you'll are lucky you might get two chapters as I have a three day weekend *does happy dance*. Thank you to all those who reviewed my story. Much hugs and chocolate to you. Also I have a HUGE question to ask you people, should I make Lothlórien only one or two chapters or expand it some more and wreak havoc in the Golden Wood? Please review and tell me what you think. I already have my ideas in plan for what the new chapters will be and also for The Two Towers. So please, please review and tell me what I should do for the next chapter. BYE!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE STORY AND MYSELF. THE LORD OF THE RINGS BELONGS TO J.R.R. TOLKIEN NOT ME!!!! I DO NOT OWN LEGOLAS, ARAGORN, FRODO ETC. MISSY BELONGS TO HERSELF. HOWEVER I DO OWN THE SONG THAT I SING ABOUT HALDIR AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO BORROW IT FEEL FREE TO ASK.  
  
This chapter is entirely movieverse and when I had first completed it was SO SHORT. I said no way! I couldn't do that to my faithful readers so I said I shall put some more insaneness and make this chapter nice and long(er) for you. I really wanted to put in some bookverse but then I realized it completely wouldn't make sense if I put in certain pieces as I really wanted us to meet up with Haldir the way they did in the movie. And yeah I know we only see three Elves when the Fellowship meets them in the woods of Lothlórien. I added more for interesting purposes ;)  
  
Chapter 13: Lothlórien  
  
"We're going to Lothlórien where we're gonna have fun!" Becky sang loudly. "We're gonna have fun! Guess who I'm gonna see?"  
  
"Er, Cate Blanchett?" Missy asked, not really knowing who that scary chick with the long blond hair was.  
  
"NO YOU FOOL OF A MISSY! HALDIR!" Becky said, sighing joyfully. "That lovelyful Haldir. So Haldir-like. Another one of my loves."  
  
Becky sighed again and nearly tripped over her own feet. She grabbed onto Legolas and Aragorn for support and nearly sent the three of them head over heels.  
  
"I'M GONNA SEE HALDIR!" she screamed at the woods of Lothlórien which stood before them. "DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL THAT'S GONNA BE??"  
  
Legolas rolled her eyes and tried to block out the sound of Becky's awful singing. She had now launched into a new song.  
  
"Where oh where is my Haldir? Where in the Middle-Earth can he be?" Becky sang, clapping to the beat of her song. "Where oh where is Haldir? Why has he gone from me? Where oh where is my silvery blond who 'died' but really wasn't supposed to? Oh where oh where is Haldir where has he gone from me?"  
  
"BE QUIET!" the entire Fellowship yelled at her and Becky fell silent. She poked out her lip and sniffled miserably.  
  
"Okay, okay," Aragorn said, feeling bad. "We didn't mean that. It's just that we are overwhelmed by grief at the moment."  
  
"We didn't mean that?" Legolas repeated in amazement. "Speak for yourself, Human Boy."  
  
Becky grinned and hugged Legolas and Aragorn. "I wuv you Ranger Dude! And you too Elfy!"  
  
"Good Elbereth," Legolas said and dashed to the back of the line.  
  
"Ants in his tights?" Missy asked, coming up to her cousin.  
  
"Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell," Gimli said.  
  
"What is with you bloody Dwarves and your issues with Elves?!" Becky said, eyes narrowing dangerously.  
  
"Legolas?" Gimli said, not really minding that Becky was completely insulting him and the Dwarves. He didn't really mind her insane babbling and he'd gotten so used to the fact that whatever she said didn't really make much sense at all. For example, she was always saying that Aragorn really, really needed a bath but the next second she was hugging him to death.  
  
Legolas shot a death glare at Gimli but nevertheless stalked over to Becky's side and with a pasted smile on his face said, "Hello."  
  
"Aiiieeee!" Becky screeched and half-swooned. She tripped over her own feet and landed in a not so graceful pile on the ground.  
  
"Frodo!" Frodo heard a voice inside his head and he gasped in surprise.  
  
"And are never seen again," Gimli said, continuing.  
  
"You are coming to us as the footsteps of doom... You bring great evil here, Ring-bearer," Galadriel murmured once again in Frodo's mind.  
  
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox," Gimli boasted.  
  
Suddenly Elves appeared, covering the Fellowship with arrows.  
  
Haldir opened his mouth to speak but he barely got out the first word before Legolas began screaming at him hysterically.  
  
"RUN HALDIR RUN! Run if you value your life!" Legolas yelled at him.  
  
"GO HALDIR GO! Go before she awakes," Aragorn said, gesturing to Becky who was still half-swooned.  
  
Haldir looked at them in amazement and lifted an eyebrow. He looked at the two strangely attired girls and walked over to get a better look at them but at that instant Becky opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Haldir.  
  
She burst into hysterical screams and tried to fight off Boromir, Legolas and Aragorn who were holding her down. "I'm coming my other sweet!"  
  
"The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark," Haldir said, taking several steps backward as Becky managed to shove off one of Boromir's hands.  
  
"Haldir o Lórien. Henio aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn," Aragorn said. "Haldir, I think that you should run. Run and DO NOT COME BACK. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"  
  
"Actually Haldir it is you who will need our protection and our help," Legolas assured Haldir.  
  
"Aragorn! These woods are perilous. We should go back," Gimli said. "Haldir. You really, really should run if you want to live any longer."  
  
"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come. She is waiting," Haldir said, turning to go. "I cannot go anywhere. I must escort you to Caras Galadhon."  
  
Suddenly, Becky let out a war cry and shoved off Boromir, Legolas and Aragorn. She screamed a fangirl scream and launched at Haldir.  
  
"RUN!" Legolas yelled but Becky had grabbed a handful of Haldir's hair and was pulling on it. With the other hand she'd gotten hold of his tunic and was tugging him along.  
  
Rúmil and Orophin tried to free their brother but Becky had a death grip and now Missy had joined in holding down Haldir.  
  
Becky began to claw at Haldir's brothers and in her haste to try to pluck out some silvery blond Elven hair from their heads, she released Haldir but Missy grabbed him for her.  
  
"Hannon le, cousin!" Becky said and pulled the three Elves into a hug. "I just love Elves. Elves are so cool. Elves so rule!"  
  
Suddenly a number of Elves appeared out of nowhere and tugged Becky and Missy away from Haldir. The cousins stopped in amazement and stared at the Lothlórien Elves. Then they just leapt at them and began hugging random Elves.  
  
"I JUST LUV ELVES!" Becky proclaimed loudly, nearly squeezing to death two random Elves.  
  
"GO HALDIR!" Legolas yelled. "You're free!"  
  
Haldir leapt away in surprise but he could not leave his brothers at the mercy of these creatures.  
  
Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir took hold of Becky and Missy and tugged them off Rúmil and Orophin.  
  
Haldir took off like a bolt of lightning, Rúmil and Orophin not far behind.  
  
"MY SWEET! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Becky howled, taking off immediately after them. She was running slowly (as usual, hehe I'm always in a dream world) and Haldir, Rúmil and Orophin were slowly becoming smaller and smaller.  
  
"We're losing them!" Missy yelled, not far behind Becky.  
  
Legolas muttered something in Elvish to an Elf who nodded and gave a command to the others.  
  
Seconds later they all sprang forward and quicker than light took off after Becky and Missy. They caught the cousins easily and came back literally dragging them.  
  
"NO! I demand you put me down right now!" Becky said, kicking like a wild animal. "That's my Haldirykins! I need to get to my Haldirykins!"  
  
"Come," an Elf said. "We shall lead you to the Lord and the Lady of the Wood."  
  
And with that the Fellowship followed the Elves who were still holding the screaming and kicking Becky and Missy to Caras Galadhon where the Lord, Lady and a very afraid Haldir awaited them.  
  
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Translations: Haldir o Lórien. Henio aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn- Haldir of Lorien. We come here for help. We need your protection.  
  
Well what did you think? Hehehe. Haldir fans don't worry. There will be more of Haldir in the next chapter. And maybe there will be another chapter with more of him. If I get at least three reviews saying that, I will. ;) 


	15. Chapter 14: The Mirror of Galadriel or M...

A\N: Okay so I didn't really wait for any feedback before I started typing this chapter but hey, anyway. Lotsa Haldir in this chapter *does the chicken dance* Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to all my reviewers. It really means a lot, a lot, a lot to me.  
  
I'm beginning to do official chapter dedications from Chapter 15. Certain reviewers will have chapters dedicated to them. Those will be the people who reviewed most so you know go review to get a chapter dedicated to YOU! (Yeah, yeah it's a cheap bribe tactic but hey, you get a chapter dedicated to you and I get to write more. YAY!)  
  
This is part bookverse of The Mirror of Galadriel and also part movieverse. Sorry if this does not actually have the part with the mirror. (Scroll down to the end of this chappy to read my note.) Have had to change around bookverse a bit as Haldir had run for his life ;)  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR MYSELF.  
  
Chapter 14: The Mirror of Galadriel or Maybe Not  
  
PART I: Bookverse  
  
"HALDIR!" Becky sniffed pathetically as she was toted along Cleopatra style by several Elves. "Where is my shweet?"  
  
"Hey I could get used to this kinda service," Missy commented. She beckoned to an Elf and he dropped a piece of Milky Way bar into her mouth. The Elf looked about ready to use Becky and Missy for target practice.  
  
The sun was sinking behind the mountains, and the shadows were deepening in the woods, when they went on again. Their paths now went into thickets where the dusk had already gathered. Night came beneath the trees as they walked, and the Elves uncovered their silver lamps.  
  
"Ooh! A lamp!" Becky grabbed for one but the Elves quickly moved them out of her reach. "NO!"  
  
"Are we there yet?" Becky asked.  
  
"No," Legolas said.  
  
Suddenly they came out into the open again and found themselves under a pale evening sky pricked by a few early stars. They came to a wide treeless space before them, running in a great circle and bending away on either hand. Beyond it was a deep fosse lost in soft shadow, but the grass upon its brink was green, as if it glowed still in memory of the sun that had gone. Upon the further side there rose to a great height a green wall encircling a green hill thronged with mallorn-trees taller than any they had yet seen in all the land. Their height could not be guessed, but they stood up in the twilight like living towers. In their many-tiered branches and amid their ever-moving leaves countless lights were gleaming, green and gold and silver. The leader of the group turned to the Company.  
  
"Welcome to Caras Galadhon!" he said. "Here is the city of the Galadhrim where dwell the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel the Lady of Lórien. But we cannot enter here, for the gates do not look northward. We must go round to the southern side, and the way is not short, for the city is great."  
  
"Come on my loyal slaves," Becky clapped her hands together. "Let's MOVE kids. NOW!!"  
  
The Elves rolled their eyes but nevertheless continued carrying them, as it was the only way to stop Becky and Missy from trying to hug them and to keep them from running after Haldir.  
  
There was a road paved with white stone running on the outer brink of the fosse. Along this they went westward, with the city ever climbing up like a green cloud upon their left; and as the night deepened more lights sprang forth, until all the hill seemed afire with stars. They came at last to a white bridge and crossing found the great gates of the city: they faced south-west, set between the ends of the encircling wall that here overlapped, and they were tall and strong, and hung with many lamps.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Becky asked, seeing that they'd stopped.  
  
"No," Aragorn replied, getting a little irritated.  
  
The head Elf knocked and spoke, and the gates opened soundlessly; but of guards Frodo could see no sign. The travellers passed within, and the gates shut behind them. They were in a deep lane between the ends of the wall, and passing quickly through it they entered the City of the Trees. No folk could they see, nor hear any feet upon the paths; but there were many voices, about them, and in the air above. Far away up on the hill they could hear the sound of singing falling from on high like soft rain upon leaves.  
  
"WE'RE NOT THERE YET??" Becky whined and she stuck out her lower lip.  
  
"SHH!" Legolas shouted. There had been a few precious moments of silence but the girl HAD to go and open her mouth to speak.  
  
They went along many paths and climbed many stairs, until they came to the high places and saw before them amid a wide lawn a fountain shimmering. It was lit by silver lamps that swung from the boughs of trees, and it fell into a basin of silver, from which a white stream spilled. Upon the south side of the lawn there stood the mightiest of all the trees; its great smooth bole gleamed like grey silk, and up it towered, until its first branches, far above, opened their huge limbs under shadowy clouds of leaves. Beside it a broad white ladder stood, and at its foot three Elves were seated. They sprang up as the travellers approached, and Frodo saw that they were tall and clad in grey mail, and from their shoulders hung long white cloaks.  
  
"Here dwell Celeborn and Galadriel," said the nameless lead Elf. "It is their wish that you should ascend and speak with them."  
  
One of the Elf-wardens then blew a clear note on a small horn, and it was answered three times from far above. "I will go first," said the nameless lead Elf. "Let Frodo come next and with him Legolas. The others may follow as they wish. It is a long climb for those that are not accustomed to such stairs, but you may rest upon the way."  
  
"No way," Becky stated. "Missy and I are going first and you can't stop us!"  
  
At that instant Becky and Missy leapt from the clutches of the Elves and dove at the white ladder. They raced a little way up though with some difficulty from their platform shoes. The Elves were hot on their trail until Becky and Missy 'casually' dropped some Milky Way bars.  
  
The rest of the Fellowship leaped up the ladder, tossing the poor Lothlórien Elves off. They scrambled around, grabbing bars of candy, not caring about their behavior.  
  
The cousins ran up the stairs giggling loudly and maniacally as they did.  
  
Far up above, the cousins reached a wide talan. A house was built on it and when they entered they found they were in a chamber of oval shape, in the midst of which the trunk of the great mallorn, now tapering towards its crown, and yet making still a pillar of wide girth.  
  
On two chairs beneath the bole of the tree and canopied by a living bough there sat, side by side, Celeborn and Galadriel.  
  
Part II: Movieverse  
  
Galadriel and Celeborn clasp hands and come slowly down the stairs to greet their guests. They are enveloped in a white light.  
  
At the foot of the stairs, a little way off to the left, stood a frightened looking Haldir.  
  
The cousins were momentarily distracted by Celeborn and Galadriel and Haldir thanked the Valar greatly for that.  
  
"Eight that there are here, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me-" Celeborn's voice died as he eyed the group in front of him more closely.  
  
"Wait!" Celeborn said, counting them. "Ten that are here, yet nine set out from Rivendell. No, no! That's not right. Eight that ARE SUPPOSED to be here yet nine WAS SUPPOSED to have set out from Rivendell."  
  
"Eh, I think Elrondie must have been filching Hot Ranger Dude's pipeweed when he sent you those messages," Missy said.  
  
"Ten that are here, yet eleven set out from Rivendell," Becky provided helpfully.  
  
"Thank you," Celeborn smiled slightly at them and nodded his head. "Ten that are here, yet eleven there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him."  
  
"He has fallen into Shadow," Galadriel said, looking at Aragorn who gave the barest of nods. "The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail to the ruin of all." At that she looked at Boromir who began to shiver uncontrollably and slowly looked away. "Yet hope remains while the Company is true." At this she looked at Sam.  
  
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace," Galadriel said, her eyes focusing on Frodo.  
  
"Welcome, Frodo of the Shire," Galadriel said in Frodo's mind. "One who has seen the Eye!"  
  
At that instant Becky saw Haldir and she screamed uncontrollably. She dove at him and Haldir also screamed in horror.  
  
He leapt as fast as lightning and ran to hide behind Galadriel and Celeborn.  
  
"Haldir," Celeborn said, lifting an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Save me, my Lord," Haldir begged, squeezing himself between the shoulders of Galadriel and Celeborn. "My Lady, have mercy on me."  
  
"Come here Haldir!" Becky and Missy swooped for him again but Celeborn and Galadriel shielded him from the maniacal cousins.  
  
"Haldir why must we save you?" Galadriel asked simply.  
  
"They're crazy!" Haldir said, peeking out from behind the Lord and the Lady. "They nearly strangled me to death. They tried to pull out my hair. They also attacked Rúmil and Orophin!"  
  
"We're not crazy Haldir sweetie," Becky said. "We just want a hug from you."  
  
"Well they don't seem to be crazy," Celeborn said. "Their attire is strange and their manner of speaking is odd but other than that they seem normal."  
  
"NORMAL?" Aragorn said. "IS THAT WHAT YOU PEOPLE CALL NORMAL? THEY'RE INSANE!!"  
  
"Elessar," Galadriel chided softly.  
  
"Sorry," Aragorn said and then muttered under his breath, "Granny dear."  
  
"Please Haldir we just wanna hug," Missy said, sticking out her lower lip and putting on her best innocent look.  
  
"Haldir. They are just children," Galadriel said. "What harm can they do?" she had a half-smile on her face as if she secretly knew all that they had done.  
  
"MUCH!" Legolas replied. "Why do you think I am wearing the same thing since we left Rivendell? She stole my tunic and tights!" He pointed at Becky.  
  
"She stole your tunic and tights?" Celeborn asked, his lips curving into a smile. "Whatever for?"  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Legolas shouted.  
  
Becky and Missy used that moment as a diversion tactic and swooping round Galadriel and Celeborn they grabbed Haldir.  
  
Becky enveloped him a stifling hug and smothered the frightened Elf in kisses.  
  
"Ooh! I love you so much Haldirykins. It don't matter what Peter Jackson did in The Two Towers," Becky said. "You will always live on for me!"  
  
"DEAR VALAR SOMEONE HAVE MERCY ON ME!" Haldir begged.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other and shrugged. "This happens to us a hundred times a day," Aragorn said. "We've gotten used to it."  
  
"Alright," Galadriel said, placing a hand on Becky's shoulder. "I think that Haldir has had enough."  
  
Becky pouted but let go of Haldir as she had great respect for the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien.  
  
"Do not worry. You will see Haldir as much as you like later or tomorrow," Galadriel said and a shell-shocked Haldir gazed at her in amazement.  
  
"I always knew you were cool!" Becky said and she tossed bars of chocolate at Galadriel and Celeborn. "Taste these! They so rule!"  
  
"Interesting," Galadriel pried off the wrappings. "Haldir will lead you to your resting area."  
  
"NO!!!!!!" Haldir begged as Becky eyed him with an evil look in her eyes.  
  
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Whaddya think? I really wanted to put the mirror scene in this chapter but that will be in later chapters because they are going to be more chappies in Lórien! YAY! I decided that all by myself but for all who reviewed thanks a million! Please read and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. 


	16. Chapter 15: Party in Lothlórien

A\N: SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY. Sorry for such a long hiatus. Last week was the second to last week of school and it was VERY VERY VERY busy as evil teachers suddenly decide to pile MORE work on you. Please forgive me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you my reviewers. I luv you guys. Your notes are at the end of this chapter. *hugs and chocolate*  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MYSELF AND THIS STORY. I MAKE NO MONEY OFF THIS. Also no animals were harmed in the writing of this chapter. (I love animals. How can I possibly harm one?)  
  
Oh yeah and the chant doesn't make sense to me either. Go figure. It was supposed to be all about the chicken but I felt bad and changed it to roof. Also Missy is referring to the chicken dance not an actual chicken. Missy's not that insane ;) whoops! I've said too much!  
  
WAIT! Do you remember that I said I'm doing dedications, starting from Chapter 15? Well here it is.  
  
CHAPTER 15: PARTY IN LOTHLÓRIEN IS DEDICATED TO OMNIPOTENT GENGHIS KHAN SAMMID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
You were my very FIRST reviewer. Many thanks and hugs and chocolate to you. To the others do not worry. Review more and I'll get you up there for a chapter ;) Also if you're wondering why some people got dedications before you did, check my previous chapters!!!! (I doubt you'd be wondering.)  
  
Chapter 15: Party in Lothlórien  
  
It was early the next morning and Becky and Missy were prowling around restlessly. They had had an absolutely sleepless night as the BLOODY ELVES SANG SO BLOODY MUCH!  
  
Finally, as they were about to give up and go in hunt of Haldir, Legolas and Aragorn, an idea struck.  
  
"Missy! Party!" was all Becky could say.  
  
"What?!" Missy said, looking at her cousin oddly.  
  
"We could throw a party. A BIG party," Becky said, the ideas coming to her. "Right here in Lothlórien."  
  
"In the tree house?" Missy asked, mentally sizing up the tree house in her head.  
  
"No. that would be too small," Becky said, thinking. "We need somewhere big. REAL BIG."  
  
"Let's go ask Celeborn and Galadriel," Missy said. "Maybe they'll know of a location."  
  
The cousins squealed in delight and skipped off in search of the Lord and Lady.  
  
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"A celebration you say?" Galadriel said, looking interested. "That sounds.interesting."  
  
"Not a celebration Galadriel dear. A PAR-TAY!" Becky said, jumping up and down joyfully.  
  
"That does not sound like a bad idea," Celeborn said. "We haven't had a. party in the Golden Wood since the summer of 2530 of the Third Age I believe."  
  
Becky and Missy looked at each other and giggled maniacally as Legolas and Haldir glanced at each other and blushed.  
  
"And the rest of the Fellowship has agreed with us," Missy said, gesturing to the half-asleep Fellowship that had trudged up the tree after them. "Right guys?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Aragorn muttered and nodded, grinding the sleep out of his eyes.  
  
"Yeah. Wha'ever you say," Frodo said, yawning loudly.  
  
"There's gonna be lots of FOOD!" the cousins yelled simultaneously and all the hobbits snapped to attention.  
  
"FOOD?" they repeated as if in a daze.  
  
"FOOD," Becky assured them. Then she turned back to Celeborn and Galadriel. "Where can we have it?"  
  
"Why not the place where Haldir had his celebration?" Galadriel said, aiming her eyes at Haldir who blushed again. "Haldir?"  
  
"Well, there's this huge clearing not too far from Caras Galadhon," Haldir said. "That's the place."  
  
"Great. Lead us to it honey," Becky demanded and Haldir reluctantly trudged out of the tree house, Becky, Missy, Galadriel, Celeborn and the rest of the Fellowship at their heels.  
  
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A half-an-hour later they arrived at the huge clearing.  
  
"Ooh.it's sho pretty!" Becky leapt up and down joyfully. "And it's just the right size!"  
  
"Let's get to work!" Missy said and she popped open a suitcase. She pulled out a notebook and a pen.  
  
She made a quick checklist and then began yelling out orders to the Elves that they had accumulated during their trip between the tree house and the field.  
  
"Okay, I need four tables," she shouted at two. "And we need some Lembas. We definitely need that."  
  
"We need to start writing up the invites," Missy said and she and Becky nodded at each other. "Sam and Frodo you'll help deliver. Not so sure we could trust Merry and Pippin with that."  
  
"Okay Haldir, Galadriel and Celeborn will write up our banner which we will hang from those trees," Missy pointed at the trees and two Elves hurried to mark them with bright gold star shaped stickers, a gift from Becky.  
  
"Legolas and Aragorn will hang it," Missy said. "Boromir, Gimli and oh no we're gonna regret this, Merry and Pippin will help with the food."  
  
Merry and Pippin cheered loudly while everyone else groaned.  
  
"Okay that's about everything. Let's start writing," Becky said as the tables arrived on the backs of several Elves. They set them down and the cousins pulled out paper and colorful pens and began scribbling out invitations.  
  
"Oh no!" Haldir groaned to himself as he turned to go by Galadriel and Celeborn who were at the moment experimenting with these 'odd, lovely colorful things' otherwise known as Jelly Roll pens on some extra sheets of paper. "This is going to be disastrous."  
  
"Actually no," Legolas said, surprising himself. "They throw wonderful parties. Aragorn, we should tell them about the one in Rivendell."  
  
"Ah yes," Aragorn said but then his face changed. "Oh no. Please don't tell him about Arwen."  
  
"Oh! I'd nearly forgotten," Legolas said and with an evil smile turned to Haldir, "You will never believe what she sang to him!"  
  
"LEGOLAS!"  
  
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Later that evening at a timeless time because obviously they were in Lothlórien where time didn't really matter, Becky and Missy hurried about checking on things. They were dressed in flowing Lothlórien dresses quite like the white one Galadriel owned except their own was purple and the cousins kept tripping over the hems.  
  
"The banner looks lovely Haldir darling," Becky said, coming up behind the poor Elf and wrapping him a strangling hug.  
  
"Galadriel and Celeborn helped," Haldir said, struggling to free himself. "Go hug them."  
  
"No. I have rule about hugging regal REALLY ancient people," Becky said. "Especially if they're blond and Elf-witches and eh, husbands of blond Elf- witches."  
  
"But what the hey? I luv to hug people," Becky let go of Haldir and ran over to Celeborn and Galadriel. She enveloped them into a strangling hug and buried her face in their silver and golden hair respectively.  
  
Galadriel and Celeborn stared down at her in shock, as it was not a custom for them to hug and be hugged by people they'd known for less than twenty- four hours. But nevertheless they smiled and hugged her in return.  
  
"Now that's scary. She's even getting them to like her!" Haldir shuddered.  
  
"They got Elrond of all people to like them," Aragorn said. "And Lord Elrond has a new name: Elrondie."  
  
"ELRONDIE?!" Haldir gasped in amazement. He doubled over in hysterical laughter. "ELRONDIE?"  
  
"Where? Where?" Missy said, looking around in earnest. "ELRONDIE?"  
  
Just then the guests began to arrive and Becky and Missy hurried to hand out the little party bags they'd prepared.  
  
"Ooh! Chocolate!" Aragorn and Legolas said simultaneously. They headed over to Becky and Missy, smiles plastered across their faces.  
  
"They are probably going to come back empty-handed," Haldir said with a slight smile but all traces of the smile dropped when they returned laden down with the party bags.  
  
"How the--?" Haldir gazed at them in shock as they began to rip into the candy bars. "What're those things?"  
  
"Chocolate," Legolas replied around a mouthful of Milky Way. "They didn't give you any? They must've forgot."  
  
"Go ask them," Aragorn said. "They love to share."  
  
Haldir made his way over to the cousins who immediately screamed and surrendered several bags to him.  
  
Very soon the party was underway and many Elves were dancing in the clearing. A band of Elves were singing causing Becky and Missy to begin dancing on top a table. They pulled up the Hobbits to join them and the six were now doing the chicken dance.  
  
"The roof! The roof!" Becky cried, hopping around the table on one leg.  
  
"No! The chicken! The chicken! The chicken is on fire!" Missy yelled. "We don't need no water let the chicken burn, baby, burn!"  
  
"A chicken is on fire?" Boromir asked, glancing around for the chicken.  
  
"A chicken is on fire?" Legolas repeated, a little dizzy from the Elven wine and the bottles of Coke the cousins had once again provided. A little memory tugged at the back of his mind. Something he'd vowed to do after that party in Rivendell but for the life of him, he couldn't remember. "I thought the roof was on fire."  
  
"We have a roof?" Aragorn asked, lifting his head and staring up at the night sky.  
  
"No shweetie. That's just a saying," Becky called. "Come up and dance with us!"  
  
Becky and Missy leapt off of the table, grabbed Legolas, Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship and dragged them up onto the table too.  
  
"Let's boogie, my Elfykerns!" Becky cried, starting the chicken dance all over again. "Come on. Don't tell me you can't do the chicken dance. You must be able to!"  
  
"Now ya'll Elves in the house," Becky cried, waving her arms. "Say it with me. The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We don't need no water let the roof burn, baby, burn!"  
  
"The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We don't need no water let the roof burn, baby, burn!" the Elves chanted sounding very weird.  
  
"Come on Lady Galadriel! I'm sure you have a real good voice," Missy prompted to Galadriel who had remained silent while her people and her husband loudly chanted.  
  
"The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! We don't need no water let the roof burn, baby, burn!" Galadriel repeated, a little falteringly.  
  
"Good! That's a start!" Becky said, encouragingly and then turned back to the Elves. "Let's get back to PARTAYING!"  
  
Becky grabbed Boromir and began teaching him the chicken dance while Missy demonstrated to Gimli.  
  
Legolas had been dancing by himself when a group of teenage Elf girls (who were really corrupt fan girls from Earth) gathered around the table and screamed at him, "Oh Legolas. You're so cute! You're so hot! Will you dance with us?"  
  
They reached up, jumping up and down screaming and tried to grab his blond hair and any piece of his garments.  
  
"Get away! He's mine!" Becky grabbed Legolas. "Get away!"  
  
Becky batted all their hands away and hugged Legolas tightly, "Grrr. If any of you come closer: NO MORE CHOCOLATE."  
  
The Elf girls immediately backed away but they glared daggers at Becky who stuck out her tongue and threw empty candy bar wrappers at them.  
  
But as soon as Becky had turned her back to help Boromir finish off the chicken dance, the Elf girls made a grab for Legolas again. They succeeded in latching onto his green robes and dragging him half off the table.  
  
"What in the Middle-Earth?" Legolas cried.  
  
Becky immediately turned around and she and Missy came to his rescue.  
  
They began throwing empty candy bar wrappers and empty wine bottles in the direction of the group of Elf girls. The Elves immediately took off, shrieking.  
  
"That'll teach them Lothlórien Elves to stay away from my sweet prince," Becky said, hugging him tightly. "See? I saved you! Now you owe your life to me." At this Becky smiled insanely.  
  
"Er I hope not," Legolas murmured quietly to himself.  
  
Just then Haldir's brothers, Rúmil and Orophin arrived a few minutes late.  
  
Becky screamed when she saw them and leapt off table, howling, "I LOVE YOU!"  
  
The two Elves promptly screamed and took off running in the direction of a cliff.  
  
"Hmm.what scared them?" Becky asked Missy and her cousin shrugged.  
  
Then the batches of Lembas began arriving and Becky immediately forgot about the brothers and tore into the Lembas as if she'd never seen food.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Becky spotted the Elves pouring out the bottles of Elven wine into punch bowls and an evil idea struck. She leaned over and whispered something into Missy's ear and Missy nodded with a gleeful smile.  
  
As the Elves launched into another "the roof! The roof!" the cousins slunk stealthily over to the bowls and silently poured a black fizzy substance in and then walked away innocently grinning.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MWAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I decided to end the chapter there out of pure evilness. HEHEHEHEHEEEH. I am feeling hyper now! Yeah, I know. The chapter sucked. I'm sure you can break it to me nicely in your review ;) Wouldn't you like to know what happened after we. did something with the Elven wine? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!  
  
Notes:  
  
Lily of the Shadow- Am SO happy that you and your friend love my story! *dances around room, shrieking* Tell her as soon as she gets back on the computer to read it and send a review *winks* Oh and try extra strength Herbal Essence hair spray. Really knocks out those Orcses. ;)  
  
Vesta-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm so glad you loved my story! EEEEEEEEEE! Thankies so much for reviewing. I hope this chappie had you laughing too.  
  
Wandering-Ranger-*shifty glance. Grabs Haldir back and stuffs him in her purse* Yep. Granny dearest.  
  
anime princess- Thanks so much for the compliment!!! :) Here's the update!!  
  
Kimi-It's okay. I was waiting sooooooo long for your review because you know you did tell me you would review ;) Thanks for the compliment. I know what you mean about those exams. Yuck. Oh and Missy and I are SO NOT going to kill any Orcses. At least I don't think so. Our hair's gonna get messed up. *Holds up mirror and fixes hair* Oh and P.S: tell Sabrina to REVIEW! Please *bats eyelashes* 


	17. Chapter 16: The Aftermath of Elven Winea...

A\N: Here's another story just for you guys! Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much to my reviewers. It means so much to me!!! And now for the dedication.  
  
CHAPTER 16: THE AFTERMATH OF ELVEN WINE.AND SOMETHING ELSE IS DEDICATED TO.WANDERING-RANGER!!!!! So far you have given four reviews. So I hope you enjoy this chapter. *hug, hug, hug.*  
  
Oh and BTW, I redid over my bio so go check it out!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MYSELF AND THIS STORY. I MAKE NO MONEY OFF THIS.  
  
Chapter 16: The Aftermath of Elven Wine.and Something Else  
  
It was early the next morning and the two trickster cousins snuck back to the field, giggling maniacally to themselves.  
  
They'd waited till the wee hours of the morning to see the effect of the wine and.something else but nothing had happened. They'd finally got bored of waiting and went back to Caras Galadhon to sleep.  
  
When they'd woken up they discovered that not a soul was present in Caras Galadhon or anywhere else.  
  
So, triumphantly clutching their cameras they made their way back to the field.  
  
As soon as they reached the edges of the field, the cousins could no longer hold back their laughter. They burst into raucous giggling at the sight before them.  
  
The entire field was strewn with the bodies of passed out extremely drunken Elves. There were several still stumbling around, bottles of Elven wine mixed with..COKE! in their hands.  
  
The Lady Galadriel and the Lord Celeborn were among the few awake. They were sitting on top a table, hands clasped and in their free hands they had a bottle of Elven wine each.  
  
"Becky! Missy! Come join us girls!" Galadriel called, waving them over with her bottle. She lost her grip on it and it went flying bringing down the total awake from twelve Elves to eleven. "Oops."  
  
She and Celeborn burst into hysterical laughter, so hard that they both fell off the table and onto the ground, face first.  
  
Becky and Missy giggled and immediately snapped several pictures.  
  
Haldir, Legolas and Aragorn stumbled by. Their arms were swung over each other's shoulders and they were all singing extremely off-key.  
  
"The roof! The roof!" Legolas said, wobbling and tripping, dragging Haldir and Aragorn halfway with him.  
  
"No! It's the chicken you!" Haldir said, giggling.  
  
"It's neither!" Aragorn said, swaying. "There's no roof! And there's no chickens in Lothlórien!"  
  
"Of course there are chickens in Lothlórien," Haldir rolled his eyes. "Duh!"  
  
"What did you say?" Legolas asked, giggling. "Duh?"  
  
Aragorn laughed and in doing so, tripped over his own feet and brought both Legolas and Haldir down with him. "Oops."  
  
"Well, well, well. I've never seen the supposed heir to the throne of Gondor this drunk before have I?" Missy said, causing the three figures on the ground to look up at her in surprise.  
  
Aragorn blushed and struggled to get to his feet.  
  
"And giving a bad impression on my young cousin's impressionable mind," Missy shook her head and looked away. "Legolas, Aragorn and Haldir."  
  
Legolas and Haldir both blushed and struggled to get to their feet too.  
  
"And you know how much my cousin loves you. Look at her. She looks so shocked," Missy looked at Becky and winked slyly.  
  
Becky immediately burst into tears. "And I thought my Legolas would have been the perfect Elf. And Haldirykins, I expected ten times more from you. You're much older than Legolas. AND ARAGORN! You're gonna have to rule a blinkin' country!"  
  
"I get to rule?" Aragorn said, his face brightening.  
  
"Lye hiraetha," Legolas said but as soon as he said that he passed out and collapsed onto the floor.  
  
"MY LOVE!" Becky shrieked and dropped to her knees, hugging Legolas. "Ooh! Elven wine and Coke all over a cute Elf smells so nice!"  
  
"YOU PUT COKE IN THE WINE?!" Aragorn howled, causing Becky, Missy and Haldir to jump. "You did that on purpose!"  
  
"Run Missy! Run!" Becky said and the two cousins took off at lightning speed, Haldir and Aragorn at their heels.  
  
The cousins dashed onto the ground behind the still giggling Celeborn and Galadriel.  
  
"Save me Galadriel!" Becky shrieked, burying her head in the Lord and Lady's hair.  
  
The Lord and Lady rose shakily to their feet and held out their hands causing Haldir and Aragorn to freeze in their drunken steps.  
  
"What *giggle* are you *giggle giggle* doing?" Celeborn asked as the cousins peeped out from behind their shoulders.  
  
"They spiked the Elven wine! With Coke of all things!" Aragorn said, pointing at Becky and Missy.  
  
"You mean that *hiccup* black fizzy substance?" Galadriel asked, pointing at an Elf who ran by with several bottles clutched in his arms.  
  
"Yes. That's Coke," Becky said.  
  
"No problem," Celeborn shrugged, calming down. "We mixed all the wine that was in the bottles with miruvor from Imladris beforehand. We thought it would give it a nice flavor. The girls were only doing what they thought come improve the taste more."  
  
"We weren't supposed to tell them that yet!" Becky cheered loudly, causing everyone to duck and cover his or her ears.  
  
"Becky do you mind, er, lowering your voice just a little?" Galadriel asked, removing her hands from her pointed ears. "We're *hiccup* a little sensitive to noise at the moment."  
  
"No problem Galadriel, dear," Becky shrieked, causing everyone to leap. "Oopsies."  
  
At that moment the four hobbits, Gimli and Boromir came trudging.  
  
"That was some party!" Merry said, a bottle of Elven wine in one hand and in the other Lembas.  
  
"Woo-hoo. The roof! The roof!" was all Frodo could say.  
  
"Nuh-uh. It's the chicken!" Sam replied.  
  
"NO WAY! It was neither!" Aragorn cut in. "We don't have a roof!"  
  
"And I don't see any chickens," Gimli interrupted.  
  
"Yeah! Look a chicken!" Becky shrieked and sure enough on other side of the field, a little white hen was clucking about it. "Ooh! It's sho cute! Let's go hug it!"  
  
Becky and Missy dashed from behind Galadriel and Celeborn and towards the chicken.  
  
The chicken squawked in protest and took off, as fast as it's little KFC drumsticks could take it.  
  
"Come back Chicky!" Becky begged, sniffling. "Chicky no come back!"  
  
"It's okay Becky," Missy said. "As soon as we leave Middle-Earth and go back home, I'll get you a pet chicken, okay?"  
  
"But I want THAT chicken," Becky protested, poking out her lower lip. "I WANT THAT CHICKEN!"  
  
"Oh dear," Missy said and began handing out bits of cotton to everyone present. "She's going into a temper tantrum."  
  
Becky glared daggers at her cousin and was about to open her mouth when a still very much drunk Legolas stumbled back towards them.  
  
"Hey why'd you'll just leave me there?" Legolas asked, beginning to giggle maniacally.  
  
"SWEETIE! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Becky said, immediately abandoning her tantrum and running to smother the poor Elf with hugs. "How do you do?"  
  
"She mixed the wine with Coke! And they put miruvor in it!" Aragorn said, first pointing at Becky then at Galadriel and Celeborn.  
  
"Oh lighten up, Estel!" Galadriel said, the wine\ miruvor\Coke effects beginning to wear off slightly. "I don't think I shall let my granddaughter marry a stiff like you!"  
  
Becky and Missy giggled behind their hands as Aragorn blushed and then his eyes widened.  
  
"I get to marry Arwen?" Aragorn asked in drunken amazement.  
  
"You're wearing a girly necklace, aren't you?" Becky said. "Would you be wearing a girly necklace if you were a boy and not about to marry the girl that gave you the girly necklace. DUH!"  
  
"Yeah. It was only a little bit of miruvor anyway," Celeborn shrugged and then looked at Galadriel, "How much was it? Two thousand or three thousand flasks?"  
  
"I believe it was four dear," Galadriel said, stealing Celeborn's bottle and downing half. "Ahh! I really want to taste this Coke on it's own again. Do you have anymore?"  
  
"Of course Galadriel dear!" Becky said. "Let me check our supplies." She dug around in her pack and came out with two bottles. She tossed them to Galadriel and Celeborn who immediately opened them and mixed them with the Elven wine-miruvor mix.  
  
"That's why it was so deadly!" Aragorn said, aloud. "You actually mixed it into the punch bowls instead of letting us drink it separately!"  
  
"There's a difference?" Haldir said, began to giggle. "Isn't it all going to get swirly in your stomach?"  
  
"I think I'm going to bed," Legolas said, pressing one hand to his stomach and the other near his mouth.  
  
"Ooh.Elfie gonna throw up?" Becky asked, hovering by Legolas' shoulder.  
  
"Oh no!" Aragorn murmured, feeling his stomach lurch. "Don't even mention THROW UP."  
  
Suddenly all the awake Elves, Men, Dwarf and Hobbits took off, hands firmly clamped over their mouths.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAAHHAH! There it is my darling readers and reviewers! What did you think? Please read and review for more insaneness. Soon I shall be starting TTT and that's when the madness will really start!!!!!! Thanks so much to all those who have read and reviewed this story! 


	18. Chapter 17: The Mirror of Galadriel

A\N: Here I am again! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing!-Becky Greenleaf  
  
OH and I'm so sorry I didn't leave the translation in Chapter 16. Lye hiraetha-we're sorry.  
  
And now the moment you've all been waiting for. CHAPTER 17: THE MIRROR OF GALADRIEL IS DEDICATED TO LILY OF THE SHADOW. Three reviews from you! Woo- hoo!  
  
WARNING: Contains spoilers from The Return of The King book.  
  
This is part movieverse and part bookverse. I have had to change up the bookverse a bit as I wanted it as much movieverse as possible and Sam isn't viewing the mirror with Frodo.  
  
Oh and I know Lurtz has an accent in there somewhere. Could somebody please be so kind as to tell me where? (I'm always lost when it came to accents.)  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THIS STORY AND MYSELF  
  
Chapter 17: The Mirror of Galadriel  
  
DAYS AFTER THE HUGE 'CELEBRATION' IN LOTHLÓRIEN.  
  
The Fellowship was in their resting place and the air was filled with the song of fair Elven voices.  
  
Legolas stopped for a moment to listen to them, a water jug in one hand and wearing this cute little blue-silver pajama looking garments.  
  
"A lament for Gandalf," he said.  
  
"Oh you look so cute in your little blue silk pajamas!" Becky shrieked and she and Missy giggled hysterically.  
  
"What do they say about him?" Merry asked, ignoring the cousins.  
  
"I have not the heart to tell you," Legolas said. "For me the grief is still too near."  
  
"MY SWEET!" Becky dove at him and hugged him tightly. "I can't bear to see the look of sorrow upon your fair lovely Elven features. Come! Let's walk!"  
  
"I don't want to walk anywhere with you," Legolas said, gearing up to run for his life.  
  
"You don't mean that," Becky said and then beckoned to her cousin. "Come on Missy. Let's go for a walk with Leggy."  
  
"Ooh and Haldir!" Missy said, grabbing Haldir who was innocently just walking by.  
  
Legolas and Haldir got shoved in the middle to be prevented from running away. The cousins grabbed their hands and dragged the two Elves off for a nice long walk.  
  
The 'walk' led them to be dragged behind several statues on the other side of the resting area to spy on Aragorn and Boromir, who were talking.  
  
"Take some rest. These borders are well protected," Aragorn said.  
  
"Why are we here?" Haldir asked but Becky clamped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"SHH!" Becky said rather loudly. "HOT RANGER DUDE IS A HOT RANGER DUDE. HE CAN HEAR US!"  
  
"Yes I can hear you. Rather loudly in fact," Aragorn said impatiently. "Now if you don't mind, I would like to get back to this 'heartfelt' conversation in which I am supposed to look, according to Missy, gorgeous and sympathetic!"  
  
"Go ahead darling," Missy said, making a continue motion with her hands.  
  
"I think he meant for you to leave," Boromir pointed out.  
  
"I'm not GOING ANYWHERE," Becky pouted but slunk further behind the statues till she could no longer be seen. "Better?"  
  
"It shall have to do," Aragorn sighed. "The rest of you move further back please."  
  
Legolas, Haldir and Missy shuffled back further behind the statues.  
  
"I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, 'Even now there is hope left.' But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope," Boromir said as Aragorn sat next to him.  
  
"DENETHOR IS A LOONY OLD MAN!" Becky hollered from the bushes. "HOW IN THE WORLD COULD HE TRY TO KILL FARAMIR?!!!" Missy had clamped a hand over Becky's mouth to keep her quiet, a little too late.  
  
"WHAT?!" Boromir leapt to his feet, a horrified look on his face.  
  
"Good Elbereth," Aragorn buried his face in his hands. "When will she ever learn to SHUT UP?"  
  
"Er, nothing Boromir dear," Becky said, clapping a hand over her mouth.  
  
"My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And then our... our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right, and I, I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The white tower of Ecthelion. Glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?" Boromir asked.  
  
"I have seen the White City. Long ago," Aragorn said.  
  
"You know it's a really funny story. Do you know that another one of Aragorn's names is-" this time Legolas had clamped his hand over her mouth. Becky screamed into his palm and half-fainted.  
  
Aragorn shot her a dangerous look but Becky just giggled into Legolas' hand.  
  
"One day, our paths will lead us there. And the tower guard shall take up the call that the Lords of Gondor have returned," Boromir said and Aragorn just nodded.  
  
"I THINK THAT WAS A PEACE OFFERING RIGHT IN YOUR UNWASHED FACE YOU SILLY RANGER DUDE!" Becky hollered.  
  
"That's it!" Aragorn yelled. "You better run!" Aragorn dove after her.  
  
"AHHHH!" Becky shrieked. "Aragorn is trying to kill me!" She ducked behind Legolas, Haldir and Missy.  
  
"Aragorn!" Missy called and threw a Milky Way bar at him. "FETCH!"  
  
Aragorn grabbed the Milky Way bar and tore into it.  
  
"Hey! Why's he the only one that gets candy?" Boromir asked and with that he grabbed the rest of the Milky Way bar and took off giggling.  
  
"YOU GONDORIAN THEIF!" Aragorn howled and chased after him.  
  
"MWAHHAHAHHA!" Becky giggled maniacally and then jumped. "OMYGOSH! We have to go see Frodo and Galadriel now!"  
  
"Huh?" Legolas and Haldir looked at her oddly.  
  
"Never mind," Missy said and the cousins began tugging them along.  
  
On their way back to the other side of the resting area they suddenly saw the Lady Galadriel beckoning to Frodo from among the trees.  
  
"What the heck is she doing?" Missy asked, looking relatively lost.  
  
Becky knocked her cousin on the back of her head with her hand. "Think back to the movie, sensible!"  
  
Turning aside, she led them toward the southern slopes of the hill of Caras Galadhon, and passing through a high green hedge they came into an enclosed garden. No trees grew there, and it lay open to the sky. The evening star had risen and was shining with white fire above the western woods. Down a long flight of steps the Lady went into the deep green hollow, through which ran murmuring the silver stream that issued from the fountain on the hill. At the bottom, upon a low pedestal carved like a branching tree, stood a basin of silver, wide and shallow, and beside it stood a silver ewer.  
  
Galadriel went to the fountain and began to fill the ewer with water.  
  
Becky, Legolas, Haldir and Missy scattered down the stairs at lightning speed and dashed behind several statues before Galadriel turned around.  
  
"Will you look into the mirror?" Galadriel asked Frodo who had come down the stairs behind her.  
  
"Oh no!" Becky said. "I'm fine. I brushed my hair only an hour ago. I don't think it's messed up. Yet."  
  
"Shh!" Haldir clapped a hand over her mouth.  
  
"That's a mirror?" Missy asked, incredulously. "I thought that was a birdbath!"  
  
The little hen from earlier, appeared and perched itself on the edge of the birdbath, eh mirror and began to drink.  
  
"Hey! Shoo!" Galadriel made shooing motions to the chicken with her hands. "Stop drinking my magic water!"  
  
"Like Blue Magic Kool-Aid?" Becky asked. "The one that's blue but really tastes like cherry?"  
  
"It doesn't taste like cherry!" Missy said. "It tastes like what blue stuff tastes like. And I thought no one was supposed to touch the water!"  
  
"I think that's Galadriel's private supply of bath water," Haldir suggested.  
  
"I wanna taste some blue stuff!" Legolas whined, sounding very much like Becky.  
  
"Here you go. Have blue gum," Becky tossed a pack of blueberry-centered gum at Legolas and Haldir and they began fighting for it.  
  
"What will I see?" Frodo asked, pointedly ignoring the two Elves and two girls.  
  
"Even the wisest cannot tell," Galadriel said. "For the mirror shows many things."  
  
She gave the Evil eye to the hen who hopped off the edge and went to the safety of Becky's ankles, clucking in fear. "That's better."  
  
She began emptying the jug into the bird, em, mirror. "Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass."  
  
She finished pouring the water and stepped back.  
  
Frodo came forward and peered into the mirror. What he saw made him gasp.  
  
"Oh so you now realized there was a little bit of dirt on your face," Becky commented.  
  
"Do I have dirt on my face?" Legolas and Haldir asked simultaneously.  
  
"No, no," Becky said, grinning and hugging them both. "You look absolutely yummiful."  
  
Finally Frodo falls backward on the ground, clutching the Ring at his neck. The water in the mirror is steaming.  
  
"I know what it was is you saw. For it is also in my mind," Galadriel said out loud. And then in Frodo's head she said, "It is what will come to pass if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the Ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all."  
  
"It's gonna destroy someone?" Legolas asked loudly.  
  
"Who's it gonna destroy?" Haldir asked.  
  
"No one told me it was supposed to destroy someone!" that was Missy.  
  
"Ooh! I'm not the only special one! YAY!" Becky cheered. "You all heard her."  
  
"Actually you were saying her lines all by yourself," Missy said.  
  
"Oh," Becky pouted. "But hey I'm the only special one! Woo-hoo!"  
  
"If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring," Frodo said.  
  
"What the fuzzy does she want another ring for?" Becky asked. "She already has Nenya. She has no need for any more."  
  
"Shh, child!" Galadriel said, turning round and motioning for Becky to be quiet. And then she turned back to Frodo; "You offer it to me freely. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this."  
  
She began walking to Frodo with her hand outstretched. "In the place of a Dark Lord, you would have a QUEEN!"  
  
She began to give off an odd blue glow. "NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!"  
  
Suddenly she was normal again and breathing heavily. "I pass the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel."  
  
"Eh what test?" Missy asked. "Was it like a History test? Or a Geography test?"  
  
"You were gonna change your name?" Becky asked at the same time.  
  
"West?" Haldir and Legolas said at the same time.  
  
"I cannot do this alone," Frodo said.  
  
"Oh don't worry sweetie," Becky said. "You don't have to do it alone. S-"  
  
This time the chicken pecked her on her foot for her to be quiet.  
  
"You are a Ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone. This task was appointed to you. And if you do not find a way, no one will," Galadriel said solemnly.  
  
"Then I know what I must do. It's just, I'm afraid to do it," Frodo replied, pointedly ignoring Becky.  
  
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future," Galadriel said.  
  
"And you sure are small," Becky commented helpfully.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ORTHANC  
  
"Do you know how the Orcs first came into being?" Saruman asked.  
  
"Em, well first the Daddy Orc asks the Mummy Orc out on a date," Lurtz said. "And then they went on many other dates. And then Daddy Orc asked Mummy Orc to marry him and Mummy Orc did and I can't say the rest because this is PG. Let's just say she had many Baby Orcs and those Baby Orcs in turn had more Baby Orcs and then-"  
  
"SILENCE!" Saruman said. "I'll just tell you then. They were Elves once. Taken by the Dark Powers, tortured, and mutilated. A ruined, and terrible form of life. And now, perfected. My fighting Uruk-hai. Whom do you serve?  
  
"Becky and Missy!" Lurtz replied.  
  
"No, no, no! You're supposed to say Saruman," the wizard said. "Now repeat after me: Saruman."  
  
"Now repeat after me: Saruman," Lurtz said obediently.  
  
"No you idiot!" Saruman said, exasperated. "SARUMAN."  
  
"SARUMAN," Lurtz repeated.  
  
"Good," Saruman said and stalked off, mumbling something about defective Uruk-hai.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Orcs and the Uruk-hai are preparing for battle, putting on armor and gathering weapons.  
  
"Hunt them down! Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste man flesh!" Saruman said.  
  
"And some dirty man flesh at that," Random Uruk-hai Forty-Eight said to his friend, Random Uruk-hai Two Hundred. "I hear there's one particularly greasy one among them."  
  
"I heard he hasn't bathed since 2980 of the Third Age," Random Uruk-hai Two Hundred replied. "That's just disgusting!"  
  
"One of the Halflings carries something of great value. Bring them to me alive and unspoilt. Kill the others," Saruman said to Lurtz.  
  
"You have got to be joking," Becky said, suddenly appearing with Missy close behind.  
  
"Yeah. You can't kill my Aragorn!" Missy said.  
  
"And if you touch that gorgeous Elf. Grrr," Becky said.  
  
"Oops!" Missy said. "I think we gotta go now! Bye!" She disappeared.  
  
"STAY AWAY FROM MY ELF!" was the last thing they heard before Becky disappeared too.  
  
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FWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! There it is people. Chapter 17: The Mirror of Galadriel is OVER. The Two Towers is drawing near! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review for more insaneness. Hopefully Chapter 18 will be up in the near future but school is starting soon. Blecch!  
  
anime princess-If you're wondering where we got all that Coke go and reread the first chapter. Or maybe I'll just tell you: we were going on vacation and we got stuck carrying the food suitcases (long story!). A drunk Galadriel is even scarier than the real version *shivers*. Oh I know where we're going to go when the Fellowship separates. No I'm not gonna tell you ;) thanx for your review!  
  
Micholle- Thanks sooo much for reviewing! It's one of your faves??!!! *takes out hankie and wipes eyes* That's soooo sweet!!! Now don't be a stranger now that you've reviewed once. Be sure to visit every few chappies.  
  
rogue solus-Hehehehheeh.madness it is! The Two Towers is going to be even worse. Now don't be afraid, dear, make sure you visit when The Two Towers is up! And even now coming near to the end of FOTR! Thankies for the review!!!  
  
Wandering-Ranger-How about a grand Haldir tug-of-war event? And of course the last chapter was dedicated to you! FIVE REVIEWS??!!! *hug hug hug hug* Thankies!!! Well the wine sure wasn't spiked with sugar! 


	19. Chapter 18: Farewell to Lórien

A\N: I am so completely and totally sorry that I have not updated in forever. I have been awfully busy since school's started back with tests, projects and end-of-terms coming so please bear with me. I have hardly had anytime to write at all these days but I'm trying my best to fit my writing in between all my other stuff. My humble apologies, darlings. Your notes are at the bottom of the page!  
  
MONDAY JUNE 2ND WAS MY BIRTHDAY! YAY! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!  
  
Now for the dedication. CHAPTER 18: FAREWELL TO LÓRIEN IS DEDICATED TO.ANIME PRINCESS AND WANDERING-RANGER. I'm SO SO SO SO SORRY that two people had to get dedicated to this one chapter but anime princess gave me three reviews and then Wandering-Ranger (you, darling, you!!!!) gave me six reviews altogether and she keeps reviewing (hug, hug, hug, hug) and reviewing and reviewing till pretty soon she might be the only one getting dedications. So why don't you'll give her a little competition? ;) ;) Try to see if you can get dedicated before her. (Yeah, yeah cheap review bribe tactic!)  
  
Oh and this is ALMOST COMPLETELY bookverse. It has a teensy little bit of movieverse. Have had to remove some of the book parts to accommodate the story :) But there is a lot of stuff directly from the book LOTR: FOTR. They are very easy to recognize: anything that makes sense :) Also I DO NOT MAKE ANY MONEY OFF THIS. The book inserts in this story is property of J.R.R. Tolkien NOT ME. Also the parts taken from the book are labeled with this *.  
  
Disclaimer: I ONLY OWN THIS STORY AND MYSELF. I MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY OFF THIS. Lestat and Louis do not belong to me. They belong to the wonderful author Anne Rice. Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Stuart Townsend all belong to themselves. Or their parents. Whichever one works.  
  
Chapter 18: Farewell to Lórien  
  
"LEAVING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN LEAVING?!" Becky shouted at Aragorn and Legolas the next morning.  
  
"We are leaving Lothlórien," Aragorn repeated patiently. "We decided last night that we would be leaving today."  
  
"NO ONE TOLD ME WE WERE LEAVING!" Becky howled at them. "I CAN'T LEAVE MY HALDIRYKINS JUST WHEN WE WERE BEGINNING TO KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL!"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW YOU!" Haldir yelled from the bushes, where he'd been posted to keep an eye on the girls. from sources that were not from Lothlórien.  
  
"Of course you know who I am, sweet," Becky replied, running and hugging him. "I'm Becky! And that's Missy dear over there!"  
  
"Okay, okay," Haldir said, struggling to detach her. "I give up. Just go bother Legolas."  
  
And with that Haldir disappeared back into the bushes.  
  
"Okay!" Becky dove at Legolas and hugged him tightly. "MY LOVELY LEGOLAS."  
  
"Good Elbereth," Aragorn grabbed Becky's arms and pulled her away from Legolas. "We do not have time for this!"  
  
"Ooh!" Becky in turn wrapped her arms around Aragorn in a hug. "I WUV YOU HOT RANGER DUDE!" Then she pulled away wrinkling her nose.  
  
"You're surrounded by water. I think you should take a bath," Becky said, digging through her bag for her bottle of perfume. "Where did that bottle of Victoria's Secret body spray go to?"  
  
"Erm, never mind," Aragorn backed far away from Becky, remembering that incident in Rivendell.  
  
*Elves that could speak their tongue came to them and brought them many gifts of food and clothing for the journey. *  
  
"LEMBAS!" Becky shrieked and swooped down on the Lembas. Gimli quickly followed her lead, as he'd secretly loved them since Rivendell.  
  
"Stop! That's enough!" the Elves cried. "Gimli you've eaten enough for a day's march. Becky you've eaten enough for four!"  
  
"I'm hungry," Becky pouted and folded her arms.  
  
"Just let her eat," Legolas replied tiredly. "You've heard her temper tantrums."  
  
"That's why I love you Leggy! You're so sweet to me!" Becky said, grinning widely at Legolas.  
  
Legolas sighed and stalked off in another direction.  
  
"Leggy loves me!" Becky repeated, with the same stupid smile plastered on her face. "Doesn't he?"  
  
"I'm sure that somewhere deep down in Legolas' heart it's true," Boromir reassured, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Oh Boromir. You say the sweetest things!" Becky said and then she burst into near hysterical tears. "OH NO BOROMIR!"  
  
She and Missy hugged each other and the latter began to sob with her cousin. "Tragic.so tragic!"  
  
Poor Boromir and the rest of the present Fellowship just blinked. The Elves stared but quickly shook their heads in sympathy to the rest of the Fellowship.  
  
*"All the same, we bid you spare the food," they said. "Eat little at a time, and only at need. For these things are given to serve you when all else fails. The cakes will keep sweet for many many days, if they are unbroken and left in their leaf-wrappings, as we have brought them. One will keep a traveler on his feet for a day of long labour, even if he be one of the tall Men of Minas Tirith."  
  
The Elves next unwrapped and gave to each of the Company the clothes they had brought. For each they had provided a hood and cloak, made according to his size, of the light but warm silken stuff that the Galadhrim wove. It was hard to say of what colour they were: grey with the hue of twilight under the trees they seemed to be; and yet if they were moved, or set in another light, they were green as shadowed leaves, or brown as fallow fields by night, dusk-silver as water under the stars. Each cloak was fastened about the neck with a brooch like a green leaf veined with silver.  
  
"Are these magic cloaks?" asked Pippin, looking at them with wonder. *  
  
"Ooh! Magic cloaks!" Becky giggled maniacally. She immediately put on the cloak and began dancing around.  
  
"A cute little leaf pin!" Missy shrieked, touching the delicate pin. "It's sho cute!"  
  
*"I do not know what you mean by that," answered the leader of the Elves. "They are fair garments, and the web is good, for it was made in this land. They are elvish robes certainly, if that is what you mean. Leaf and branch, water and stone: they have the hue and beauty of all these things under the twilight of Lórien that we love; for we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make. Yet they are garments, not armour, and they will not turn shaft or blade. But they should serve you well: they are light to wear, and warm enough or cool enough at need. And you will find them a great aid in keeping out of the sight of unfriendly eyes, whether you walk among the stones or the trees. You are indeed high in the favour of the Lady! For she herself and her maidens wove this stuff; and never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people."*  
  
"I always knew we were Galadriel's favorite!" Becky shrieked, jumping up and down. "I'm gonna go thank her right now! Come on cousin!"  
  
"Oh no you're not!" Aragorn caught hold of each cousin's wrist before they could take off anywhere. "You are not going anywhere right now. You have your entire luggage to pack and we have to pack up what we have. And the two of you shall have double duty as your darling Legolas has run off to find the nearest cliff to jump off of. Valar knows he won't find one around here."  
  
"But I wanna go see Galadriel!" Becky said. "I don't wanna pack!"  
  
"You better begin packing now!" Aragorn said, almost as if he hadn't heard Becky. "You have so many of those.suitcases, is it?"  
  
"Yes it's suitcases," Missy said, sighing resignedly. "Come on Becky. Let's listen to Hot Ranger Dude."  
  
"But I don't wanna leave Lothlórien! I wanna stay here. It's so beautiful!" Becky whined. "I haven't even gotten a chance to braid Galadriel's hair!"  
  
"Maybe later," was Aragorn's terse reply.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*After their morning meal (and after Legolas had returned from his unsuccessful mission to find a cliff) the Company said farewell to the lawn by the fountain. Their hearts were heavy; for it was a fair place, and it had become like home to them, though they could not count the days and nights that they had passed there. As they stood for a moment looking at the white water in the sunlight, Haldir came walking towards them over the green grass of the glade, wearing a sulky expression. Frodo, Becky and Missy greeted him with delight. *  
  
*"I have been forced to come back by the Lady Galadriel and the Lord Celeborn," Haldir said, through gritted teeth, "and I am sent to be your guide again. The Dimrill Dale is full of vapour and clouds of smoke, and the mountains are troubled. There are noises in the deeps of the earth. If any of you had thought of returning northwards to your homes, you would not have been able to pass that way. But come! Your path now goes south."  
  
As they walked through Caras Galadhon the green ways were empty; but in the trees above them many voices were murmuring and singing. They themselves went silently. At last Haldir led them down the southward slopes of the hill, and they came again to the great gate hung with lamps, and to the white bridge; and so they passed out and left the city of the Elves, Becky and Missy both crying hysterically. Then they turned away from the paved road and took a path that went off into a deep thicket of mallorn-trees, and passed on, winding through rolling woodlands of silver shadow, leading them ever down, southwards and eastwards, towards the shores of the River.  
  
They had gone some ten miles and noon was at hand when they came on a high green wall. Passing through an opening they came suddenly out of the trees. Before them lay a long lawn of shining grass, studded with golden elanor that glinted in the sun. The lawn ran out into a narrow tongue between bright margins: on the right and west the Silverlode flowed glittering; on the left and east the Great River rolled its broad waters, deep and dark. On the further shores the woodlands still marched on southwards as far as the eye could see, but all the banks were bleak and bare. No mallorn lifted its gold-hung boughs beyond the Land of Lórien.  
  
On the bank of the Silverlode, at some distance up from the meeting of the streams, there was a hythe of white stones and white wood. By it were moored many boats and barges. Some were brightly painted, and shone with silver and gold and green, but most were either white or grey. Three small grey boats had been made ready for the travellers, and in these the Elves stowed their goods. And they added also coils of rope, three to each boat. Slender they looked, but strong, silken to the touch, grey of hue like the elven-cloaks.  
  
"What are these?" asked Sam, handling one that lay upon the greensward.  
  
"Ropes indeed!" answered an Elf from the boats. "Never travel far without a rope! And one that is long and strong and light. Such are these. They may be a help in many needs."*  
  
"Skipping ropes!" Becky giggled, now over her sadness. She ran over to a boat, picked up a coil and began jumping rope. "I haven't skipped in ages!"  
  
Aragorn sighed tiredly and gestured at the Elves. One of them came up to Becky and took away the rope. Becky burst into tears.  
  
"I was skipping!" Becky protested through her tears. "You're a party pooper Aragorn II, son of Arathorn II! Yes you are!"  
  
"Dina!" Aragorn commanded, knowing that one of the only ways to shut her up was in Elvish. Becky ceased her tears but still she pouted.  
  
The Elves blinked but the one who'd spoken to Sam gestured for him to continue as it was obvious he'd been about to say something when Becky had taken the rope.  
  
*"You don't need to tell me that!" said Sam. "I came without any, and I've been worried ever since. But I was wondering what these were made of, knowing a bit about rope-making: it's in the family as you might say."  
  
"They are made of hithlain," said the Elf, "but there is no time now to instruct you in the art of their making. Had we known that this craft delighted you, we could have taught you much. But now alas! unless you should at some time return hither, you must be content with our gift. May it serve you well!"  
  
"Come!" said Haldir. "All is now ready for you. Enter the boats! But take care at first!"  
  
"Heed the words!" said the other Elves. "These boats are light-built, and they are crafty and unlike the boats of other folk. They will not sink, lade them as you will; but they are wayward if mishandled. It would be wise if you accustomed yourselves to stepping in and out, here where there is a landing-place, before you set off downstream."  
  
The Company was supposed to be arranged in this way: Aragorn, Frodo, and Sam were in one boat; Boromir, Merry, and Pippin in another; and in the third were Legolas and Gimli, who had now become fast friends. In this last boat most of the goods and packs were supposed to be stowed. *  
  
Unfortunately (for most) things were NOT arranged that way. In this version this was the arrangement: Becky, Missy, Aragorn and Legolas were in one boat; Boromir, Merry, Pippin and Gimli in the other and all the goods were in the last boat.  
  
"But this is overloading!" Aragorn protested, trying everything to get away from Becky and Missy. "Can we please get another boat if that's possible?"  
  
"But the Elves said we could overload and we wouldn't sink!" Missy piped up.  
  
"Someone needs to steer the boats with the goods," Legolas interjected, praying to the Valar that that might work.  
  
"No they don't. We could use one of these pretty skipping ropes and tie the goods boat to our boat!" Becky said, grinning at her own intelligence.  
  
"Just figures she'd have to go and get smart now," Legolas muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that, Legolas my love?" Becky asked, gazing up at him with a big, stupid grin.  
  
"Nothing. Never mind," Legolas rolled his eyes and moved to the furthest end of the boat.  
  
Becky plopped down right next to Legolas and Missy hooked herself onto Aragorn's arm.  
  
"Ooh! Look! The thingies that you put in the water to make the boat move look like leaves!" Becky giggled, now discovering the fact.  
  
The Fellowship sighed and shook their heads sadly.  
  
*When all was ready Aragorn led them on a trial up the Silverlode. The current was swift and they went forward slowly. Sam sat in the bows, clutching the sides, and looking back wistfully to the shore. The sunlight glistening on the water dazzled his eyes. As they passed beyond the green field of the Tongue, the trees drew down to the river's brink. Here and there golden leaves tossed and floated on the rippling stream. The air was very bright and still, and there was silence, except for the high distant sound of larks. *  
  
"Are those gulls?" Becky shrieked, a murderous glint in her eyes. "Gulls are evil! They stole you away from me!" This she directed at Legolas who moved further away from her.  
  
"Gulls are not evil, cousin," Missy said. "Did they physically pick up Legolas and move him? That's very likely: the Elf's skinnier than spaghetti!"  
  
"I take offense!" Legolas and Becky yelled simultaneously.  
  
"What's spaghetti?" Legolas asked at the same time Becky said, "He's not that skinny! He's got muscle somewhere!" And with that she poked Legolas on his forearm with her finger. "Yep. That's muscle."  
  
"It's called a forearm!" Legolas protested and plucked his arm away.  
  
"It's a cute forearm!" Becky giggled and hugged his arm.  
  
*They turned a sharp bend in the river, and there, sailing proudly down the stream toward them, they saw a swan of great size. The water rippled on either side of the white breast beneath its curving neck. Its beak shone like burnished gold, and its eyes glinted like jet set in yellow stones; its huge white wings were half lifted. A music came down the river as it drew nearer; and suddenly they perceived that it was a ship, wrought and carved with elven-skill in the likeness of a bird. Two Elves clad in white steered it with black paddles. In the midst of the vessel sat Celeborn, and behind him stood Galadriel, tall and white; a circlet of golden flowers was in her hair, and in her hand she held a harp, and she sang. Sad and sweet was the sound of her voice in the cool clear air. * She was singing about Lórien.  
  
*Aragorn stayed his boat as the Swan-ship drew alongside. The Lady ended her song and greeted them. "We have come to bid you our last farewell," she said, "and to speed you with blessings from our land."*  
  
"Yay!" Becky cheered. "I get to braid Galadriel's hair now!"  
  
*"Though you have been our guests," said Celeborn, "you have not yet eaten with us, and we bid you, therefore, to a parting feast, here between the flowing waters that will bear you far from Lórien."*  
  
"What are you talking about Celeborn dear?" Becky asked, eyebrows lifted. "We feasted a lot at our party here!"  
  
Celeborn coughed, turning red with embarrassment. Becky was about to say something when she caught sight of a boat coming upstream towards them.  
  
"OMYFUZZY! It's Haldirykins!" Becky shrieked and began paddling the water with her hands, trying to pull the boat closer to Haldir's boat. "Eee! It's Rúmil and Orophin too! Hi guys!"  
  
"Stop that!" Aragorn shouted, but it was too late. Missy had joined in on the paddling and their boat was drifting closer and closer to Haldir's.  
  
Aragorn was about to say something but Legolas elbowed him and nodded slightly. Fortunately Becky and Missy didn't catch the movement.  
  
Finally, their boat drifted close enough to Haldir's and the cousins made a leap for it. At that moment, Aragorn and Legolas began paddling as hard as they could in the next direction. The cousins missed Haldir's boat (and their own) and fell face first into the water.  
  
Moments later they both resurfaced, screaming at the top of their lungs.  
  
"I'm drowning! Save me! Save me!" Missy yelled. "Aragorn! Aragorn!"  
  
"Save me! I'm drowning too!" Becky spluttered, taking in a mouthful of water. "LEGGY, MY LOVE! HEEEEEEEELP!"  
  
"How many times must I tell you?" Legolas shouted back. "My name is LEGOLAS. And I'm not your love. I barely know you!"  
  
By this time on their swan boat, Celeborn and Galadriel were both struggling to suppress their laughter.  
  
"How could you not know me?" Becky replied. "I know EVERYTHING about you that there ever is to know! Are you sure you don't know me?!"  
  
"I sadly DO know you," Aragorn cut in. "How could we not know about you? You talk so much! You also talk too much about this Orlando Bloom person.and this Viggo Mortensen. I do not know of them."  
  
"Well duh, you wouldn't know of them," Missy rolled her eyes and giggled. "They're you! Well not exactly. I think Viggo bathes at least once a day."  
  
"Of course Viggo bathes!" Becky shouted at her cousin, incredulously. "What do you think, silly?!" She splashed water at her cousin, who sputtered and splashed back.  
  
"And vampires!" Legolas interrupted the water fight. "She is obsessed with vampires!" He turned to Celeborn and Galadriel who both immediately pasted innocent looks on their faces.  
  
"Yes she is," the rest of the Fellowship chimed in. "We're fed up of hearing about this Lestat person.and this Louis person. And this Tom Cruise person and this Brad Pitt person and this Stuart Townsend person!"  
  
"Lestat IS NOT A PERSON," Becky cried indignantly. "HE IS A VAMPIRE! A VAMPIRE! Louis IS NOT A PERSON EITHER! HE IS A VAMPIRE! HE IS A VAMPIRE!"  
  
"That's extremely unhealthy," Haldir put in. "Vampires!"  
  
"Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt make the dreamiest vampires," Becky giggled, forgetting to kick her feet underneath the water. She sunk slightly but came back up, screaming. "And I didn't really like Stuart Townsend Lestat at first but then I realized that he was a dreamy vampire too!"  
  
"Is it me or every vampire you see is 'dreamy' all of a sudden?" Missy asked.  
  
Becky pouted. "Not every vampire I see is dreamy. There was.there was.this vampire movie from like 1902 or something like that. The lead vampire wasn't dreamy. Or was he? I can't remember."  
  
Celeborn and Galadriel both finally burst into hysterical laughter and fell off the boat, face first into the water, soaking everyone else with water. Moments later, they resurfaced still giggling insanely.  
  
"Vampires," Galadriel choked.  
  
"Dreamy," Celeborn said, causing the two of them to break out hysterically again.  
  
Becky looked at them strangely but just smiled. "Ooh.and there was this other vampire movie I saw the other day."  
  
"STOP TALKING ABOUT VAMPIRES!" Aragorn commanded. "It is a very bad time to be talking about evil demonic creatures who do not roam under the sun."  
  
"LESTAT'S NOT EVIL NOR IS HE DEMONIC!" Becky defended with a pout. "Lestat is tall, blond and he was born on-"  
  
"Shh!" Legolas said and with that he grabbed her hands and pulled her back onto the boat. "Come on Missy." He grabbed Missy and put her on the boat, next to her cousin.  
  
"You no like Lestat?" Becky asked, giving Legolas an innocent wide-eyed look.  
  
"I don't even know who Lestat is!" Legolas said, through clenched teeth. "I have never seen nor heard of him."  
  
"How could you not hear of him?" The Fellowship asked simultaneously. "We hear about him and YOU every minute of the day!"  
  
Legolas gave them the Evil Elf Eye and they got wide innocent smiles on their faces.  
  
"Ooh!" Becky began digging through her bag that she carried everywhere with her. "I might have the books in here somewhere. I may have some pictures too."  
  
"Never mind," Missy pulled Becky's hands away from her bag. "We don't want to see pictures. We don't want TO KNOW."  
  
"But..but.don't you wanna hear about Orlando and Viggo too? And Elijah?" Becky pouted, eyes watering. "What about them?"  
  
"We'd love to hear about them!" Celeborn called from the water where he and Galadriel still were. "We'd love to know about.Orlando? Viggo? Elijah?"  
  
"It's Vee-go, not Vig-go," Becky corrected. "Always remember to get the name right. Okay?"  
  
"Alright. Shall we feast?" Galadriel said, as she and Celeborn began making their way back to their boat.  
  
*The Swan passed on slowly to the hythe, and they turned their boats and followed it. There in the last end of Egladil upon the green grass the parting feast was held.*  
  
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After they had eaten; and Celeborn had spoken to them of their journey; and after everyone had dried off; Galadriel presented them with gifts. Aragorn received a sheath for his sword and a great stone of clear green which was set in a silver brooch that was in the likeness of an eagle (the latter was left in Galadriel's care to give to Aragorn, should he ever pass through Lórien); Legolas was given a bow strung with a string of elf-hair and a quiver of arrows; Boromir received a belt of gold; Merry and Pippin received silver belts; Sam was given a little box with earth from Galadriel's orchard; and Gimli received three golden hairs from Galadriel's head.  
  
"What do you wish from us?" The Lady Galadriel turned to Becky and Missy eagerly. She truly wanted to hear their response. "Ask anything of us."  
  
"Well, can we have Haldir?" Becky and Missy asked, wide grins on their faces.  
  
"Well-" Galadriel began but she caught the look of horror on Haldir's face. "I'm sorry, girls. That is one thing I cannot grant."  
  
"Can we have Rúmil and Orophin then?"  
  
"No, I'm afraid. Those two are impossible to grant," Galadriel said.  
  
"Well, I guess I want three strands of your hair too," Becky said. "I could tie them in with my own hair and tell people I have three strands of Cate Blanchett's wig!"  
  
"I do not know of a Cate Blanchett," Galadriel replied. "But I shall give you the strands." She gave Becky and Missy three strands of hair each.  
  
"Oh and Celeborn I want some hair too!" Becky bounded up to him and held out her hands. "I'm NOT taking no for an answer, mister."  
  
Celeborn sighed reluctantly but plucked out six strands of his silver hair and gave them to Becky and Missy.  
  
"And we want hair from Haldir too," Becky demanded.  
  
"Of course you may!" Galadriel said. "Since it is so small a thing you require of us."  
  
Becky giggled maniacally and tackled Haldir's hair. She came back with a handful of silver hair.  
  
"Ouch!" Haldir howled. "I have a bald spot!"  
  
"Oops," Becky smiled from ear-to-ear and handed over several strands to Missy. "Now Galadriel, I would like six strands of hair from Legolas."  
  
"Of course," Galadriel gestured for a horrified Legolas to come closer.  
  
"But my Lady!" Legolas protested. "Please.no." He tried to escape but Becky and Missy swooped down and plucked out their six strands, none too gently.  
  
"Ouch!" Legolas began mumbling several angry words in Elvish under his breath. "That hurt!"  
  
"Well there's something I really want," Becky said. "Several things actually but I'm a little embarrassed." She beckoned for Galadriel to come closer.  
  
Galadriel came closer and bent to hear Becky's requests. At the first one she smiled sadly and slowly. She shook her head gently but firmly.  
  
"I can never grant that wish," Galadriel replied sadly. "No matter how many of us would like that, no matter."  
  
"Well then how about." Becky continued whispering into Galadriel's ear.  
  
Everyone subconsciously leaned forward to listen but they couldn't hear anything.  
  
The sad look immediately disappeared from Galadriel's face and a huge smile appeared in its place. The Lady looked ready to break down into hysterical bouts of laughter.  
  
"I'll try," Galadriel said, allowing herself a giggle. "I'll try my best but if nothing happens well.I'm very sorry."  
  
"What did you ask for? What did you ask for?" Missy demanded as soon as Becky was back hovering over her shoulder. "Tell me!"  
  
"No.I can't tell you that!" Becky said with an evil smile. "You'll find out later."  
  
The rest of the Fellowship gazed at them curiously but they didn't say anything.  
  
The Lady smiled at the cousins and went to Frodo to present him with his gift.  
  
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(MOVIEVERSE)  
  
"Buh-bye, Frodo Baggins, you, cute little hobbit, you. I give you the light of Eärendil, our prettiest star. Lataz," Galadriel said.  
  
Frodo stared at her, big blue eyes as wide as could be and mouth agape. "WHAT?"  
  
"Um, I meant this," Galadriel said with a sheepish smile. "Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. Namárië."  
  
She put into his hand a small crystal phial. She bent and kissed the top of Frodo's head.  
  
"Gracias, merci, and all that stuff," Frodo replied. He caught Galadriel's confused look and shook his head. "I've been spending too much time near Becky and Missy. What I meant to say was thank you!"  
  
The Fellowship got into their boats and made ready to set off, Becky and Missy weeping hysterically.  
  
"WAIT! WAIT!" Becky yelled, grabbing several packages from her backpack and scattering back onto shore. "Your gifts! I almost forgot the gifts!"  
  
She gave Celeborn and Galadriel two packages wrapped in bright pink gift paper. The Lord and Lady immediately ripped into them.  
  
"Ooooh!" Galadriel said, eyes wide in amazement as she gazed in admiration at her gifts. "These are so pretty!" She held up a large packet of multi- colored rhinestone-looking clips and a packet of blue flower-shaped and white flower-shaped rhinestone-looking hair decals.  
  
"But what are these?" Celeborn asked, lifting one of his gifts. He'd gotten a new brush, strawberry scented hair gel and hair spray plus a set of fake blue braided hair. Galadriel had gotten the pink braided hair set. "Is it REAL hair?"  
  
"No, it's not real hair," Becky said, wiping away her tears. "But it will look totally good in your hair!" She and Missy pounced on the Lord and Lady and began braiding the fake hair into their real hair.  
  
"You look so beautiful!" Missy said and broke into another round of tears. "WAHHH!"  
  
"And these are for you," Becky said, flinging random gifts at Rúmil, Orophin and Haldir. "Oh these are for you too, Random Elves!"  
  
Rúmil, Orophin and Haldir got new brushes and a whole line of hair-care products and The Random Elves received brushes and bags of chocolates.  
  
"We must be off now," Aragorn said, from the boat. "NOW."  
  
"Oh sorry, Hot Ranger Dude," Becky said, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "Bye Galadriel, bye Celeborn. Bye Haldir, bye Rúmil, bye Orophin, bye bye Random Elves."  
  
"Bye bye," Galadriel, Celeborn, Haldir, Orophin, Rúmil and the Random Elves replied.  
  
Becky and Missy got back into the boat, still scrubbing furiously at their tear-filled eyes.  
  
"WAIT! WAIT!" it was Celeborn's turn to yell.  
  
Aragorn groaned in frustration and buried his head in his hands.  
  
"Yes?!" Becky and Missy immediately leapt back out of the boat, causing the boat to rock violently and for Legolas and Aragorn to hold onto the sides for dear life.  
  
"We had these made for you," Galadriel handed the cousins a large white box wrapped up in purple velvet. "The blue one is for Missy and the purple is for Becky."  
  
"Ooh!" Becky began pulling off the purple velvet but Galadriel stopped her.  
  
"Wait," was all she said.  
  
"But for how long?" Missy whined, pouting. "I wanna see! I wanna see!"  
  
"Wait until we are out of sight," Galadriel said, with a secret smile. "You will like the gifts, no doubt."  
  
"Is it?" Becky asked, realization dawning in her eyes. "Could it? Could it?"  
  
"No. I doubt what you want would be able to fit into a large white box," Galadriel chuckled.  
  
Becky and Missy gave one last round of hugs, giving Haldir an extra-tight one and nearly strangling the poor Elf. They hurried back to the boat, now in another fresh round of tears.  
  
Galadriel watched them row off and she lifted her hand to them in a silent farewell.  
  
"May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out," Galadriel said, inside Frodo's head.  
  
"Ooh! I know when you'll use the lighty thingie!" Becky cried triumphantly. "You'll use it-" Missy clamped a hand over her cousin's mouth.  
  
"Hannon le, Missy," Becky said, giggling sheepishly. "I was almost gonna give away another part of the story, huh?"  
  
"Yes you were cousin dearest," Missy replied. "But now let's say our last goodbyes to beautiful Lórien!"  
  
So cameras flashing, hands waving, Aragorn and Legolas groaning in annoyance and tears in everyone's eyes, the Fellowship passed out of Lothlórien, which they would never see again. Well not in this story anyway.  
  
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Well there it is, folks. Chapter 18: Farewell to Lórien. Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all so much for bearing with me and waiting so long for this chapter. I'm really sorry about it but I've been really busy and I tried to get this chapter to be as long as possible for you guys. I'm working on Chapter 2 for The Prisoners of the House of Elrond. Here's the link:  
  
Check it out and please review! Ooh and thank you all for reviewing! Your notes are not far below :) Oh and BTW, I have a Yahoo! Club now. It's called The Borders of Middle-Earth. Come join sometime. You're more than welcome =) Here's the linky link:  
  
Translations:  
  
Dina-Be silent.  
  
Review Replies:  
  
aimie hopeful writer-Thanks for the comment :D Of course I'll review the next chapter of your story and don't forget to keep coming back for more madness ;)  
  
Guess-Eh, thanks for the compliment? Greenleaf doesn't belong to any of us dear. Sorry to burst your bubble. Legolas Greenleaf is the property of J.R.R. Tolkien. =) You're not him by the way are you? Can I have Legolas? ;)  
  
anime princess-yeah I know it's a little on the short side. Hope this makes up for it!  
  
Wandering-Ranger-A CUTE BALROG!!! Ahem....did you get your review yet dear?  
  
Celtic Dawn Star-Thankies for the compliment. (Again!!) Oh well, just more reviews for me! Woo-hoo! Here's the update! 


	20. Chapter 19: The Journey Down The River

A\N: Hey everyone! Glad to see you'll enjoyed the previous chapter! I adored writing it ;) A big thankies to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it :) I'd love to hear more from you guys so don't hesitate to send me a review. I WUV REVIEWS! So, once again your notes are at the end of the chappy.  
  
And now the moment you've all been waiting for. *Takes envelope from her assistant Legolas who is looking horrified when she plants a kiss on his cheek.* Chapter 19: The Journey Down the River is dedicated to Cotume, Cotume, Cotume AND COTUME! You most definitely HAD HAD HAD to get that because come on, who in the world would give me soooooo much reviews!!!! *hug*  
  
The lyrics to "Ninety-Nine bottles of Miruvor" and "Yo-ho ho and a bottle of Elf wine" belong to me. They are based on the original songs "Ninety- Nine bottles of beer" and "Yo-ho ho and a bottle of Rum." I don't properly know the lyrics to those songs so do forgive me if they're a little off. Also "May it be" does not belong to me. It belongs to Enya or whoever wrote it. Also.terribly sorry for the Aragorn abuse.  
  
Chapter 19: The Journey Down the River  
  
"Ooh! I'm an Elf Queen-Witch!" Becky announced to the world, er Middle- Earth at large. She was standing in the middle of the boat, dressed in a floor-length white gown with long dripping sleeves. In her left hand, she held a purple sash that was to be tied around her waist but for the moment she was content waving the sash around in the air. Her hair was open and flowing and on her head was a slim gold Elven crown and it was wreathed with silver. She had entwined the strands of hair from all the Elves into her own brown hair and now she looked quite demented. On her right hand she wore a gold replica of Nenya. "I'm so pretty!"  
  
"I'm an Elf Queen-Witch too!" Missy declared, standing next to her cousin. She was dressed in a white floor-length gown with long dripping sleeves. Her blue sash was tied around her waist. She also had a crown on her head but it was silver and wreathed with gold and she had entwined the strands of Elf hair into her hair too. Adorning her right hand was a silver replica of Nenya. "I totally love Galadriel and Celeborn for giving us these awesome gifts!"  
  
"Me too!" Becky giggled and hugged her cousin.  
  
Aragorn and Legolas looked at each other and rolled their eyes in annoyance.  
  
"Sit down!" Aragorn commanded, tugging at the skirts of the cousins' gowns. "You're going to tip us over!"  
  
"But the Elves said that it couldn't sink!" Becky protested, hugging Aragorn's hand.  
  
"Well then someone will spot us," Legolas put in. The cousins ignored Legolas and began waving to the surrounding trees that hung low over the water.  
  
"Hi trees!" the cousins yelled. "Hi birdies, hi fishies, hi water! Hi Boromir, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo!"  
  
"Hi girls!" Boromir, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo waved back. The trees, birdies, fishies and water obviously did not wave back.  
  
"I'm Miss Universe!" Becky shrieked loudly, strutting up and down the boat, putting on a smile from ear-to-ear and waving regally with her right hand.  
  
"And I'm Miss World!" Missy said, following quickly in Becky's footsteps. The cousins grabbed each other's hands and bowed. The boat rocked dangerously underneath them.  
  
"And you're both sitting down right now!" Aragorn grabbed the cousins' free hands and pulled them back down into a sitting position.  
  
Becky immediately pouted, "You're a party pooper, Aragorn!"  
  
"So I've heard," was the terse reply.  
  
"I think the two of you look very nice," Frodo called from a few feet away, across the water.  
  
"Wasn't Frodo supposed to be in your care?" Missy asked Aragorn, suddenly realizing exactly where the Ringbearer was. Becky elbowed her cousin and put a finger to her lips but it was too late.  
  
"That's true," Aragorn said and then yelled across the water to Frodo, "What're you doing over there?"  
  
"Becky and Missy gave me four Milky Way bars to stay over here," Frodo called back. "Besides, you're due for a shampooing and a bath so I'm staying over here with the semi-clean people!"  
  
"But I'm clean!" Becky, Missy and Legolas shouted back in indignation.  
  
Aragorn sighed, "Tomorrow morning Frodo and Sam will join us over here, alright?"  
  
"Okay. That could work," Missy replied, shrugging.  
  
There was blessed silence for an entire minute and then Becky burst into song.  
  
"Ninety-nine bottles of miruvor on the branches of Mirkwood!" Becky sang in the most off-key voice the world has ever heard.  
  
"Ninety-eight bottles of miruvor on the branches of Mirkwood! Ninety-eight bottles of miruvor! You knock one down and pull 'em around! Now it's ninety- seven bottles of miruvor on the branches of Mirkwood!" Missy joined in.  
  
"Yo-ho ho and a bottle of Elf wine!" Becky giggled. "Yo-ho ho and blow the Elf down! We're on a pirate ship with Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp! Woo- hoo!"  
  
Legolas looked at Aragorn, with both eyebrows lifted, "What are they talking about?"  
  
"You expect me to know?" Aragorn replied, sighing.  
  
"You know Becky," Missy said. "Are those songs right? I mean, I think we're singing the wrong thing."  
  
"We are singing the wrong thing. I can't remember the rest of the songs," Becky replied with a shrug. She began singing again, "May it be an Evenstar?!"  
  
"You know I think I could be Missy Evenstar," Missy said, with a strange smile on her face. "Yeah I can totally see that. Missy Undómiel."  
  
"Oh no way!" Aragorn said. "You so cannot have the last name as my ex- beloved!"  
  
"Aragorn," Legolas whispered to him in shock. "What're you saying?"  
  
Aragorn blinked and shook his head, "I totally have no idea!"  
  
"OMG! You're starting to talk like them!" Legolas said and then clapped a hand over his mouth. "Aah! I totally don't know what I'm saying!"  
  
"OMG! They're talking like us now!" Becky giggled.  
  
"OMG! NO WAY! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" Legolas yelled and he got to his feet and dove into the river.  
  
"Leggy my love! NOOO! You can't die now!" Becky yelled over the edge of the boat. "I've only just begun thinking up the names for our children!"  
  
Aragorn immediately leapt overboard and several minutes later he resurfaced, dragging a wet, protesting Elf back to the boat.  
  
"Thank you Aragorn," Legolas replied when he was safely back on the boat and wrapped in Becky's new purple sash. "Although I did not need saving. I did that to get away from these two. Now I am back to normal, thank the Valar."  
  
"Oh Leggy don't ever do that again!" Becky slapped him lightly on the arm. "You gave me a quite a scare darling! Don't you ever do that again!"  
  
"Alright. Just stay far from me," Legolas said, batting Becky's outstretched arms away. He caught the sad look on her face and repented. "Okay. I'd like a hug."  
  
She dove at him and nearly hugged the air out of him. Missy joined her and Legolas began sputtering for air.  
  
"Sorry Leggy darling!" the cousins said simultaneously and then giggled again.  
  
"Are you alright Legolas?" Gimli called from the other boat.  
  
"Oh I am fine," Legolas said but then he looked with concern at Aragorn. "What about you, Estel? Are you well?"  
  
"I am better," Aragorn replied. "Anduin does wonders."  
  
"Let's get on with this boat ride," Missy said. "Or can I row?" She grabbed an oar and began paddling.  
  
"No no. That's alright," Aragorn pulled away the oar. "You can sit and keep Leggy company. I can do all the rowing just fine."  
  
"My name is Legolas, you fool of an Estel," Legolas said, indignantly and splashed water in Aragorn's face.  
  
Aragorn immediately splashed back water in his face, "Take that Elf Prince."  
  
"At least I'm a Prince who bathes!" Legolas shot back, furiously splashing water. "Here take some more water! Get a free bath!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" Becky and Missy flung themselves between the battling Prince and unbathed future King of Gondor. "No more fighting, kids."  
  
"I don't wanna see my Leggypoo's hair damaged!" Becky cooed as she once again strangled Legolas to half-death.  
  
The Ranger and the Elf settled back down on opposite ends of the boat, throwing glares in each other's direction.  
  
"Here's some M&M's for you and some Kit Kats for you," Becky tossed the candy at them and they immediately began tearing into them, forgetting to row the boat.  
  
The cousins immediately shoved them aside and grabbed the oars.  
  
"Swim, swim down the Riiiiver! Swim swim!" Becky giggled.  
  
"We're going down the River! The wonderful river of.whatchamacallit," Missy said, furiously paddling at the water.  
  
"ANDUIN!" Becky snarled angrily. "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW!"  
  
"Yes Ma," Missy replied, cowering as Becky aimed a leaf paddle full of water at her. "Hey! Don't get my pretty Elf Witch-Queen get up messed up!"  
  
"Sorry cousin!" Becky said and then began to sing once more, "I'm an Elf Witch-Queen. Queen Elf Witch. Elf Queen Witch. Witch Elf Queen. Witch Queen Elf. Lalalallalalalalalalallalallalala!"  
  
"Give me that paddle! Give me the paddle!" Aragorn commanded, attempting to take back the paddles from the cousins. "NOW!"  
  
"Eek! Don't let him get the paddles!" Becky screeched and she and Missy dove out of the way as Aragorn plummeted towards them.  
  
"Come on Missy. Let's play Pirates of the Caribbean," Becky picked up her paddle and got to her feet. She waved the paddle menacingly at her cousin.  
  
Missy got to her feet and the cousins began an impromptu game of 'Pirates of the Caribbean". They mimed tossing the paddles at each other.  
  
"That's it! HAND OVER THE PADDLES!" Aragorn dove once again to get back the paddles.  
  
In the cousins' haste to get away, the paddles were upset and they hit poor Aragorn straight over the head. Aragorn dropped facedown onto the bottom of the boat, unconscious.  
  
"LIKE OMYGOD! ARAGORN!" Becky and Missy screamed hysterically. They dropped to their knees and began shaking his shoulders but to no avail.  
  
"OH MY FUZZY! He's DEAD!" Becky screamed.  
  
"WE KILLED ARAGORN!" Missy shrieked, bursting in tears. "WE KILLED HIM!"  
  
"OMG! THE FANGIRLS ARE GONNA KILL US TOO! WE KILLED ARAGORN!" Becky began hyperventilating. "ARAGORN IS DEAD!"  
  
"Could the two of you please move?" Legolas asked, arriving on the scene having finished devouring his candy. He knew Aragorn couldn't be dead. He pushed aside the cousins and bent over his fallen comrade.  
  
"Aragorn? Aragorn?" he asked, pressing his fingers to Aragorn's left wrist. There was still a faint pulse there.  
  
"Well he isn't dead. Just unconscious," Legolas reported over to the other boat where everyone sat looking horrified.  
  
"Ohhhh!" Becky screamed ecstatically. "LEGGY YOU SAVED HIM! LEGGY I'M SOOOO PROUD OF YOU!" She flung her arms around the poor Elf and Missy joined in too.  
  
"You saved him Leggy you saved him!" Missy shrieked. "When's he gonna wake up?"  
  
"Um.soon," was all Legolas could say.  
  
"Who's gonna paddle the boat?" Becky asked, still poking Aragorn's shoulder.  
  
"You two are," Legolas said with a smile and presented the cousins with the oars. "NOW GET ROWING."  
  
"NO WAY! Rowing is really boring," Missy said. "I think I broke a nail just now."  
  
"You don't have any nails to break," Becky interrupted.  
  
"Neither do you!" Missy replied, sticking out her tongue.  
  
Becky replied by sticking out her tongue too. "IMMATURE!"  
  
"YOU'RE IMMATURE!"  
  
"NU-Uh. You're immature!"  
  
"NO YOU!"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"I'm telling LEGOLAS!" Becky hissed at her cousin and turned to Legolas, "She said I'm immature!"  
  
"The two of you are immature. Now will you be quiet PLEASE and give me the paddles," Legolas held out his hands.  
  
"Sure," the cousins eagerly shoved the paddles at him and took a seat.  
  
"My butt is stiff," Becky complained almost immediately.  
  
"I HATE BOATS," Missy put in.  
  
"I'm bored," Becky said, twiddling with her thumbs.  
  
"SHUT UP!" all the occupants of the other boat yelled over.  
  
"Sooooooorrrrrry," Becky and Missy said in unison.  
  
"Elessar, Aragorn, Strider, Wingfoot, Telcontar-" Becky droned on and on calling every single one of Aragorn's names she could remember as she began shaking his shoulders again. "PLEASE WAKE UP!"  
  
"Ooh! Wait.chocolate!" Missy suggested, grabbing several Milky Ways and waving them under Aragorn's nose. The Ranger still lay motionless.  
  
"Gummi Bears?" Becky suggested. "Caramel popcorn? Skittles? M &M's? SOMETHING?!!!!!! ANYTHING?!!!!"  
  
"Arwen in Cool Whip," the words were out of Legolas' mouth before he realized exactly what he was saying. He turned to Becky and Missy, "What did I just say?"  
  
At the moment it didn't really matter what Legolas had just said because Aragorn's eyes flew open and he sat bolt right up.  
  
"Where? Where?" Aragorn looked around expectantly but caught the shocked look on everyone's faces. "Where is she?"  
  
"EWWWWWWWW!!" was all Becky could utter. "EWWWW!!!"  
  
Missy was horrified and covered her younger cousin's eyes.  
  
"ARAGORN ELESSAR ESTEL STRIDER RANGER," she began. "I'm ashamed of you!"  
  
"Yeah," all the Hobbits chimed even though they didn't quite understand what Cool Whip.  
  
Missy reached over into the other boat and into Sam backpack and pulled out his frying pan, all the while shouting, "I'll teach you a lesson, mister!"  
  
"What are you doing?" Aragorn shrieked, dodging out of Missy's grasp. "You'll tip us over!"  
  
"No she won't," Legolas put in and sat back to watch his friend finally get knocked over the head with the frying pan.  
  
"OUCH!" Aragorn exclaimed and he began wrestling with Missy for the pan. She held it valiantly over her head but since Aragorn was much taller he wrestled it from her easily.  
  
"That's it! TIME OUT for the THREE of you," Aragorn said and pointed to the furthest edge of the boat.  
  
"THREE of you?" Legolas repeated. "Which three of us?"  
  
"You, Becky and Missy," Aragorn said, sitting down and beginning to row again.  
  
"This is so not fair," Legolas pouted but took a seat next to Becky. "This is all your fault Missy!"  
  
"No way. It was your fault Legolas," Missy replied.  
  
"Uh-uh. Yours."  
  
"No yours!"  
  
"YOURS!"  
  
"YOURS!"  
  
"YOU!" that was Becky's brilliant put in.  
  
"It was you Becky!"  
  
"NO WAY LEGGY!"  
  
"Uh-uh," Missy put in.  
  
"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Legolas moaned. He buried his face in his hands and prepared for the rest of that ever-so-long journey down the river.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Well there's the end of Chapter 19! What did you'll think?!! I should have a lot more time to write now since VACATION HAS STARTED!!! WOO-HOO!! I'm gonna have an Orlando Bloom-filled summer. That's the only thing I'm watching on TV AND OF COURSE THE LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND Interview with the Vampire if it shows and The Queen of the Damned if that shows too and Black Hawk Down if it shows and.yeah I'm gonna shut up NOW!  
  
Review Replies:  
  
Guess again-Well I'd never hurt Leggikins he's too much of a darling. But I don't really mind these anonymous reviews so much! :D thanks for them!  
  
Anime princess-Thanks for the review!  
  
Cotume-If I'm hyper and I know it I'm kissing an Elf! *smooches Leggy and Haldir* Ooh definitely get a Haldir Lives T-Shirt which reminds me I gotta go get one myself! I agree totally, Haldir is so so hot! IT WAS NOT FUNNY! How could Leggy break my heart by making me jump that gap and then he said he wouldn't marry me! Wahhh! Who doesn't love Legolas? I've watched too much TV and I've been on the net too much! It's the Candy cane Eyebrows by the way! I WILL MARRY LEGOLAS! Or how about we ALL marry Legolas?! Use chocolate as a bait.it should work. Thanks for the compliments! MY story rocks!!!  
  
XM6-Well you just gotta stay tuned to find out! On your favorite's list?! I'm so beyond touched. *Hug*  
  
Elróthiel-Hi! Happy Belated Birthday, dear! Hope it was good! MY EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! I DID AWFULLY AWFUL JUST DON'T ASK! Well I guess now we find out what's in those boxes. No Gimli won't stand on the boxes.to short. He might fall through! Ooh.Neo Leggy and Baldspotted Haldir. Me likes :D. I'll check out your story sometime and I should drop a review ;) If I'm feeling nice. Don't worry I will! Thanks for the compliments! 


	21. Chapter 20: The Breaking of The Fellowsh...

HELLO AGAIN PEOPLES!!!!! Here is your dear authoress Becky Greenleaf again :D. Thankies everyone for all the reviews they've sent. They've been much appreciated. Your notes are on the bottom.  
  
Well here it is you'll. The VERY VERY VERY LAST CHAPTER IN THE MAYHEM IN MIDDLE-EARTH FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING EDITION. Not to worry.The Two Towers is on its way! And is guaranteed to be more insane than this :D So it's The Great River, The Breaking Of The Fellowship and The Departure of Boromir all rolled into this one chapter. BTW, it is all MOVIEVERSE. Oh and.that's not the proper way to use curlers. I wouldn't know as I have never used curlers WITH HAIRSPRAY. Only without. Yeah and I really should stop saying 'meanwhile'.  
  
Disclaimer: I own myself and this story. All the characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl belongs to Gore Verbinski or Jerry Bruckheimer or Disney or whoever owns it. Johnny Depp belongs to himself. (Sadly. It would be fun to own him and make him act out Captain Jack Sparrow everyday ;)) Twix, Milky Way, Snickers etc. DO NOT BELONG TO ME. They belong to the wonderful people who created them. I do not own Rainbow Sticks either. I'm not quite sure who owns Rainbow Sticks. Don't own Goldeneye. Don't own James Bond. I don't own Ronin and I don't own Don't Say A Word. All those aforementioned movies belong to their directors\writers whoever but IT'S NOT ME!  
  
Seeing as this is the last chapter in the Fellowship, this is going to be dedicated to more than two people. Also I'm getting fed up of counting reviews to see who've given me so much, so I'll just pick you guys randomly okay? I hope you don't mind!!! :D *Drumroll* This chapter is dedicated to Celtic Dawn Star, Rogue Solus and Guess (the anonymous person who keeps leaving me all these reviews!)  
  
OH and BTW, I have a Yahoo! Group now. It's a Lord of the Rings Group but we talk about all the actors and the movies and stuff like that. You can join even if you have MSN or AOL or whatever. If you wanna join just send me an email at my address: popiceprincess@hotmail.com and tell me that you want to join so I'll send you an invitation. Okay?  
  
Chapter 20: The Breaking of the Fellowship  
  
"One fishie, two fishie, three fishie, four," Becky sang loudly as she used her bright pink file to eh what else? file her non-existent nails.  
  
"Five fishie, six fishie, seven fishie, eight," Missy finished, putting another blue curler in Frodo's head. Sam administered a blast of strawberry- scented hairspray. Poor Frodo looked mortified as Becky popped in a bright pink curler and Sam sprayed his hair again.  
  
It was the next day and Frodo and Sam had joined Becky, Missy, Legolas and Aragorn in their boat and had left Merry, Pippin, Boromir and Gimli in the other.  
  
"You know, now that I think about it Frodo doesn't really need curlers does he?" Becky asked, curling a handful of Frodo's thick, ALREADY CURLY hair around a yellow curler.  
  
"That's true," Missy said, blinking with the realization. "Exactly why are we doing this?"  
  
"Because Aragorn's hair is extremely dirty and he refuses to allow you to wash it, Sam is to spray the hair in the curlers with hairspray and he needs to administer the Milky Way bar to Frodo if the hair pull you give him hurts too much, I WILL NOT LET THE TWO OF YOU NEAR MY HAIR and all the others are too far for you too reach," Legolas rattled off, by heart. He'd had to repeat that exactly twenty-two times in the past hour and a half.  
  
"Oh! I completely forgot!" Becky giggled and then looked at Frodo. "I think that's about it. Let's put the hairnet over it."  
  
Together Becky and Missy put on the bright pink hairnet over the trembling Frodo's head.  
  
"There," Becky gazed at their handiwork. "How beautiful! Now Frodo, you ARE UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES TO TOUCH OR WET YOUR HAIR. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"  
  
"Yes ma'am," Frodo and Sam said simultaneously.  
  
"You should leave it in overnight and that should do the trick," Missy said. "But if you want it really, really, really, really curly after you leave it on overnight, take them out of your hair BUT DO NOT BRUSH, check your hair's progress and then put the curlers back in, SPRAY ONCE AGAIN and leave it for about two days."  
  
"Oh. Okay," was all Frodo could say as he tentatively lifted a hand and poked at the hairnet.  
  
"I SAID DON'T TOUCH!" Becky shouted. Frodo immediately sat on his hand.  
  
There came a loud cry from the forest along the banks of the river and everything immediately fell silent. Even Becky and Missy stopped and blinked. Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir stopped rowing.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn immediately turned to the side and peered into the forest. The cries came again and Becky and Missy whimpered and hugged each other.  
  
"What is it?" Missy whispered to Becky, beginning to nibble the tips of her flesh as she had already eaten off all her fingernails.  
  
"Shh!" Becky whispered, signaling for her cousin to be quiet for once.  
  
Legolas shook his head, not quite sure of exactly what lurked in the depths of the forest. He picked up his paddle and indicated for Aragorn to do so.  
  
They began rowing faster and faster down the river. Finally after several minutes of silence and extremely quick rowing they catch sight of two gigantic stone statues in the distance.  
  
"Way! Those are some REALLY BIG STATUES!" Becky said, breaking the silence. She gazed at them in wonder. "I never knew how cool they'd look unless I was like, gazing right up at them!"  
  
Aragorn tapped Frodo gently on the shoulder, making sure to avoid touching the hairnet. "Frodo. Argonath. Long have I desired to look upon the Kings of old. My kin."  
  
"So what happened to Becky and Missy?" Becky said, pouting. "And Sam. And Leggy. So the only person you tell is Frodo?!"  
  
"Oh be quiet!" Aragorn commanded, thoroughly fed up of Becky's non-stop babbling. Becky gave him the Evil Elf Eye and stuck out her now purple tongue at him.  
  
"Ooh! Elrondie would LOVE the color of your tongue!" Missy giggled, popping an entire pack of bright blue gum into her mouth. "Ooh. I want my tongue blue!"  
  
"I want my tongue green," Frodo put in.  
  
"Here's a Rainbow Stick," Becky handed him something that resembled a candy cane without the hook part. It was striped with all colors of the rainbow imaginable. "I-I-I hope you enjoy it!" She burst into hysterical tears and buried her face in Legolas' shoulder.  
  
"Oh FRODO!" Missy embraced the shocked Hobbit and immediately turned away and began sobbing too.  
  
"Oh and Sam!" Becky tackled Sam into a hug with Frodo and Missy and the cousins sobbed into the Hobbits' shoulders.  
  
"Never mind!" Aragorn sighed impatiently and turned away from the cousins. He and Legolas began rowing faster and faster and they quickly passed between the two statues.  
  
Becky and Missy stopped crying a whole new river that could rival Anduin and immediately brought out their cameras and snapped away madly.  
  
Finally they came to the western shore of the river and everyone began piling out of the boats and unloading all the supplies.  
  
Well, everyone except for Becky and Missy who both surprisingly stayed put.  
  
"Come on, you two. I thought your 'butts were going stiff'," Aragorn said.  
  
The cousins ignored him and got to their feet even as Aragorn and Legolas were still unloading their stuff.  
  
"Okay. On the count of three." Becky said. "One, two, THREE!"  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Legolas cried but it was already too late. The cousins leaped into the water with a huge splash and they soaked everyone to the bone.  
  
They resurfaced a few seconds later, giggling insanely. They paddled to shore and began wringing out their hair and clothes.  
  
"I can't believe the two of you!" Legolas shouted. "You wet my hair! I'm going to hurt the two of you!"  
  
"Oh no!" Aragorn exclaimed. "I'm wet! Does this mean that I sort of got a bath? I'll hurt the two of you too!"  
  
"Ahhh!" the cousins took off running but didn't get that far before Aragorn and Legolas tackled them and dragged them back to the trees.  
  
"Hey put me down you bad Elf!" Becky shouted at Legolas, who was holding her well off the ground so she couldn't run anywhere. But then she changed her tone. "Ooh! I've always wanted Legolas to pick me up! Leggy you're so strong! OOF!"  
  
Legolas had immediately dropped her onto the ground like a sack of bad mushrooms.  
  
"Haha. Aragorn still has me!!" Missy said but Aragorn dropped her right next to her cousin. "Aww! Hey! That hurt!"  
  
"We cross the lake at nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north," Aragorn replied through clenched teeth as he squeezed the water out of his clothes and hair.  
  
"CONTINUE ON FOOT?!" Missy said, eyes wide. "But.but.I'm wearing my strapped platforms."  
  
"Well then you'll have to take them off," Legolas said, performing the same trick he'd done in Rivendell: he shook out himself like a dog and was instantly dry and perfect once again. :)  
  
"Oh, yes? Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks?" Gimli said, squeezing water out of his beard. "And after that, it gets even better! Festering, stinking marshlands, as far as the eye can see!"  
  
"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Ooh! I just love the way your voice sounds when you say that!" Missy sighed, digging through her backpack for some fresh clothes.  
  
"Recover my." Gimli muttered incredulously.  
  
"Don't waste your time," Becky whispered to Missy but Aragorn and Legolas overheard her.  
  
"Why?" Aragorn asked, coming over to them. "She might catch a cold."  
  
"Oh er.nothing," Becky replied, eyes wide. "I didn't say anything."  
  
"Yes you did," Legolas chimed in. "You said 'don't waste your time'."  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE! Don't put me in interrogation! I swear I didn't do it!" Becky broke into tears and dropped down onto her knees and placed her hands in a begging motion. "Please don't send me to the big padded room at the end of the hall!!!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Legolas asked, gazing at her concernedly. Every time he talked to this girl, he seriously worried about her mental health.  
  
"Oh yeah. What am I talking about?" Becky grinned sheepishly and got to her feet. "Whoopsie daisy!"  
  
Aragorn and Legolas shook their heads and wandered away from the cousins.  
  
"We should leave now," Legolas said quietly to Aragorn.  
  
"No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for the cover of darkness," Aragorn replied.  
  
"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near. I can feel it," Legolas stared into the depths of the forest.  
  
"And not a soul listens to the eldest and the hottest of you all," Becky interrupted. "I think that you people really should start listening to the Hot Elf. I mean he doesn't have heightened senses for no reason, does he? And when he tries to help you out you ignore his warnings and he could really truly save you a lot of trouble."  
  
"You know that was the first thing you've ever said that makes at least some sense," Pippin said, munching on a mini Twix that Missy had given him.  
  
"Yeah." Becky said now realizing the fact. "Oh Pippin! You're so smart!"  
  
Becky tossed herself at the Hobbit and hugged him. She buried her face in his hair and began sobbing. "Oh you too, Merry!"  
  
She pulled Merry and Missy into the hug and the cousins began crying even louder and more hysterically.  
  
"Okay that's it. Let GO," Aragorn grabbed Becky and Missy by the backs of their soaking wet shirts and dragged them away from the choking Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Recover strength..." Gimli went on. He turned to Pippin. "Pay no heed to that, young Hobbit."  
  
"Where's Frodo?" Merry said suddenly, noticing that he could no longer see Frodo's pink hairnet.  
  
Everyone immediately looked up and noticed the hobbit missing but Aragorn realized that Boromir was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Come on, Missy. Let's go find that cute little Hobbity," Becky said and before anyone could protest the cousins had taken off into the woods.  
  
A few minutes later the cousins saw Frodo wandering alone through the woods, sucking away happily on his Rainbow Stick. Suddenly Boromir appeared, collecting firewood.  
  
Becky motioned for Missy to be quiet and they hid behind a large patch of bushes and a conveniently positioned tree.  
  
"None of us should wander alone. You least of all. So much depends on you. Frodo? I know why you seek solitude. You suffer. I see it day by day. Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo. Other paths that we might take," Boromir said, completely unaware that Becky and Missy lurked nearby.  
  
"I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart," Frodo replied, chewing up a bit of Rainbow Stick and then sticking out his tongue and tried to see what color it was. "Is my tongue green yet?"  
  
"Warning? Against what?" Boromir asked. "No. It's sort of blue."  
  
He began advancing towards Frodo who backed away immediately. "We're all afraid, Frodo, but to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see, it's madness."  
  
"There is no other way," Frodo replied.  
  
"I ask only for the strength to defend my people!" Boromir snarled. He tossed the firewood violently onto the ground, causing Becky and Missy to whimper in fright.  
  
"If you would but lend me the Ring," Boromir went on, unaware of the whimpering noises that the bushes were making.  
  
"NO!" Frodo backed away even further.  
  
"Why do you recoil? I am no thief!" Boromir said.  
  
"You are not yourself!" Frodo replied in a trembling voice, nearly dropping his Rainbow Stick.  
  
"What chance do you think you have? They will find you. They will take the Ring. And you will beg for death before the end!" Boromir shouted after Frodo who had turned and was walking away.  
  
"You fool! It is not yours save by unhappy chance," Boromir went on, with an evil glint in his eyes. He walked towards Frodo who started running. "It could have been mine. It should be mine!" He lunged at Frodo and tackled him to the ground.  
  
"Give it to me! Give me the Ring!" Boromir demanded.  
  
"NO!" Frodo shouted, struggling to speak around the Rainbow Stick in his mouth. He put on the Ring and disappeared. He hit Boromir and the latter jumps away.  
  
"I see your mind!! You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You go to your death! And the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you and all the Halflings!" Boromir shouted in a rage. He slipped and tumbled down the hill.  
  
"Frodo? Frodo. What have I done? Please, Frodo..." Boromir said, realizing what he had done. "Frodo, I'm sorry! Frodo!"  
  
He suddenly noticed the whimpering and dashed over to the bushes to see Becky and Missy gazing up at him fearfully. They screamed when they saw him and took off running into the distance.  
  
Meanwhile Frodo still had the Ring on and the world was in darkness. He saw the Tower of Barad-dûr and he saw the Eye of Sauron.  
  
"GIVE ME THAT RAINBOW STICK!" The Eye commanded. And then as if as an afterthought, "Give me the Ring too!"  
  
"THE RING AND THE RAINBOW STICK ARE MINE!" Frodo shouted back. He removed the Ring from his finger and world immediately came back into light. He caught sight of Aragorn coming towards him.  
  
"Frodo?" Aragorn calls, part of his worry relieved. He'd set off himself to look for Boromir, Frodo, Becky and Missy when they hadn't returned.  
  
"It has taken Boromir," Frodo panted, taking a hearty suck of his Rainbow Stick. Darn that wicked Sauron for wanting his Rainbow Stick.  
  
"Where is the Ring?" Aragorn asked, his voice sounding somewhat harsh.  
  
"Stay away!" Frodo said, backing away. "How many times must I tell you people? The Rainbow Stick is mine! Go get your own!"  
  
"Frodo! I swore to protect you!" Aragorn declared, coming forward. "And I don't want your Rainbow Stick."  
  
"Can you protect me from yourself?" Frodo asked, showing the Ring to Aragorn. "Would you destroy it?" He held out his hand to Aragorn.  
  
"Aragorn. Aragorn. Elessar," the Ring called to Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn knelt before Frodo and closed Frodo's hand over the Ring.  
  
"I would have gone with you to the end. Into the very fires of Mordor," Aragorn said, his voice thick with emotion.  
  
"I know. Look after the others. Especially Sam. He will not understand," Frodo said.  
  
Aragorn nodded but leapt to his feet and drew out his sword.  
  
Frodo realized and unsheathed Sting. The sword was glowing blue.  
  
"Go, Frodo," Aragorn commanded. "Run. RUN!"  
  
Frodo took off running with a sweep of his Elven cloak and Aragorn turned to fight the oncoming Orc army.  
  
He immediately began taking down the Orc-like creatures left, right and center. :)  
  
"Mr. Frodo!" Sam called, as he ran through the forest, far from the action taking place with Aragorn and the Orc-like thingies.  
  
"Find the Halfling! Find the Halfling!" an Uruk-hai cried out.  
  
Several Orcs and Uruk-hai chased Aragorn up a stone structure and he leapt off it, crying, "Elendil!"  
  
He landed on his back on the ground, still slaughtering the creatures that attacked him from all sides.  
  
Legolas and Gimli appear, Becky and Missy at their heels.  
  
"Aragorn, go!" Legolas cried, shooting down all the Orc-like thingies. He poked an Orc in the eye with an arrow and as it fell, he strung it in his bow and shot the one behind it.  
  
"Yeah you kick butt Leggy!" Becky cheered. An Uruk-hai headed straight for her and Missy but it was immediately hewn down by a strike of Gimli's axe.  
  
"Oh yeah you go Gimli! It's your birthday!" Missy giggled.  
  
In the meantime, Frodo had been running through the woods when he decided to seek shelter behind a tree. He sees Merry and Pippin hiding.  
  
"Frodo!" Merry called.  
  
"Hide here, quick! Come on!" Pippin called but Frodo shook his head.  
  
"What's he doing?" Pippin turned to Merry as Frodo shook his head again.  
  
"He's leaving," Merry said, suddenly realizing what Frodo meant to do.  
  
"NO!" Pippin cried loudly.  
  
"Pippin!" his cousin chided.  
  
But it was too late, Pippin jumped out of his hiding place and Merry quickly followed. They saw Orcs coming closer.  
  
"Run Frodo. Go!" Merry called to Frodo.  
  
"Hey, hey you! Over here!" Merry called, waving to the oncoming Orcs.  
  
"Over here! Over here! This way!" Pippin cried. "It's working!"  
  
"I know it's working! RUN!" Merry yelled and he and Pippin began running.  
  
Meanwhile, Legolas was slashing his way through more and more Orcs with those cute little Elven knives of his.  
  
"Ooh! Where are our Elven blades?" Becky asked Missy. They ducked to avoid the sword of an Uruk-hai right before Aragorn sliced off its head.  
  
"You SO RULE, Aragorn!" Becky and Missy giggled insanely.  
  
"Ooh wait! Here they are!" Becky pulled out her Elven blade from her pocket and waved it menacingly. "I am the Kung-Fu soon-to-be-the-Queen of Mirkwood. All will fear me!" She tossed Missy her own and Missy narrowly avoided chopping off several of her own fingers.  
  
"And I am the future Queen of Gondor. All had better run from me! Hi-yah!!" Missy waved the blade and began imitating some moves from the last karate show she'd seen.  
  
"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE THE QUEEN OF MIRKWOOD!" Legolas said, shooting several Orcs. "In your dreams but never, never in reality. I'd denounce my Princeship if that ever happened."  
  
"Me too!" Aragorn said, slaughtering several more Orcs with his sword. "I'd denounce my Kingship and I'd go live in a hole!"  
  
Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn laughed heartily.  
  
"That's not very funny!" Becky and Missy pouted, still fending off the Orcs with jabs of the Elven blades.  
  
Meanwhile Merry and Pippin were fleeing valiantly from the Orcs but soon they were surrounded when another large group of Orcs appeared from another end of the forest.  
  
An Orc swung an axe at Pippin but Boromir appeared and began slaughtering many Orcs.  
  
Merry and Pippin take the hint and draw their swords and they both leapt on an Uruk-hai and brought it down.  
  
Back on the other side of the forest Becky, Missy, Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas are still battling Orcs and Uruk-hai.  
  
Aragorn is murdering many of the creatures but one had him in a particularly tight grip but Legolas immediately loosed an arrow and the Orc was caught in the back. It dropped Aragorn and fell to the ground dead.  
  
The loud sound of a horn echoes through out the forest.  
  
"The Horn of Gondor," Legolas said.  
  
"Ooh! Look at that spot of dirt on your forehead," Becky sighed. "It makes you look even hotter!"  
  
"Boromir!" Aragorn said, shoving his way past Legolas.  
  
"Hey, don't run the Hot Elf over!" Becky shouted after him as they all took off to find Boromir.  
  
"Run! Run!" Boromir yelled to Merry and Pippin on the other side of the forest. Merry and Pippin run a few meters away and they stop.  
  
Lurtz appears over the top of the hill as Boromir continues to slaughter the Orcs and it drew its bow and sent an arrow at Boromir.  
  
It caught him in the chest. Boromir dropped to his knees for a moment but went on fighting valiantly. Lurtz snarled in anger and as Boromir went on fighting, shot him again in the chest.  
  
Boromir staggered a bit and for a moment it looked to Merry, Pippin and the Uruk-hai that it was all over but Boromir got shakily to his feet again and began fighting with the Orcs and Uruk-hai again.  
  
Lurtz snarled angrily and shot Boromir again. To everyone else it appears as if he's finally dying and Merry and Pippin in anger attack the Uruk-hai but they are taken and Boromir can do nothing to help them.  
  
As they make off with the Hobbits, Lurtz comes right up to Boromir and draws his bow to shoot him in the head.  
  
Out of nowhere Aragorn appears and begins battling Lurtz. Becky and Missy appeared suddenly and began cheering Aragorn on.  
  
"Woo-hoo! You kick his slimy butt Aragorn!" Becky cheered, clapping merrily.  
  
"Go Aragorn! Yeah go Aragorn!" Missy chimed, dancing.  
  
Lurtz threw a shield at Aragorn and it pinned him to a nearby tree for a few moments before he tossed it off and came out with an awful nosebleed.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU?!" Missy shrieked. "I'm gonna kill you, you evil creature!"  
  
Becky grabbed her cousin and held her in place from tearing apart Lurtz. "You don't have to kill him, Aragorn does!"  
  
Aragorn removed his knife and stabbed Lurtz in his leg. The Uruk-hai snarled in pain and knocked Aragorn away. It then pulled the knife out of its leg and licked the blood off it.  
  
"Ewww! That's just nasty!" Becky declared, gagging. Missy nodded her agreement.  
  
Aragorn sliced off its arm and stabbed it through the chest with his sword. Finally Aragorn beheaded it and it dropped to its knees, dead.  
  
"That was so wicked!" Becky said, hugging him.  
  
"Totally awesome!" Missy agreed.  
  
"Thank you," Aragorn whispered, panting but he gently pushed them aside and raced over to Boromir.  
  
"No," he murmured, looking down at his dying comrade.  
  
"They took the little ones," Boromir choked, his face pale.  
  
"Stay still," Aragorn said.  
  
"Boromir sweetie?" Becky asked, eyes shining with tears.  
  
"Hello Becky, Hi Missy," he managed to choke out, lifting his hand in a feeble wave towards them.  
  
He turned back to Aragorn. "Frodo. Where is Frodo?"  
  
"I let Frodo go," Aragorn admitted. At that Becky let out a loud sniffle.  
  
"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him," Boromir said.  
  
"The Ring is beyond our reach now," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all," Boromir said.  
  
"No, Boromir. You fought bravely. You have kept your honor," Aragorn assured him. He went to remove an arrow from Boromir.  
  
"Leave it! It is over. The world of Men will fall. And all will come to darkness. My city to ruin," Boromir said, stopping Aragorn.  
  
Becky burst into full-fledged tears and she and Missy who had been standing a little way off, rushed to Boromir's side.  
  
"Oh Boromir!" Becky buried her face in his shoulder. "I wish you didn't have to die! I'm soooorrrryyyyy!!! Boromir, my other love, do not leave me!"  
  
"I AM NOT YOUR LOVE!" Boromir shouted with whatever little bit of strength he had left in him.  
  
"Soorrryyyy. Touché," Becky pouted. "Oh! I don't want you to die! Why did J.R.R. Tolkien have to kill you in his book?"  
  
"Maybe he wanted some tragedy," Missy pointed out, drying away her tears.  
  
"That's true," Becky nodded but went on, "But why poor Boromir? I mean Sean Bean did a really good Boromir. But then again Sean Bean is a really good actor."  
  
"He is? What other shows has he acted in?" Missy asked. "I only remember this movie."  
  
"He was in TONS of others," Becky said, nodding. "He was in this James Bond movie: Goldeneye. I found the movie was good. He was also in Don't Say A Word. Oh! His accent was so thick and Irish-y. It was so dreamy. And he was in Ronin too! I've seen Ronin so many times! Do you know that Daddy really likes that show? And-"  
  
"EXCUSE ME but we are trying to have a peaceful last few moments in this death scene?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Oh! Oops! Go on," Becky motioned for them to go on.  
  
Aragorn and Boromir rolled their eyes but continued.  
  
"I do not know what strength is in my blood. But I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall. Nor our people fail," Aragorn said.  
  
"I love your voice when you say that," Becky sighed and she and Missy giggled maniacally.  
  
"Our people," Boromir repeated and Aragorn nodded.  
  
"Our people," Boromir said again and Aragorn gave this really cute nod that made Becky and Missy shriek with delight.  
  
Aragorn ignored them and handed Boromir his sword.  
  
Legolas and Gimli run up to them, grief and sadness etched in their faces.  
  
"FOR THE LOVE OF LEMBAS, you look so hot when you're sad!" Becky giggled and leaving Boromir's side, she tackled Legolas and wrapped him in a tight hug.  
  
Fortunately (for Becky) in this moment of grief, Legolas actually patted her on the back.  
  
"I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king," Boromir said to Aragorn who looked down at him sadly.  
  
"Buh bye Borymir," Becky sniffled, reaching back by his side and tugging on his hair.  
  
"Bye bye," Missy echoed, sniffling.  
  
"Bye girls," Boromir whispered and then grew still.  
  
"Oh no Boromir!" Becky wailed and began sobbing even harder. "NO!"  
  
"Oh wait," Boromir said, suddenly coming alive again. "One last thing: ARAGORN TAKE A BATH FOR FUZZY'S SAKE, MAN!" Then he closed his eyes and went still again.  
  
"Be at peace, son of Gondor," Aragorn whispered and kissed Boromir's forehead. Becky could have sworn she'd seen Boromir's nose twitch but she passed it off as just a moment of her usual madness.  
  
"They will look for his coming from the White Tower but he will not return," Aragorn said, standing up. As the sunlight shone down on his face, a tear slid down his cheek.  
  
"Frodo!" Sam called, running through the forest searching for Frodo, far from the sad death that had just taken place and Frodo.  
  
Meanwhile, Frodo was standing by the boats, holding the Ring in his hand. Fat tears slid down his cute little Hobbit cheeks.  
  
He was remembering in Moria when he had been talking to Gandalf.  
  
"I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened," Frodo had said to Gandalf.  
  
"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide," Gandalf had replied. "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."  
  
Frodo's hand closed over the Ring and running to the water's edge he set off in one of the boats.  
  
"Frodo, no!!! Frodo! Mr. Frodo!" Sam called, running out onto shore. He ran into the water after Frodo.  
  
"No, Sam," Frodo said softly to himself. Then he called over his shoulder to Sam, "Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone."  
  
"Of course you are. And I'm coming with you!!" Sam said, wading deeper into the water.  
  
"You can't swim. Sam!" Frodo called. Suddenly Sam's head slipped underneath the water. "SAM!"  
  
"The things I have to do," Frodo sighed.  
  
Underneath the water, Sam is struggling to reach a ray of light coming from above the water's surface but soon his whole body goes limp and begins to sink. Frodo's hand appeared underneath the water and grabbed Sam's wrist. Suddenly Sam's hand tightens around Frodo's and he hauls him to the surface and into the boat with some difficulty.  
  
"I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise: "Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to. I don't mean to," Sam said, struggling to breath.  
  
"Oh, Sam," Frodo said and he embraced Sam, the both of them in tears. "Come on, then."  
  
Frodo and Sam row off together, eastward across Anduin.  
  
Back at the western shore, Boromir's body is laid out on one of the Elven boats, his hands clasped around his sword. Aragorn tries on Boromir's gauntlets and he stares into the distance, as Boromir's funeral boat drifts down to the falls of Rauros, and swept over the side. Gimli stands alone, at one side and Becky and Missy were sitting on shore now in fresh, new clothes and they had finally taken off their platform shoes.  
  
Legolas pushes one of the Elven boats hurriedly into the water.  
  
"Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore!" Legolas said, glancing at his companions when he saw they made no movement to follow. Aragorn looks across the river where the backs of Sam and Frodo can be seen rushing off into the distance.  
  
"You mean not to follow them," Legolas realized.  
  
"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands," Aragorn said, decidedly.  
  
"Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship has failed," Gimli said and that caused Becky to burst into sobs.  
  
"Not if we hold true to each other," Aragorn said, beckoning Becky and Missy over. He placed his hands on Legolas and Gimli's shoulders. Becky and Missy pressed themselves onto either of his sides. "We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let's hunt some Orc."  
  
"YES!!!" Gimli declared and Legolas smiled.  
  
Becky and Missy giggled as they hurried away to put on their sneakers.  
  
"TRAVEL LIGHT?" Becky echoed, suddenly catching what Aragorn had just said. "TRAVEL LIGHT? HELLO, I need all my clothes and all my stuff. I mean there's CHOCOLATE hidden everywhere in our suitcases."  
  
"Come Becky dear," Legolas declared, rushing to her side. "Let me help you with those many bags of yours."  
  
"Ah yes Missy," Aragorn said, suddenly materializing by Missy. "That suitcase looks really heavy. Let me help you there."  
  
"Oh and of course you girls, always know to count on me to help you out," Gimli smiled at them.  
  
"Of course!" Becky and Missy grinned and piled all their suitcases onto them. "Thank you all so much! You'll get your rewards along the way!"  
  
As they made sure that they were ready to go, a slight sound caught Legolas' ear.  
  
"What is it?" Aragorn asked, his remaining free FINGER on his sword.  
  
"I thought I heard someone scream," Legolas said but he listened hard again and there was silence. "Oh well. Let us go."  
  
Everyone set off at a slow pace into the forest, as they could no longer move any faster because they were laden with suitcases.  
  
Suddenly, a scream echoed throughout the forest and this time they ALL heard it.  
  
"YOU IDIOTS! I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
"Mordor. I hope the others find a safer road," Frodo said as he and Sam stood looking at the long road to Mordor.  
  
"Strider will look after them," Sam assured.  
  
"I really hope he takes great care of Becky and Missy. They're so young. I'm beginning to wonder if they should have ever come with us," Frodo said, sadly.  
  
"Oh no!" said Sam. "They seemed to have enjoyed every moment."  
  
"Yeah," Frodo said, with a small smile. "I don't suppose we'll ever see them again. The rest of the Fellowship I mean."  
  
"We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may," Sam said.  
  
"Sam." Frodo said with a smile. "I'm glad you're with me."  
  
"Though," he went on. "I could really do with Becky and Missy here. I am like, seriously craving like, a chocolate bar."  
  
"Like, oh my gosh! I totally forgot! They gave me a whole bagful last night!" Sam said, digging through his backpack and lo and behold he held up a huge garbage bag full of chocolate.  
  
"THANK YOU BECKY AND MISSY!" Frodo cried to the world at large. "I love the two of you!"  
  
"We love you guys too!" Becky and Missy mysteriously appeared right next to the Hobbits and planted kisses on their cheeks. "We'll miss you guys!"  
  
"And by the way Frodo. DON'T FORGET what we told you about the hair, okay?" Becky said, patting Frodo on the shoulder. "You're going to look so cute and curly by the time it's done!!"  
  
They disappeared again and Frodo and Sam just blinked.  
  
"You know the two of them really scare me sometimes," Frodo said.  
  
"Maybe it's where they come from. Maybe the people on Earth act like that," Sam replied.  
  
"Earth. Must be chockfull of insane people."  
  
FIN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well at least for The Fellowship of the Ring part of Mayhem in Middle- Earth. Not to worry, my loyal readers. The Two Towers is on the horizon. I hoped you enjoyed this last chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don't forget to review and tell me how much you loved this story ;) ;)  
  
Ooh.review notes. Couldn't forget that!  
  
Review Notes:  
  
Sweet-n-sour-slytherin: Thanks so much for the review!! Nah.can't kill Arwen. Though it would be really funny but noooooo.soorrry! Ooh.please come back and finish the story and don't forget to drop me a review!!!!  
  
Crimson Starlight: Ooh! Thank you soo much for the review! Ooh! Amusing! I feel so nice! Everyone tells me my story is funny! Come back and read more now. Don't be a stranger!  
  
Cotume: YAY! Everyone will marry him!!! When will we have the wedding? Get yo butt back here Leggy and let me put a nice big kiss on you! My story rocks! Woo-hoo! So here's the update! Thankies for the review!  
  
Rogue Solus-So you've visited again? HI! Thankies for the review. Don't forget to come back for more madness!  
  
Guess who-OMG! OMG! OMG! Eeeee! Can't wait to see it!  
  
Celtic Dawn Star-HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHEN POTC COMES OUT?!! That date is burned into my memory: Wednesday July 9th 2003!!!! No one can love Leggy more.than his mother. Nope no one can. Thanks for the review. 


	22. Chapter 21: The Arrival of Gollum

Author's Note: Yep. Here we are finally at long-lasted with THE TWO TOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You've been waiting a long time for this. I know. Forgive me ;) Thank you all so much for your reviews! They're so sweet! I nearly cried! Oh wait.I am crying. *Grabs a handful of Legolas' tunic and wipes her eyes* so please continue reading and leaving your reviews and letting me know what you think! As always your review notes are after this story. Oh and one last thing: sorry if the characters seem a little OOC, more like a lot OOC. Missy and I have left some of our bad qualities with them :D Sorry this took so long. I'm working on some other stuff at the moment but one is something sadly you won't be able to read. It's a crossover fic with Lord of the Rings and something else but that something else is not allowed on fanfiction.net so I don't have a clue why I'm writing it. Oh yes for my own enjoyment :D and I'm working on the latest chapter of Prisoners of the House of Elrond that has only one chapter at the moment. But I am working on a brand new Lord of the Rings one so it should be up soon! After you read this go straight to Chapter 22, okay? That's why this chapter is so short. You get two chapters.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to anime_princess4. Thanks for your reviews! Hope you like this chappy!  
  
Chapter 21: The Grand Arrival of Gollum  
  
"You cannot pass!" Gandalf said firmly.  
  
"GANDALF!" Becky and Frodo howled at the same time.  
  
Becky would have taken off after Gandalf except that Aragorn, Legolas and Missy were holding her in place.  
  
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn! Go back to the Shadow!! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" Gandalf shouted, bringing down his staff in the middle of the bridge. The bridge broke and the Balrog fell.  
  
Gandalf sighed and turned around but the Balrog's whip catches onto his ankle and pulls him down. He grabbed onto the edge of the bridge but could not keep his grip.  
  
"NO! NO!" Boromir yelled, holding onto Frodo who tried to run after Gandalf.  
  
"GANDALF!!!!!" Frodo and Becky yelled. At that moment Becky leapt free of Missy and began running towards the bridge. "NO!"  
  
"Becky! NO!" Legolas shouted and grabbed the back of her shirt, holding her in place. "Stop!"  
  
Becky was struggling to go after Gandalf; she didn't care if it was completely messed up if Gandalf didn't 'fall' and he came with them to Lothlórien.  
  
"Fly, you fools!" Gandalf said and then he fell.  
  
"NO!!!! NO!!!" Frodo howled as Boromir carried him away.  
  
As Gandalf is falling downwards after the Balrog, he grabs hold of his sword Glamdring. As they continue to plunge, Gandalf repeatedly hacks away at the Balrog. Finally they end up in an enormous cavern and they fall into the water.  
  
And Frodo opened his eyes, waking from the nightmare. "Gandalf!"  
  
"What is it, Mr. Frodo?" asked Sam, putting his hand on Frodo's shoulder.  
  
"Nothing. Just a dream," Frodo replied.  
  
A while later, Frodo and Sam were climbing over rocky terrain and in the distance, the Mountain of Fire was clearly visible.  
  
"Mordor. The one place in Middle Earth we don't want to see any closer. It's the one place we are trying to get to. It's just where we can't get. Let's face it Mr. Frodo. We're lost. I don't think Gandalf meant for us to come this way," Sam said, dejectedly nibbling on a Twix.  
  
"I didn't understand what the fuzzy you just said. He didn't mean for a lot of things to happen, Sam. But they did," Frodo replied, thinking that Sam really ought to put down that Twix.  
  
Suddenly the Eye was upon him again. "I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU!! GIVE ME THAT RING!"  
  
Frodo recoiled, gasping. One hand immediately went for the Ring and the other went for his Rainbow Stick wrapper.  
  
"Frodo?" Sam asked. "It's the Ring, isn't it?"  
  
"It's getting heavier," Frodo replied. "What food have we got left? I'm totally digging a Big Mac, super-sized fries and an extra large order of chicken nuggets. With an extra-large Coke!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Sam asked, in positive shock.  
  
"Just repeating what I heard Becky say once. Don't bother," Frodo said, going back to staring moodily. He'd been going into these trances lately as he'd finished his Rainbow Stick and was much too ashamed to ask Sam if they had any more.  
  
"Well, let me see. Oh yes, lovely. Lembas bread. And look! More Lembas bread. I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff is not bad," Sam said, digging through their bags. "Ooh yes. Chocolate. And look! More chocolate! Oh lookie.a pack of Rainbow Sticks! Isn't that-"  
  
Sam was cut off in mid-sentence as Frodo tackled him and wrenched the bag of Rainbow Sticks out of his hand.  
  
"MINE! The Rainbow Sticks are mine! Becky said they were for ME! ME! ME!" Frodo chanted, now in a fetal position, the bag of Rainbow Sticks pressed to his chest.  
  
"But Mr. Frodo! Sharing is a good thing!" Sam dove at Frodo and tried to tug the bag out of his iron-tight grasp.  
  
"NO! NO! NO! It's MINE!" Frodo fought back valiantly. "It came to me!"  
  
"But Mr. Frodo I found it!" Sam said, tugging on one end of the bag as Frodo gripped and tugged the other.  
  
"So?!" Frodo shouted back. At that moment he and Sam each gave an almighty tug and the bag of Rainbow Sticks burst sending a shower of the candy all over them and down the mountainside.  
  
"Sam! Look what you did!" Frodo said, in tears. He scuttled around to grab the ones he could reach and immediately began sucking one. "How could you?!"  
  
"I'm so sorry Mr. Frodo! I'll find all right now!" Sam said and with that dropped to his knees and began scuttling all over the place, looking for missing Rainbow Sticks.  
  
Frodo sat back with a satisfied grin and popped another Rainbow Stick into his mouth. "This is the life!"  
  
"Yes Mr. Frodo oh yes," Sam replied, not really figuring out exactly what he was replying to.  
  
"Nothing ever dampens your spirit, does it Sam?" Frodo asked, feeling somewhat guilty now for trying to have all the Rainbow Sticks.  
  
"Those rain clouds might," Sam said, gazing off into the distance. "AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT SHARING!"  
  
"FIND YOUR OWN RAINBOW STICKS!" Frodo retorted, pouting.  
  
They remained silent for a few minutes but then Frodo burst into tears. "Oh Sam! I'm so sorry! It's these Rainbow Sticks! They're making me act like this! Before Becky gave them to me, I was fine."  
  
"It's alright Mr. Frodo. I understand," Sam nodded. But he knew himself he really didn't.  
  
"Do you think it's time to take out my curlers?" Frodo asked. He'd thoroughly lost track of the days and knew Becky and Missy would positively kill him if he left it in too long.  
  
Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Mr. Frodo."  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
"This looks strangely familiar," Sam said, a good time later.  
  
"That's because we've been here before!" Frodo said, frustrated. "We're going in circles!"  
  
He jumped up and down and nearly began tugging out his curlers, a tantrum reminiscent of Becky.  
  
"Calm down, Mr. Frodo! Here have a Twix," Sam handed over a candy bar and Frodo immediately calmed down.  
  
"Ah! What's that horrid stink? I'll warrant there's a nasty bog nearby. Can you smell it?" Sam asked, his nose twitching.  
  
"Yes, I can smell it," Frodo replied, a clothes clip now firmly situated on his nose. Then he turned, his eyes wide. "We're not alone!"  
  
"Really?" Sam asked. He turned around and around and waved at the rocks. "Who's there? Come out, come out wherever you are!"  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Later that night while the Hobbits appeared to be in la la Land, Gollum came stalking down the mountainside on all fours, not really being that quiet at all.  
  
"The thieves! The thieves! The filthy little thieves! Wheeere isss it? Wheeere isss it? They stole it from us. My preciousssss. Curse them! We hates them. It's ours, it is, and we wants it!" Gollum snarled.  
  
Suddenly the Hobbits sprang up, took hold of Gollum's arms and pulled him down. Gollum wriggles loose of their grasp and leapt unto Frodo. When he fell back the chain and the Ring around his neck was exposed and Gollum immediately headed straight for the Ring. Sam attempted to grab him but Gollum knocked him away. Gollum leapt onto Frodo and attempted to grab the Ring again as Frodo pushed away his hands. Sam took hold of Gollum and pulled him away from Frodo. Gollum turned and bit Sam on the shoulder, wriggled around and hooked his arms around Sam's neck and locked his legs around his waist tightly.  
  
Frodo unsheathed Sting and held it to Gollum's throat.  
  
"This is Sting. You've seen it before haven't you.GOLLUM," Frodo said. "Release him or I'll cut your throat!"  
  
Slowly Gollum released Sam and let out a loud anguished wail.  
  
"By the Valar. He sounds worse than when Becky's trying to sing!" Sam said, stuffing his hands over his ears.  
  
He unfurled his Elvish rope and tied it around Gollum's neck. He half- dragged along the wailing and crying creature.  
  
"It burns! It burns us! It freezes! Nasty Elves twisting it!" Gollum hissed, thrashing around wildly.  
  
"Be quiet!" Frodo said in a hushed voice. "Becky might hear you! She might come back and try to push you off a cliff for the nasty Elves comment!"  
  
"Quiet you! It's hopeless! Every Orc in Mordor will hear this racket! Let's tie him up and leave him!" Sam said, tugging on the rope.  
  
"No! Thats will kill us, kill us!" Gollum replied.  
  
"It's nothing more than you deserve!" Sam shot back, glaring at the creature. "Plus I think he stole one of your Rainbow Sticks, Mr. Frodo!"  
  
Frodo's heart immediately hardened at the thought that someone had gone off with at least one Rainbow Stick but he did feel just a teensy bit sorry for Gollum.  
  
"Maybe he does deserve to die. Now that I've seen him, I do pity him," Frodo admitted.  
  
"We be nice to them, if they be nice to us," Gollum begged. "Take it off us. We swears to do what you wants. We swears!"  
  
"There is no promise you can make that I can trust," Frodo said. Especially if the skulking little creature really did steal one of his Rainbow Sticks.  
  
"We swears to serve the master of the precioussss. We swears on. on the precioussss! *Gollum Gollum*" Gollum begged.  
  
"The Ring is treacherous. It will hold you to your word," Frodo said, staring down Gollum. He wondered if that little skirt thing that the creature was wearing had any pockets that could conceal his Rainbow Stick.  
  
"Yes... on the preciouss... on the preciousss," Gollum replied.  
  
"I don't believe you! Get down! Get down!" Sam shouted suddenly. He jerked at the rope hard and Gollum fell to the ground. He immediately got to his feet and began doing the chicken dance.  
  
"Sam!" Frodo cried, horrified. "He's doing the chicken dance! Make it stop!"  
  
"He is trying to trick us! If we let him go, he'll throttle us into our sleep!" Sam protested. "Stop dancing, Gollum. You look ridiculous!"  
  
"You know the way to Mordor?" Frodo asked Gollum.  
  
"Yes," Gollum nodded, getting in one last chicken hop before he stopped dancing.  
  
"You've been there before?" Frodo asked.  
  
"What do you think, silly big blue-eyed Hobbit?" came the answer.  
  
"Yes or no?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Yes," Gollum replied, exasperated.  
  
"You will lead us to the Black Gate," Frodo said, as he took off the rope from around Gollum's neck.  
  
He looked at Frodo for a second in wonder and then scrambled off, the Hobbits hurrying after him.  
  
"Stupid Hobbitses," Gollum mumbled to himself as he raced ahead of the Hobbits. "*Gollum Gollum*"  
  
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Mwahhahhahahhhahahahha! Okay, okay. It was a bit short but you did get two chapters! So here's the end of Chapter 21 go straight to Chapter 22 now. Your review notes are on the bottom of that! 


	23. Chapter 22: Urukhai Dominoes and Tumbles...

Yay! Two chapters in one update! Feel really lucky! That's because I love you guys! Awwwww. once again, sorry it they're a bit OOC. Sooooooooory! Oh and also terribly sorry for doing what Missy did to poor Legolas in this. Sorry Leggy! Ah yes.it is poor Leggy. And I've been reading far too many stories these days that have Elf abuse in them. It hurts my soul but it has characters from other things that I love so; so I must tolerate the Elf abuse. It's so sad! Oh and the hill scene may seem just a little odd.yeah.  
  
Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to Serpent of Light. Thankies for the reviews! Hope you like this chap.  
  
Chapter 22: Uruk-hai Dominoes and Tumbles off the Hill  
  
"Merry! Merry!" Pippin cried to his cousin as the Uruk-hai carrying them ran over the plains of Rohan. However his cousin did not answer as he was unconscious and currently in the middle of a dream involving a very large orange carrot and several really big mushrooms. Or it could be he was dreaming of ways to get rid of that nasty gash over his right eyebrow.  
  
One of the Uruk-hai raised its hand and the group immediately stopped behind him. About halfway down the line it caused a domino effect and within seconds half the Uruk-hai lay sprawled about on each other.  
  
"You idiots!" the Uruk-hai who had spoken before scolded, rolling his eyes. "Can't you do anything right?"  
  
"It's your fault!" someone near the back of the line said and the rest shouted their agreement.  
  
"Quit your whining!" one of the Uruk-hai who fortunately had been near the front snarled and immediately the rest of the Uruks fell silent.  
  
He turned to the one (for the sake of not confusing ourselves let's call him Random Uruk-hai number 455) who'd held up his hand. "What is it? What do you smell?"  
  
"Smelly man-flesh," Random Uruk-hai number 455 replied.  
  
"They've picked up our trail! Let's go!" (For the sake of things he will be known as Random Uruk-hai number 899) replied.  
  
"Aragorn!" Pippin muttered to himself before he caught a whiff of the smelly man-flesh they'd been smelling. He made a face. Aragorn really needed a shampoo and a bath would do wonders.  
  
It took several minutes for the Uruk-hai to get themselves back off the ground but soon they were hurrying along again. Pippin tears off the leaf brooch from his Elven cloak and drops it onto the ground. Luckily the Uruks don't notice it but several of them trampled over it, setting it more firmly into the soil.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Aragorn was lying with his eyes closed and one ear pressed to the ground.  
  
Several minutes later, Legolas appeared above him. He'd been momentarily held back because he'd had to literally pick up Becky and Missy for they had decided to put back on those ridiculously high platform shoes and was having problems walking several centimeters. But he'd abandoned them about halfway down the hill with Gimli.  
  
He had to make sure he reached back close to Aragorn because that dirty Ranger nearly beat him in the race they were doing to see who could run faster and look better doing it.  
  
Legolas was sure he was winning. He hadn't even broken a sweat yet and he was hundreds of years older than Aragorn.  
  
To once again clarify this fact, he whipped out the mirror Becky had given him and held it up. There was no sweat anyway and every perfect strand of hair was in place.  
  
The Ranger on the other hand, looked like he just crawled out from according to Becky 'a swimming pool full of mud'.  
  
Minutes later, Becky arrived panting and huffing. In one hand she held her six-inch lace-up platforms and in the other she held a bottle of mineral water. Her pink 'ORLANDO BLOOM RULES' T-Shirt was soaked through and through with sweat (this fact made her want to break down into tears and cry but she wasn't sure she had the energy) and her colorful blue jeans was now a second skin.  
  
Seconds later, Missy appeared looking like she'd just had a heart attack. Her white shirt clung to her and her jeans were stained with dirt from the numerous times she'd accidentally tumbled down the mountainside. She was also clutching her platforms and in her right hand, she held a can of one of those Evian face spray-water things and was spraying at her face madly.  
  
Gimli was at her heels panting, puffing and blowing.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Missy asked Legolas, gesturing at Aragorn.  
  
"I think he's unconscious," Gimli whispered to them.  
  
"He's been like this since I arrived," Legolas reported.  
  
"Is-is-is he alive?!" Missy asked, staring down at the seemingly motionless body of the Ranger.  
  
"Well let's not send him on a boat down Anduin and over the falls of Rauros before we're sure," Becky managed to wheeze out, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Ya know.. in case he's ALIVE or anything."  
  
After they'd heard the scream at Parth Galen they'd gone back to investigate but quickly discovered that no one was keen on the idea of going down the falls of Rauros in search of Boromir. But it didn't matter anyway because as far as Legolas could see (which was quite far), he did not see any sign of Boromir or the boat. They had all just hoped for the best that Boromir would drift up to some friendly little village and they'd give him candy and take him home to Gondor. Well.Becky and Missy hoped for that at least.  
  
"It's not my fault!" Legolas shot back. "I'm not the wild Ranger who wanders the woods and the wild. You know..the one who should know whether someone's dead or alive."  
  
"And he kissed the man, for the love of Lembas," Legolas went on, a wild look in his blue eyes. "I think Aragorn SHOULD have at least felt or heard Boromir's breathing. LIKE I SAID BEFORE: HE KISSED THE MAN!"  
  
"I've never seen you lose control before!" Missy said, eyes wide mouth agape. "Also before you go any further, he kissed Boromir's FOREHEAD. You know, in case you forgot."  
  
"I love this side of you!" Becky flung her dirty and sweaty self at Legolas in a hug.  
  
"I think he's getting far too hyper on the chocolate," Missy said. She walked up to Legolas and slapped him on the head. "There that should work. Legolas do you feel better?"  
  
Legolas blinked and shook his head, trying to get rid of the dancing arrows. "Yes, yes. I feel quite better actually. Thank you Missy!"  
  
"He still hasn't MOVED," Gimli said, anxiously. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"Aragorn? Aragorn? Aragorn?" Becky called. Absolutely no movement from the Ranger.  
  
"Just a minute," Legolas said. He lifted his boot and prodded Aragorn in the middle of the back. Still no movement.  
  
Legolas caught sight of the bottle of expensive mineral water in Becky's hand and Missy's Evian face sprayer and he got an idea. He quickly grabbed the two from the girls before they had any time to protest.  
  
"What're you doing?" Becky asked, grabbing for her mineral water. "That's expensive stuff, Elfykerns."  
  
"And that's my Evian spray thingie," Missy piped up, also leaping for her Evian. Legolas held the items high over his head and the cousins had no hope of grabbing it unless they strapped back on their platforms which they did NOT want to do.  
  
"This may be our only hope," Legolas said, uncapping the mineral water and Evian face spray-thingie. He held the bottle of water high over his head and he passed the Evian can to Gimli.  
  
"On the count of three," Legolas said. "I want you two to scream as loud as you can. Gimli, you know what to do. Okay?"  
  
"Okay," Becky shrugged. She liked screaming anyhow. It was really interesting. Especially when she got her Nazgûl imitation right.  
  
"One, two," Legolas whispered. "THREE!" The last one was shouted.  
  
Becky and Missy both screamed hysterically and at the top of their lungs. Becky (for once) finally got her Nazgûl imitation correctly and it rang out across the plains of Rohan. At the same time Legolas tilted the bottle and poured it over Aragorn's head. Simultaneously Gimli loosed the Evian spray and Aragorn was doused with a fine mist of the stuff.  
  
The poor Ranger immediately woke and sat up, spluttering. "What in the Middle-Earth?" His ears ached from Becky and Missy's screaming and he immediately stuck his fingers in them.  
  
"Stop! Stop! PLEASE!" Aragorn said, holding up his hands in defeat. "I'm awake! Gimli, stop spraying me!"  
  
Becky and Missy stopped screaming and started giggling. They flung themselves at Aragorn and hugged him.  
  
"We're so glad you're alive, Estel," Legolas said, a smile threatening as he quickly hid Becky's now empty bottle of mineral water.  
  
"Well there's no river and a waterfall to send me down now, is there?" Aragorn replied dryly, wait no more like wetly.  
  
"What happened?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Well I was winning the race--I mean, I was ahead of you--since Legolas had to carry Becky and Missy," Aragorn said and the cousins received a glare from Legolas. "And I was racing up this hill and then all of a sudden, I thought I saw this chocolate bar run across my path. I dove for it but tripped over a rock and fell stomach-first. I was going to get up except for the fact, that my entire body was aching (and still is) and I couldn't quite move. So I waited for someone to come and help me but I probably fell asleep and couldn't wake up."  
  
"PROBABLY FELL ASLEEP?" Legolas echoed, eyebrow lifted.  
  
Aragorn chose to ignore that little sarcastic outburst from his friend. "Anyway, while I was down there, I was listening for footsteps."  
  
"You hear footsteps from a rock?" Missy said, incredulously. She turned to Becky and they both started laughing hysterically.  
  
Aragorn also chose to ignore that. "ANYWAY. Their pace quickens, they must have caught our scent. READY SET GO!"  
  
Aragorn took off running immediately even before the words 'GO' had left his mouth.  
  
"I'm going to win again, you nancing Elf!" Aragorn hollered over his shoulder as he bolted away.  
  
"Not if I win, you smelly Ranger!" Legolas shouted, immediately bolting after Aragorn.  
  
"I think they've been reading too many of those fan fictions that you carry around," Missy said to Becky who shrugged.  
  
"Come on Gimli, Becky, Missy," Legolas called over his shoulder as he kept on running swiftly.  
  
"Three days and nights' pursuit.. no food.... no rest.... and no sign of our quarry but what bare rock can tell," Gimli panted, hurrying off after Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"Did you just understand what he said?" Missy asked Becky.  
  
"DOES ANYONE?"  
  
"Good point," Missy said and with that the two cousins took off running after them. They easily overtook Gimli as their legs were longer than his and they were taller but they could not even dream to catch Legolas or Aragorn.  
  
For a good while, they raced over lots of rocks and plains and lots of grassy things and hills and stuff like that. Sometimes Aragorn was in the lead, with Legolas and Gimli behind. Then Legolas had fought his way to the front, and then Aragorn again, then Legolas, then Aragorn.......  
  
Till Aragorn stopped suddenly and bent down to pick something off the ground.  
  
In Legolas' haste to win the race, he darted right past Aragorn who had obviously stopped and was a good way away before he realized that everyone else had stopped. Grumbling in Elvish, he hurried back to them.  
  
Aragorn held up an leaf-shaped Elven brooch in one hand.  
  
"Not idly do the leaves of Lórien fall," Aragorn commented.  
  
"Ooh. Love that voice!" Missy giggled.  
  
"They may yet be alive," Legolas noted.  
  
"Less than a day ahead of us, come!" Aragorn called and once again took off running like a madman.  
  
"YOU REALLY DIRTY CHEAT! And I mean that literally and figuratively!" Legolas yelled after him. "Come Gimli, Becky, Missy! We are gaining on them." Legolas also took off, legs pumping madly.  
  
"I wish that on cross-country we dwarves were natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances," Gimli said, beginning to run again.  
  
"Join the club," Becky rolled her eyes and began jogging after them again. "This whole running thing is really getting boring!"  
  
A good while later, they came over a hill and finally paused.  
  
"Thank goodness!" Becky said, coming up behind them. "I thought you were never gonna stop!" Her eyes half-closed and she slumped to the ground dramatically.  
  
"Someone pick her up," Legolas said, waving his hand unconcernedly at Becky. He turned back around and received a glare from Aragorn. "What? What?"  
  
With a pout, he turned around and scooped Becky off the ground. He handed her over to her cousin who looked ready to faint too.  
  
"Rohan, home of the horse-lords. There's something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures. Sets its will against us," Aragorn said, gazing down across the plains. "Legolas! What do your Elf eyes see?"  
  
For Legolas had run down the hill a little further and was staring into the distance. Fortunately Missy had sprayed her cousin with her Evian sprayer and Becky had awoken to see Legolas do that. She giggled and screamed happily.  
  
"The Uruks turn Northeast. They are taking the Hobbits to Isengard," Legolas called, still peering into the distance.  
  
"And I can't see what the heck he's talking about," Becky said, pouting. She leaned forward and stared harder into the distance. "Nope. Noth- aaaaahhhhhhh!"  
  
Becky had leaned forward just a little too much and she was wobbling precariously over the edge. She reached over and grabbed onto Missy's shirt but Missy had just been about to take a sip of water and she was caught off guard so now both cousins were wobbling precariously so Missy reached out to grab something to hold onto.  
  
That something turned out to be a large clump of Aragorn's dirty hair. Missy gave it a mighty pull so both she and Becky could remain upright but the tired Ranger swayed and came towards them. By now Becky could hold on no longer and she tumbled down the hill, Missy and Aragorn right behind her, rolling right into Legolas, causing the poor Elf to come crashing down with the three of them. They rolled down the hill for a few minutes until they tumbled into a large rock and finally stopped.  
  
A few seconds later, Gimli arrived at the top of the hill and he stood gazing down at the four of them, lying in a heap halfway down the hill.  
  
The Dwarf paused for a moment to catch his breath and then burst into hysterical laughter.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Four cross voices yelled up the hill at him. This only caused Gimli to chuckle ever harder.  
  
"You look so funny!" Gimli said, still laughing heartily. "What happened?"  
  
For the moment, poor Gimli was ignored as the quartet obviously had some issues of their own.  
  
"Aragorn, your foot is in my face!" that was Legolas.  
  
"Yeah well Legolas, your knee is in my stomach!" Aragorn shot back.  
  
"Missy! You're sitting on my hand!" Becky shrieked.  
  
"And your foot is on my foot!" Missy said.  
  
"And the two of you are on my back!" Aragorn cut in.  
  
"And you are on my legs with them on your back!" that was Legolas' hysterical retort.  
  
Gimli began making his way, down the hill still chuckling at the quartet who were now yelling about who was heavier and whose foot was on whose and who was smelling the worst. He was laughing so hard, tears were coming to his eyes and he couldn't see where he was going and he tripped over his own feet.  
  
He ended up rolling halfway down the hill, stopping when he crashed into Becky, Missy, Aragorn and Legolas. Becky and Missy were now climbing off Aragorn's back, Aragorn had crawled off of Legolas' legs (hehe) and Legolas had been getting to his feet.  
  
Now this was clearly impossible now because poor Legolas once again ended up at the very bottom of the heap, on his stomach. Aragorn was sprawled on his back, on Legolas' back. Missy was sprawled horizontally across poor Aragorn's stomach, one of her feet in his face. Becky was sprawled horizontally across Missy's stomach and her feet were in Legolas' face. On top of both Becky and Missy lay Gimli.  
  
The three Humans and Elf glared at the Dwarf.  
  
"Well, hehehe. Nasty little spot we've found ourselves in," was all Gimli could say with a wide smile.  
  
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There ends Chapter 22 everyone! Please read and review! Tell me what you liked and what you didn't like in this chapter and in the previous Chapter 21:D ALSO, I have a poll for you guys. I'm starting from now. Should Haldir die or shouldn't he? Please tell me in your review. Thanks everybody for reading and reviewing! Also I wanna see 60 reviews before I update again. Hmm.Hint hint hint!  
  
Here are your review notes:  
  
Serpent of Light- The sequel has arrived! Dun-da-dun! I liked the parties too. I find they were cool. ;) ;) You dig this fic?! Awwww.. *hug* thanks for the reviews!!!!  
  
Anime_princess4-Here ya go! Thanks for the review  
  
Celtic Dawn Star-You are much forgiven! YOU MUST GO SEE IT! Here's the update! Thankies for the review! I'll go and read your story as soon as I have the time, kay?  
  
Crimson Starlight-Thankies for the review!!! Hilarious! Aww..Here's the Two Towers. Hope ya enjoy  
  
Cotume1-Yeah.I haven't seen POTC. It's not premiering here till August 6th! TOMORROW!! YAY WOO-HOO! Ooh.Leggy in a tux. *Drool* here's TTT edition and thanks for the review!!!! 


	24. Chapter 23: Scuffles, Issues, Food and M...

A\N: Becky Greenleaf here. Sorry about the delay but childishly I asked for the reviews to reach to a nice 60 before I updated again. But I'm glad to see people are reading my story and enjoying it. It gives me great joy to know that I can make someone laugh. Also I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean three times and I can't wait for the DVD! Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom rule!! Woo-hoo! Can't wait for Spec. Ed of TTT! Can't wait for ROTK! I have seen the trailer about twenty times because we have it on tape. I can't wait for the movie. I cried when I saw the trailer. But sadly, the movie does not premiere by me till Christmas Day (December 25th)! Oh well.anyway on with the chapter.  
  
Dundadadadadadadadaddun.this chapter is dedicated to all my dear girls (and possibly boys) at The Borders of Middle-Earth! This chapter is for you, my Leggy and Aragorn and other ME obsessed people! GO BOME!  
  
BTW, if you wanna join my Yahoo! Club just send me an email and I'll send you an invite. Or just mention it in your review!  
  
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot (if there is any in this wacky story) and myself. Missy owns herself. Everyone else belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. KFC belongs to Colonel Sanders or whoever it was that founded KFC. I DO NOT OWN!  
  
Chapter 23: Scuffles, Issues, Food and More Madness  
  
Saruman stood in his chamber in the tower of Orthanc, in the caverns of Isengard. He was communicating with the Sauron through the Palantír.  
  
"The world is changing. Who now has the strength to stand against the armies of Isengard and Mordor? To stand against the might of Sauron and Saruman and the union of the Two Towers? Together, Lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-Earth."  
  
"EXCUSE ME but who told you that *we* would be ruling this Middle-Earth, hmm?" the voice of Sauron shouted out of the Palantír. "Eh Saruman, of many colors?"  
  
"Yes, my lord. Sorry my lord. So sorry my lord. I did not mean to my lord!" Saruman said, trembling immediately and turning whiter if possible. "I never meant to my lord!"  
  
"Quit your mumbling, you fool!" Sauron shouted and Saruman went silent as the grave.  
  
The caverns of Isengard glowed with the fire of industry, the sound of hammering was heard and molten iron was being poured into casts.  
  
"The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new order will rise. We will drive the machinery of war with the sword and the spear and the iron fist of the Orc. We have only to remove those who oppose us," Saruman said.  
  
Saruman stood in the midst of a gathering of Wildmen who were becoming extremely rowdy. They were carrying torches and weapons.  
  
"The horsemen have taken your lands. They drove your people into the hills to scratch a living of rocks," Saruman said, riling the crowd more.  
  
"MURDERERS!" the crowd screamed, sounding very much like a bunch of fangirls screaming for Orlando Bloom.  
  
"Take back the lands they stole from you. Burn every village!" Saruman chanted, waving his staff wildly and braining a couple of Wildmen over the head.  
  
"It will begin in Rohan. Too long have these peasants stood against you. But no more," Saruman declared.  
  
The Wildmen took off, whooping and cheering and waving their weapons in the air as Saruman walked amongst them, rolling his eyes at their stupidity.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
At a Random Village somewhere in Rohan*:  
  
The Wildmen and Orcs were attacking a village. People were running and screaming everywhere. In the midst of it all, a woman dashed towards a horse and called out for her children.  
  
"Eothain, take your sister. You'll go faster with just two," the mother instructed.  
  
"But Papa says Eothain must not ride Gerolt. He's too big for him!" the daughter, Freda protested. "Besides, I don't like horses!"  
  
"Listen to me!" the mother said, exasperation evident. "You must ride to Edoras and raise the alarm. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes mum," Eothain replied.  
  
"I don't wanna leave! I don't wanna go!" Freda protested. "Hate riding horses! Hate them!"  
  
Gerolt, the horse, gave a neigh of protest and shook himself all over. Freda gave a slight scream as she nearly fell off the horse. Luckily Eothain grabbed her in time.  
  
"Listen to me. I will find you there," the mother said as the screams became louder.  
  
"Quickly!" she shouted after Gerolt as the horse took off with Freda and Eothain on its back. "Go child."  
  
Freda looks over her shoulder and weeps as the Orcs and Wildmen set fire to the village and murdered everyone in sight.  
  
"But I hate horses!" came the last mumbled protest.  
  
"Rohan, my lord, is ready to fall," Saruman said.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
EDORAS  
  
A group of horsemen ride to Edoras. Éomer is in the lead, carrying a wounded Théodred in front of him.  
  
Éowyn runs hastily up the stairs to the Golden Hall, nearly tripping four times over her long white gown and burst into a bedchamber. She runs to the bed where Théodred lay. At his side, knelt Éomer.  
  
"Théodred!" Éowyn shrieked, hands fluttering to her mouth.  
  
Théodred winced and tried to move his hands to cover his ears, but to no avail.  
  
"He may not be able to quite move but he's not deaf, Éowyn," Éomer scolded. "Sheesh."  
  
Théodred managed to nod in agreement. He had a bloody gash on the side of his head. Éomer nodded to Éowyn in the direction of Théodred's torso. Éowyn drew back the bedcovers. She saw Théodred's fatal wound and with a loud, girlish shriek she fainted onto the floor.  
  
"Yay," Théodred managed to mutter.  
  
"I daresay I agree with you there fully," Éomer replied, gazing down at his unconscious sister.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
A while later, when Éowyn had picked herself up off the floor with a vibrant blush in her cheeks, she and her brother went to see King Théoden who looked like he had seriously seen better days.  
  
"Your son is badly wounded, my lord," Éowyn said, her hand on his.  
  
"He was ambushed by Orcs!" Éomer interrupted loudly.  
  
"Well there goes the calm, subtle approach," Éowyn muttered under her breath.  
  
"What was that, Fainting Daffodil?" Éomer retorted.  
  
"Nothing," Éowyn said and immediately fell silent.  
  
"If we don't defend our country, Saruman will take it by force!" Éomer went on, a little less loudly than before.  
  
"That is a lie!" Gríma said, emerging from whatever dark corner he'd been skulking in. "Saruman the White has ever been our friend and ally."  
  
"Not all of us here are stupid, you know," Éomer said. "You can talk a little faster."  
  
"Gríma... Gríma," Théoden murmured. Gríma immediately bent towards him. Éomer shot him a glare and Gríma stuck out his black, forked tongue at him and hissed. Éomer jumped like a wet cat.  
  
Éowyn knocked Éomer on the back of his head with her fist and he immediately straightened up.  
  
"Orcs are roaming freely across our lands. Unchecked, unchallenged, killing at will. Orcs bearing the white hand of Saruman," Éomer said, taking revenge and kicking his sister in the foot. Unfortunately for Éowyn, he was still wearing his heavy boots. Gríma aimed a deadly glare at him but Éomer stuck his tongue out now.  
  
As Éowyn hopped about the room on one foot Éomer dropped a helmet onto the ground, which rolled over to reveal the marking of the White Hand of Saruman.  
  
"Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind? Can you not see? Your uncle is weary of your.... malcontent, your warmongering," Gríma said with another glare at Éomer, as Éowyn took another hop around the room on her good foot.  
  
"Warmongering?!" Éomer shouted, positively incensed. "I'll show you warmongering!" He pulled out his sword and jabbed it at Gríma who took off, running around the room. Éomer immediately gave chase.  
  
"How long has it been since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Gríma? When all the men are dead you would take a share of the treasure?" Éomer grabbed Gríma by his filthy, black hair and shoved him against a column.  
  
Gríma's eyes fell on Éowyn who had accidentally kicked a column with her good foot and was rolling on the ground, her arms wrapped around her two legs.  
  
"Too long have you watched my sister, too long have you haunted her steps," Éomer said, taking the opportunity to knock Gríma on the head with the hilt of his sword. "Stay away from her, you hear me, Wormtongue! That's my little sister, Mom said I HAD to take care of her, and so I will!"  
  
"You see much, Éomer son of Éomund. Too much," Gríma said, a bit woozily. Some associates of Gríma came up behind Eomer and pulled him away from Gríma. "You are banished forthwith from the kingdom of Rohan, under pain of death."  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs were still marching across the Plains of Rohan, Merry and Pippin still captive. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Missy and Becky were still in hot pursuit; all suffering from their wounds they had received on their plunges down the hill.  
  
"Keep breathing, that's the key! Breathe! Ho!" Gimli said, struggling to breathe as he hurried along.  
  
"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them," Legolas noticed, running along easily though with a limp and with his back even straighter than usual.  
  
"Aah!" Becky moaned. "Don't talk about pain! Pain is evil and wicked and it HURTS!" Her hand was in a makeshift cast and she kept clutching her stomach.  
  
"Moo!" Missy mooed her agreement. She had a band around her ankle and was nearly doubled over in pain, because of her stomach.  
  
"Will you stop complaining?" Aragorn retorted. He was now in the lead. However everyone noticed the Ranger was running with one hand on his back and one on his stomach.  
  
"Estel, you look as if you were with child!" Legolas couldn't help but point out.  
  
"WHAT?!" Aragorn immediately froze, turned and glared at his Elven Companion. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"  
  
"He said you looked like you were pregnant," Becky said, helpfully. "There's a teacher in my school who walks just like that and she's eight and a half months pregnant. Teeheeehehehehehe."  
  
Gimli, Becky, Missy and Legolas all snickered.  
  
"You have put on a bit of size," Legolas noted, an evil grin on his lips. "Have you informed Arwen?"  
  
"You're dead, you nancing skinny-as-a-macaroni Elf!" Aragorn dove at Legolas. He tackled him around the neck and wrestled him to the ground.  
  
"AAH! You're messing up my hair!" Legolas screamed. "I'll strangle you!"  
  
"My darling's hair!" Well you all know who said that.  
  
"Hey! Ouch! My hair may be greasy but at least it's real!" I suppose you know the answer to that as well.  
  
"Not my Aragorn!" That was rather predictable. "Get away from him, Becky!"  
  
"Fangirls and the objects of their obsessions," sighed a Dwarf.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
It was nightfall and the Uruk-hai and the Orcs halted, panting. Several keeled over, never to be heard from again.  
  
"We ain't goin' no further till we've 'ad a breather," Random Orc number 489 complained.  
  
"Get a fire going!" Random Uruk-hai number 455 (A\N: remember him from Chapter 22?) snarled.  
  
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs immediately began hacking away at the trees with their axes.  
  
"Merry! Merry!" Pippin called, attempting to kick his cousin. "Merry! Merry!"  
  
There was absolutely no response from his older cousin.  
  
"FOR THE LOVE OF MUSHROOMS, MERRY!" Pippin shouted. Merry immediately leapt awake.  
  
"Where mushrooms where?" Merry said.  
  
"Well, it's about time! Have you any idea how long I've been awake?" Pippin declared.  
  
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry noted.  
  
"You can say that again," Pippin pouted.  
  
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry echoed again.  
  
Pippin sighed. "I didn't mean literally. Good-"  
  
A loud rumbling like that of many drums filled the air.  
  
"What's making that noise?" Pippin asked, leaping in fright.  
  
"It's the trees!" Merry noted with wonder.  
  
"What?" Pippin asked, eyes wide.  
  
"Weren't you listening, stupid? I said the bloody trees!" Merry said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Pippin gazed at him with big, sad eyes and he burst into tears. (At this time, the Pippin fangirls pick up pieces of sticks and wave them menacingly at the computer screen.) All right, all right, the author is repenting.  
  
"Oh Pippin! Don't cry!" Merry said, attempting to pat his cousin on the head but finding that his hands were bound, he gave up. "Stop crying before Becky finds me!"  
  
Pippin stopped crying but he remained pouting. "Go on."  
  
"You remember the Old Forest? On the borders of Buckland? Folk used to say that there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall, and come alive!" Merry opted for the dramatic approach, widening his eyes and making his face look eerily mysterious.  
  
"Cut the melodrama, Merry. The only ones who drool are the fangirls and clearly there aren't many around here," Pippin said, indicating the ugly Uruk-hai and the Orcs. "Unless they're disguised as trees!"  
  
Merry just sighed and cleared his throat.  
  
"Anyway. Alive?" Pippin said, looking astonished.  
  
"Trees that could whisper, talk to each other, even move!" Merry finished in a low whisper.  
  
"Living Trees?!" Pippin asked, eyes wide.  
  
"Trees were always living, stupid. Duh!" Merry rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'm starving. We ain't 'ad nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!" Random Uruk-hai 642 shouted, tossing the bread.  
  
"Yeah! Why can't we have some meat?" Random Orc 866 said, gazing at the Hobbits and seeing a 20-piece box of KFC laid out before him. "What about them? They're fresh!"  
  
"They are not for eating!" Random Uruk-hai 899 snarled.  
  
"What about their legs? They don't need those. Ooh! They look tasty!" Random Orc 546 said, thinking to himself that they looked like Crispy KFC chicken.  
  
"Get back!" Random Uruk-hai 899 hissed.  
  
"Just a mouthful?" Random Orc 866 said, leaning forward with his sword.  
  
Random Uruk-hai 899's sword came down so fast, no one saw anything. It hacked off Random Orc 866's head.  
  
"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!" Random Uruk-hai 899 said. The Uruk-hai and the Orcs cheered and dug into Random Orc 866's body.  
  
"I do suppose I taste like KFC," Random Orc 866's GHOST thought as he floated away.  
  
"That was FREAKY!" Pippin said, shivering.  
  
"Come on. Pippin, let's go!" Merry said. The Hobbits began crawling away though their hands were bound. They had gotten a bit far from the melee when...............a foot came down on Merry and pinned him to the ground.  
  
"Go on! Call for help. Squeal! No one's gonna save you now!" Random Orc 546 hissed at them.  
  
Suddenly a spear arched through the air and pierced his back. He tipped over as the Rohirrim began their attack on the Uruk-hai and Orcs.  
  
The Hobbits tried to escape from the pandemonium to the forest. Suddenly Pippin trips and rolls over onto his back, his stomach exposed.  
  
Above him, a horse reared back, his hooves flailing.  
  
"I can't see a thing! Those evil Rohirrim riders making me work overtime with the sleep thick in my eyes!"  
  
"AHH!" Pippin shrieked loudly. He was trying vainly to catch the horse's (if not the rider's) attention.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So there ends Chapter 23. I love, love, love your review so please leave them ;) Thank you to everyone who left reviews for this and Prisoners. Love you guys! *hugs* Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Here's your review notes!  
  
Serpent of Light: Thanks sooooo much for the review! I hope you adored this chapter!  
  
Elróthiel: Hi! Thanks so much for the really long, sweet review! In Japan huh? How cool! I've heard of Gundam Wing but I'm not really into that kind of stuff. A Matrix version of this story would be cool, but I've really only seen the first Matrix years and years ago and I haven't seen Reloaded yet. Don't really want to. At lease Elrondie comes back! Woo-hoo! BTW, thankies for joining BOME!  
  
Guess-Hi there dearest! How are you? Thanks for the reviews! I feel so loved! I know, you're angry. Oh well.  
  
Queen of Mirkwood-Heya! Thanks for the review! Yeah we love chocolate! Thankies, my story is hilarious! BTW, Legolas belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien sweetie! 


	25. Chapter 24: Photo Ops, Helmet Hair, Jeal...

A\N: Miss Becky Greenleaf is baaaaaaaacccccckkkkk! Mwahahhahahahahaa.you cannot escape me dearests! Okie-dokie, enough with the absolute insaneness. How has everyone been? I'm back again updating. Sorry, I've been away for so long! Exams and all that trivial school stuff ;) Your notes are the bottom.  
  
Also terribly terribly sorry about portraying Aragorn a bit violent.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings and all that is associated with it. The only thing I own is this story and myself. Missy owns herself.  
  
Chapter 24: Photo Ops, Helmet Hair, Jealous Stars and Straying Fangirls  
  
Dawn had broken upon the plains of Rohan. The Three Hunters and the Two Annoyances raced on, in hot pursuit of the Uruk-hai.  
  
"Aragorn?! Aragorn? Aragorn? Aragorn? Aragorn?" Becky said, knowing that it would seriously get to Aragorn. "Can we stop, please? I'm sleepy!"  
  
"We are on their trail, we must continue!" Aragorn replied, through clenched teeth. He had been seriously contemplating knocking her out with the hilt of his sword and throwing her into the nearest stream.  
  
"But I'm tired and hungry and sleepy," Becky went on. She stopped dead in her tracks. "I'M NOT MOVING ANOTHER INCH AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"  
  
"Oh yes I can!" Aragorn said, poking Becky in the shoulder. "We have to keep going."  
  
"DIDN'T I JUST SAY I WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE?!!!" Becky said, hands on hips, eyes narrowed. "Nyah nyah nyah. You can't make me!"  
  
"Come on, Becky," Missy said, finally piping in. "Let's keep going. Only a little further."  
  
"Yes, listen to your cousin Missy," Aragorn said, gesturing with a smile to Missy who beamed. Becky glared at her cousin.  
  
"You Aragorn suck-up!" Becky said, folding her arms now.  
  
"Legolas suck-up!" Missy retorted.  
  
"Will the two of you BE QUIET?" Aragorn said. "Now we're hot on the trail. We must keep running. Only a bit further."  
  
"Why can't we WALK?" Becky suggested.  
  
Aragorn screamed in despair and dove at Becky, the hilt of his sword aimed at her head, and visions of streams dancing in HIS head.  
  
"A red dawn rises. Blood has been spilt this night," Legolas interjected, neatly stealing Aragorn's sword as he sprinted by.  
  
"Oooh! Lovely yummy hot hot Elf!" Becky said, immediately taking off after Legolas.  
  
"Why didn't I think of that?" Aragorn said, scratching his greasy black mop. "HEY! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SWORD!"  
  
A good way across the plains, Becky had somehow managed to tackle Legolas and was now smothering him with hugs and kisses. (The poor Elf said something about ten rocks suddenly taking flight over his head and appearing directly in his path.)  
  
"OFF! GET HER OFF ME!" Legolas said, trying to disentangle the brown haired bundle that was clinging to him. He had managed to get to his feet, however. "Ew! Don't kiss me! Fangirl germs."  
  
Aragorn grabbed Becky by the scruff of her Orlando Bloom t-shirt and attempted to pull her off Legolas. Instead she hooked her pink flowered false nails deeper into his tunic.  
  
"Ouch! Hey, watch the clothes!" Legolas said as he attempted to pull off Becky's hands.  
  
"Missy will you help me?" Aragorn asked, gesturing to Missy. Missy took hold of another piece of Becky's shirt and pulled.  
  
Suddenly the sounds of horses were heard and a loud, piercing whistle. Aragorn quickly ushered them behind some large, strategically placed boulders.  
  
A large group of men on beautiful horses, appeared. Their banners were flying proudly in the breeze. As soon as they had passed, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Becky and Missy came out from hiding.  
  
"Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?" Aragorn called out.  
  
"And he is supposed to be the future King? He's gonna get all of you'll killed by just yelling to the possible enemy 'hey, do you guys want some cookies?'" Becky put in.  
  
"WHAT?" Legolas turned to Becky, eyebrows lifted. "Did anyone understand what she just said?"  
  
"Does anyone?" Aragorn replied, exasperatedly.  
  
They turned their attention back to the riders, who from a signal from Éomer who was at the lead, they made a turn and headed towards the Three Hunters and the Two Annoyances and they surrounded them. The Riders closed in on them surrounding them in a tight circle. They pointed their long spears menacingly at them.  
  
The Three Hunters stood back to back and Aragorn pushed Becky and Missy behind him and Legolas. The girls in turn clung to them.  
  
"What business does an Elf, a man, a Dwarf and two strangely attired little girls have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!" Éomer said.  
  
"That's MY BUSINESS!" Missy shot back, clinging ever tighter to Aragorn. "And that's an insult. I DO NOT dress strangely."  
  
"Give me your name, horsemaster, and I shall give you mine," Gimli cut in.  
  
Éomer dismounted his horse and came towards the circle, eyes narrowing. "I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."  
  
Legolas immediately strung his bow and pointed it at Éomer. "You would die before your stroke fell!"  
  
"YAY!" Becky and Missy burst into applause.  
  
The Riders of Rohan pushed their pointy spears even closer to the group but that didn't deter Becky and Missy.  
  
"Thank you, thank you!" Legolas cried, shifting his bow so Missy and Becky could lean on both his shoulders. Becky whipped out her camera and all three grinned wide smiles as she clicked away.  
  
"I SWEAR!" Aragorn hissed underneath his breath. He pushed down Legolas' arm and pulled Becky and Missy away from him. He also confiscated the camera. "The three of you DON'T MOVE, DON'T SPEAK, DON'T EVEN BREATHE."  
  
"But if we don't breathe..." Becky trailed off, eyes wide.  
  
"ALL THREE OF US?!!" Legolas spluttered.  
  
"Does no speaking and breathing mean no laughing?" Missy asked.  
  
"I'm Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas, star of the Herbal Essences commercial.*(At this point, Legolas holds out his arms and Becky and Missy come scampering towards him for another photo op, this time using Missy's camera.)* Those two short, funny-dressed creatures are our fangirls, Becky and Missy from a distant land. We are friends of Rohan and of Théoden, your King," Aragorn introduced, nodding in turn.  
  
He sighed in exasperation when he saw that Gimli had also joined the little fangirl group behind him and now all four of them were fighting to be in front of the camera.  
  
"Ai Elbereth!" Aragorn snatched the camera away and gave iceberg-melting glares to all four of them.  
  
"Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe," Éomer said. He removed his helmet. "Not even his own kin."  
  
The Rohirrim withdrew their spears.  
  
"Ooh! You have helmet hair, honey!" Becky dove at him, comb and brush in hand. She grabbed a thick handful of his blond hair and pulled him into a kneeling position. She beckoned to Missy who came with the hairspray, hairnet and curlers.  
  
"Um, hello," was all Éomer could say as Becky attempted a zigzag part down the middle of his head.  
  
"You know. He IS kinda cute," Missy pointed out, brushing out the ends of Éomer's hair.  
  
"You know, I think you're right, cuzzy. He IS kinda cute," Becky said. "But these facial wipes will make him CUTE, not KINDA cute."  
  
Becky whipped out her pack of facial wipes and began scrubbing Éomer's nose with a bright pink one.  
  
"See? Perfect!!!" Missy said as she looped Éomer's hair back to the way it was and applying a heavy dosage of hair spray. She entrusted to him a brand- new bottle of hairspray. "See? You'll never have to worry about helmet hair ever again?"  
  
"Thank you," Éomer nodded at the two cousins. And then...GASP...he SMILED.  
  
Becky's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. She stared at Éomer with a new look in her eyes.  
  
"Oh no! I know that look!" Missy said, hands fluttering to her mouth in shock. "She's found a new obsession." (AUTHOR'S NOTE TO READERS: I have liked Karl Urban/Éomer since I saw TTT but mewahhahhahha, I can't love him like I love my Leggy.)  
  
"HUH?" Legolas, Aragorn and Éomer echoed.  
  
At that exact moment, Becky flung herself at Éomer and peppered him with bright, pink glossy kisses. "Ooh! So huggable!"  
  
"My, my, my. Aren't you a handsome boy?" Becky pinched his cheeks and giggled.  
  
Suddenly Missy appeared and hugged Éomer. All this time, the poor man was still stuck in a very uncomfortable kneeling position.  
  
"HELP? Somebody, anybody? Anyone at all?" Éomer said, attempting to get to his feet but finding out the hard way that he couldn't move because of the two fangirls latched on to him.  
  
Becky pulled out her extra camera. "Smile, Éomer honey!"  
  
Becky, Missy and Éomer grinned from ear-to-ear and gazed into the camera with the air of supermodels.  
  
"What did the two of you call yourselves? Fangirls?" Éomer asked, still grinning.  
  
"Yep. We are your only fangirls currently present. The rest are stuck back on Earth," Missy explained.  
  
"Ooh. I have Earth fangirls," Éomer said. He took the camera from Becky and used it to snap a picture of the Rohirrim who immediately began jostling for a good position in front of the camera.  
  
"Ooh! We have to give him chocolate!" Becky said and began emptying her pockets. Soon Éomer was loaded up with bags of Hershey's Kisses and Milky Way bars.  
  
Missy began distributing among the riders.  
  
"AHEM!" Legolas and Aragorn ahemmed. They stood off to the side, arms folded and eyes glaring. They hadn't tasted candy for a good while now and they were very angry.  
  
"Those fangirls ARE OURS," Legolas declared. He came round to Éomer's side and detached Becky. "This one is mine. The other belongs to Aragorn."  
  
At this Aragorn came, plucked Missy off, tossed her over his shoulder and went to stand at Legolas' side. "They're ours and you can't have them. Nyah, nyah, nyah."  
  
"Me wantsie huggie Éomer suggie," Becky pouted, reaching for Éomer but Legolas had now tossed her over his shoulder.  
  
Éomer contemplated fighting back from his fangirls but the glare he received from Legolas made him change his mind.  
  
"Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over this land. My company are those loyal to Rohan. And for that, we are banished. The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there they say, as an old man, hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past our nets," Éomer aimed a glare of his own at Legolas who glared right back.  
  
"We are not spies. We track a band of Uruk-Hai westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends captive," Aragorn replied, rather snappily. He swatted away Becky and Missy who were attempting to stretch towards Éomer.  
  
"The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night," Éomer replied.  
  
"But there were two Hobbits, did you see two Hobbits with them?" Gimli cut in, sounding desperate.  
  
"They would be small, only children to your eyes," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Like those children?" Éomer asked, inching back towards his fangirls.  
  
"Ha! OUR fangirls, not yours!" Legolas plucked out an arrow and jabbed it menacingly at Éomer. "Go buy your own."  
  
"We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them," he pointed into the distance, where a pile of dead Uruk-hai lay, still smoking.  
  
"Dead?!" was all poor Gimli could say. Legolas patted him comfortingly on the back.  
  
"My baby needs love!" Becky said. She flung her arms around Legolas' neck and covered him with kisses. "Yes, you are Good Elfypoo, yes you are, yes you are!"  
  
Legolas stuck his tongue out at Éomer over Becky's shoulder and he glared back.  
  
"Well? Condolences would be nice," Aragorn said, drumming his fingers on his sword.  
  
"FINE. I am sorry," Éomer said. "Are we happy now, Dirty Aragorn, son of even dirtier Arathorn?"  
  
"Don't you be talking bout my Daddy!" Aragorn pulled out his sword and waved the hilt menacingly.  
  
"Ooh, my Aragorn is so brave!" Missy flung herself into his arms. Aragorn made a triumphant face at Éomer.  
  
"Hasufel! Arod!" Éomer called and two rider less horses came forward.  
  
"Pretty horses!" Becky noted.  
  
"May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell. Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands," Éomer hopped onto his horse. "Farewell, MY beloved fangirls. I hope that I shall see you soon!"  
  
He turned to the Rohirrim. "We ride north!"  
  
"Bye, Éomer hon! We love ya!" Becky called and waved goodbye to him.  
  
Then she noticed the horse nuzzling up against Legolas.  
  
"HEY! THAT'S MY ELF! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HUGGING HIM NOT YOU!" Becky pushed away the horse, who came nuzzling back.  
  
Legolas had to separate Becky and the horse quickly before poor Becky suffered serious damage from a very lethal back kick from the horse.  
  
"Who's going to ride with who?" Missy asked. Within an instant, she'd leapt up onto the brown horse. "Come on, Arrers!"  
  
Aragorn shrugged and got on in front of Missy. "Hold on."  
  
Missy grinned from ear-to-ear as she flung her arms around Aragorn's waist and hooked onto him.  
  
"I didn't say strangle me to death. I said HOLD on," poor Aragorn replied.  
  
"I don't like riding horses," Becky said, pouting. "I'm not getting up on that thing."  
  
The horse neighed in protest and glared.  
  
"You liked riding Bill, didn't you?" Missy put in, from behind Aragorn.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAH! BILL!!" that sent Becky into tears. "Besides, Bill was a pony!"  
  
"May the Valar forgive me," Legolas sighed. He grabbed Becky about the waist and tossed her up on the white horse. He got on in front of her and Gimli climbed on behind Becky.  
  
They rode across to the pile of carcasses, Becky yelping for dear life all along the way.  
  
Gimli began searching through the ashes and the bodies. He came across a charred belt and a sword sheath.  
  
"It's one of their wee belts," Gimli said, holding it up with tears in his eyes.  
  
Becky and Missy completely broke down and hugged each other tightly.  
  
"Hiro hyn hîdh ab 'wanath," Legolas said, quietly in Elven prayer.  
  
"Huh?" Missy asked, cocking her head at Legolas.  
  
"May they find peace after death," Becky said, nodding at Legolas who nodded back.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Aragorn snarled in frustration. He kicked an Orc helmet with all his strength and dropped to his knees.  
  
"This was when Viggo broke his toes," Becky said, nodding knowingly. "At least I thinkie so."  
  
"We failed them," Gimli said, disbelief thick in his voice.  
  
Aragorn seemed about to say something but something caught his eye.  
  
"A Hobbit lay here....and the other," Aragorn said, clearing the grass with his hands.  
  
"What the fuzzy is he talking about?" Legolas whispered to Gimli.  
  
"I ALWAYS knew he was a little wacky," Gimli whispered back.  
  
*FLASHBACK: Pippin screams as he looks up at a pair of hooves coming closer. He rolls over.*  
  
"They crawled," Aragorn said, crawling across the ground.  
  
"How cool! Is this follow the leader?" Becky dropped to her knees and crawled behind Aragorn.  
  
"Follow the leader?" Legolas echoed.  
  
"Just do EXACTLY what he's doing," Missy instructed.  
  
*FLASHBACK: Merry and Pippin crawl away frantically from the scene of the fight.*  
  
"Their hands were bound!" Aragorn said, picking up a bit of rope.  
  
*FLASHBACK: Pippin rubs his bonds desperately over an abandoned, upturned blade*  
  
"Their bonds were cut. They ran over here.... they were followed," Aragorn said, running along. In his wake, came Becky, Missy, Legolas and Gimli all running along too.  
  
*Flashback: Their hands finally freed, the hobbits run away from the battle scene, dodging under a horse as Uruk-hai bodies fell all around them. As they flee, Random Orc 546 grabs Pippin by his belt and clings on.  
  
"The belt!" Pippin cried. Merry undid his belt and Random Orc 546 is left holding the belt and the hobbits ran off.  
  
"Run!" Pippin yelled.  
  
"The tracks lead away from the battle, into.... Fangorn Forest," Aragorn said, glancing up. Everyone else stopped playing follow the leader and paused to gape at the huge, menacing forest before them.  
  
"Fangorn! What madness drew them there?" Gimli asked, shocked.  
  
"The same madness that's gonna drive US in there," Becky piped up.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mewahhaaaaaaaa! Chapter 24 is over!!! Here are your notes:  
  
CheerCheerBubblegum-Thank you soooooooooooo much for the reviews! Don't forget to come back and visit.  
  
um good story but would legolas be a bit -put out by a girl he doesn't know sittinh on his lap-ehmmmmmmmmmm..thank you.  
  
HonestlyRachel-hey! Thank you so much for all the reviews! Here's more madness!  
  
OACHWADFARKAT WAHHH!-Thank you for the review! Here is more!  
  
Guesseroonikins-Hi there hon! Glad to see ya again! Ooh..Haunted! Hope you're good now! Thanks for the reviews! 


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